Anyone else overwhelmed by this MTC confession?

[SincereInquirer]

RR you have had some posts over the last couple days that have been right on point for me. I feel the same as you describe here.

As always, I lurk mostly. I coast through r/exmormon for drive by laughs and to get a general idea of whether anything new is going on in the world of Mormonism. I lurk here to help myself heal and not feel crazy, and to gain perspective.

As of late, I feel like I have been doing better at moving on with respect to my feelings about the Church and its ongoing truth crisis. Today has been a bad day. I have felt so unsettled for many reasons, but I have determined that a significant part of it is due to coasting through r/exmormon and reading about all of the crap relating to this and the Church's response. I do appreciate the thoughtful responses and support offered here that relate to this event. I am now going to avoid this issue for the rest of the day.

[Silver Girl]

What a surprise this has turned into. I get home last night and walk in the door to hear the confession tapes playing in the background. Apparently Sister Ryder got a few texts during the day from friends about the whole thing so she was half way through the audio and had spent half a day reading all of the articles and transcripts. We listened to the rest of it together, pausing to make comments and ask questions.

She also read the PR statement and saw through the victim blaming. She sides with the victim.
She's extremely disturbed by the fact that there are most likely more victims.

This definitely loads up her shelf.

WOW - this is great news! Can't wait for future updates!

[Silver Girl]

.
This recording was triggering for me, and I was never in the MTC. I know from my own experience in other organizations that these things are often brushed aside, hidden, denied, or dealt with far too lightly. The victims never truly get vindication, because there's never really a sense that you were heard and defended. No apologies, because the lawyers tell them not to do that (how helpful and healing). I had a situation in middle school that included a witness (but she was another young girl, so that doesn't count). She went with me to report it, and the principal got angry at us. My parents went to his office to complain and the spineless jerk said, "Mr. Predator would never do a thing like that!" This was years ago, and schools had power, so that was the end of it. But yes, it still hurts to know nothing happened and it is angering to remember the incident.

This recording is similar to the recording that publicly proved the longtime knowledge that Weinstein was a predator. The reason for this (IMO) is that some people will dismiss accusations, even with a degree of proof, because they're inconvenient or they go against long-held beliefs, or they'll cause shame to the organization. Nobody, however, can easily "dismiss" audio recordings where you hear the grooming, the insistence, the victim's pain or efforts to get it to stop, or other emotions.

My guess is that many TBMs will focus on the fact she admits she threatened to kill the guy, so therefore she's crazy (even though there's undeniable proof of what happened). Some will focus on how long ago it's been - oh, okay, that means it's okay that it happened? I can almost name names of a few people who will do that. I'd like to punch them.

[SeeNoEvil]

red rider wrote: I'm overwhelmed by this latest scandal because rather than doing the RIGHT thing, the church (again) promotes carefully worded denials and ultimately blames the victims. It just hurts that much more to see the evil side of the church continue to show it's true colors.

Yes folks! .... What we here is have another opportunity missed by the church. This latest with Bishop was a perfect opportunity to step forward, do and say the correct thing... redeem themselves for the sins of the past but no.... more double down, victim blaming and pointing fingers in so many direction I am surprised their fingers didn't fall off! I am again disappointed in the church. It has been overwhelming as many of you can imagine.

I get why people on the other thread are so angry. The more you know about the history of the church from JS on and the more the church exposes their underbelly in times like this the angrier I get. It's become a permanent stain on my heart and soul that I don't know how to remove! And this stain runs deep in my veins negatively effecting me from my immediate family down to that first ancestor that joined the church and pushed those handcarts.

How did I spend more than half a life-time dedicating too much time and money to a fraud? How did I base EVERY semi-major life decision on a fraud? Now that I've lived my entire life based on a fraud, how the hell do I fix it? What now???

THIS! Just when I think I'm moving past the anger and finally seeing the light after 63 years of life wasted on this church another event happens sending me into overload with the damage control. It has been tough figuring our how we were duped in the first place and even tougher to move on from once again another "uncomfortable" Mormon moment.

