Wow! You two are in the thick of it!
Highlanders are "mostly" out of the zone, like 95%. It's been a year since the email went to local leadership and I must say we were lucky with the local leader roulette because they have respected our wishes. I've had a couple of text messages from a good friend who is TBM, but he keeps it light: "I was just thinking about you guys, hope all is well." This usually comes a day or two after a GC. He's a good guy so I keep the channel open with him although never diving into the issues.
We've only had one baptism this past year and my brother was totally cool with my decision not too participate. He knows where I am, a participating NOM himself. My parents and DW's mom and other extended TBM fam do not know we are out, but I'm sure it will trickle that direction over time. I think there was some discomfort at the baptism when I wore a non-white dress shirt and did not stand in the circle.
I think that since our kids are older, it was an easier exit for us. Our married kids were out before we were and our youngest at 14 was more than happy not to be slogging that treadmill anymore. My TBM cooworkers seem to be fine with it, as they tend to be more open minded than the average. They also work with a very diverse population of folks from all over the world, it's not a Mormon majority workplace like many others in UT.
An interesting side note: at the Home Depot last night, we were checking out with some spray paint and the self checkout told us to show ID to the attendant. We were joking with the guy about all the tagging we had to get done and this ID step was cramping our time. He didn't ask for it and just cleared the message so we could finish out; he also commented that the State liquor store didn't ID him last time he was in, even though he looks much younger than 40. I told him how I hate that the state liquor stores are designed to make you feel ashamed, because they are dumpy little buildings in crappy neighborhoods, they are under-serviced and always lacking desired products.
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I also told him I've stopped shopping there because there are so many local breweries and distilleries to visit now and you can buy direct, which is a much better shopping experience. Somehow it slipped out that his whole family were TBMs and he's a non-believing but still attending Mormon. We told him we'd been out for a year and encouraged him to hang in there. DW told him how I still attending for her benefit, before she got out, even thought I didn't believe, and how important it was for him to keep the peace in the family. He asked if we had read the CES letter and he was so excited to talk to us about where he was with his faith crisis and to know folks like us who had left. I told him to come and find NOM. It just struck me that there might be quite a few poor souls like that out there who are struggling with this but feel alone in their predicament. We felt so much empathy for him as we left the store.
I'm not sure where the next potential conflict of interest twilight zone event is in our future, but I'm sure there will be one. At least I don't have to do the renewal boogie anymore; now it's just dealing with possible explanation on non-participation.
Hang in there you participatory NOMers!