[Anon70]

What a surprise this has turned into. I get home last night and walk in the door to hear the confession tapes playing in the background. Apparently Sister Ryder got a few texts during the day from friends about the whole thing so she was half way through the audio and had spent half a day reading all of the articles and transcripts. We listened to the rest of it together, pausing to make comments and ask questions.

She also read the PR statement and saw through the victim blaming. She sides with the victim.
She's extremely disturbed by the fact that there are most likely more victims.

This definitely loads up her shelf.

I'm so glad you had a similar day to mine, #tendermercies.

Two things from this - I don't know what I'd do without this board and its calls for moderation when speaking to TBM spouses and family during my faith transition. I don't think RR's day and mine would have went this way without such advice.

And secondly, I've come to understand that the church is its own worst enemy. As such, I don't have to constantly point the troubles out to Sis M. There will come a day she'll just see it for herself, titanium shelf or no. Don't know if this is the day, but by golly I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Agree with all of this. I made mistakes in the beginning. Now I let the church shoot itself in the foot and just watch the awakening. At least I hope it’s awakening.

[JustHangingOn@57]

..I briefed her as to what happened. So she asks, "what websites are you on, you're always looking at anti-mormon websites."

Isn't that interesting. My 55 yr old TBM DW asked me that exact question. I informed her that I was reading right from the Trib. Crickets. No interest whatsoever. She got up from the table and un-paused "Studio-5". It's as if I had just announced that the paint was completely dried now. My gut tells me this some sort of innoculative defense mechanism. But at least she isn't bearing her testimony as has happened in the past.

[alas]

Yes, I have found this whole thing very triggering and overwhelming. The church cares more about their public image than they do their members. What did Christ say about the publican who wears sack cloth and ashes and prays loudly in the market place for everyone to hear. That is caring about public image and Jesus Christ would have none of it. I am consoling myself with fantasies of Christ braiding his cat-online tails and then driving the public relations people out of LDSNewsroom.

This is why I am out of the church. I know that 99% of priesthood leaders do not care one bit about members who have been abused. They see them as needing more help than what they can contribute to the church so they are willing to let them be collateral damage. The church wants middle class priesthood holders and everyone else is someone needing service not a "contributor"

So, the church is on the high road to hell. I am trying not to care but my grand children are still in the mess.

[MerrieMiss]

Yes. It was particularly difficult this week because my SIL (who has had problems with her local leadership for at least a year) emailed me about how everything at church blew up for her this week. I just don't know how I can stay nuanced in talking about this stuff with people. It's systemic and all over the place.

[alas]

The behavior of covering up to protect their image will always come back to bite them in the butt. They may get away with it for a few years, but when it does come out the cover up is more damaging than dealing with the problem and embarrassment would have caused if they had dealt with it properly when they were first aware. Look at what brought down Nixon, Clinton, and the Catholic Church. It wasn't the crime so much as the coverup.

With the church this is especially bad because he confessed to being a sexual predator before he was ever put in as MTC president. So, if they had given a damn back then about who he might abuse in that position, then this never would have happened. But for many men in the church, they claim forgiveness, then go do it again, repent confess, repeat, repeat repeat. I personally know of several cases like this. Where the man confessed but minimized his sin and just kept moving up n the church leaving a trail of mistreated women behind them. And because this man was useful to the church, they over looked his years and years of the same pattern.

The church needs to start caring about women, not just mouthing words that they do not tolerate abuse, because it becomes obvious that the church does tolerate abuse.. Tolerating and covering up abuse will damage the church's reputation far more than the few sexual abusecases that do happen.

[Deepthinker]

Yes, I've been very overwhelmed by it. This is one thing I couldn't hold back in letting DW know about, and how upset I am about it. We talked about it for a while yesterday. I've been so tempted to post something to Facebook about it.

So great to hear about a potential breakthrough with your wife, RR. That's awesome!

Good news on my end as well. As DW and I were discussing this last night she actually agreed that the church has been trying to cover this thing up!
She believes the victim's account!

This is definitely something that many TBMs are upset by as well. Anyone see the latest By Common Consent post? So on point, gets to many of the real issues in a short and concise manner.
https://bycommonconsent.com/2018/03/22/ ... -l-bishop/