IT_Veteran,
I am a little conflicted as I reply back to your email. Part of me wants slap you & wake you up, part of me wants to reach out & give you a hug of support & help you, & part is very aware of my wife's & your wife's lazer beam eyes pointed at me, should I say the wrong thing. (And you thought you had pressure). So to be up front, honest, & so that when we talk down the road, you are not second guessing what I may or may not be thinking, I would like to touch on a few things.
1) I was told not to "fix" this, but I am one who likes to fix things, sometimes breaking them, just so I can fix them. (Generally the breaking was not part of the original plan, it just happens sometimes) But I am afraid this is NOT something I can fix. This is all yours. But I can help in any way you need help. Be it talking on the phone, in person, by email, or by not talking, as the case may be.
2) I was asked to not reply for a few days, which I have done.
3) Concerns I have about this journey you have chosen, or that has chosen you.
a) I know this will come as a shock, but I am not 29 years old. In the XXX years of my life I have seen many many families that had problems & issues when the father leaves or changes religions/beliefs. The kids never come out of it unscathed. The older they are, & the more stable they are, the better chance they have. Of your 3 children, 1-2 of them will likely follow in your footsteps, at some time in the future, wherever you may lead them. If you do not believe in God, then if they follow you, it may not bother you, but to the rest of us, it is of concern. The pressure on your wife to keep things at a spiritual normal for the kids, doing it by herself, will be significantly higher than before. An example would be her trip to the temple, alone, for some spiritual reinforcement.
b) Even the families who stay tight together in the church, still have problems with some of their children. The devil is real, is pretty smart, has lots of helpers, (1/3rd of the host of heaven, divided by the number on people on the earth now, that is like what, a 1,000 people to work on each one of us, that we cannot see that are trying to make our lives a mess), & a lot of tools that he knows how to use. Even in the best of cases, it is going to be hard to save our families.
c) If you remove your name from the church records while you are on this journey of discovery, your eternal family blessings are at risk. They can be restored, but if something happens before then. Just saying.....
4) Things to consider.
a) I do not know what things have caused your faith to shake, but remember, none of us have a perfect knowledge of those things we cannot see or touch. We are all running on faith, hope, & those times when the Spirit talks to us.
b) We all have our challenges, some have very hard ones, some have what seems like one after another, some of us make our challenges worse by making mistakes on top of them, some die young & may never know what their challenge was. We need to stand tall & do the best we can, after all this life is a test to see how we will behave without sure knowledge of the other side.
c) Things to note:
- if you do not believe in God, you die, & there is no God - then you no longer exist & it is over
- if you believe in God, you die, & there is no God - then you no longer exist & it is over, but you lived a good life
- if you do not believe in God, you die, & there is a God - you are toast
- if you believe in God, you die, & there is a God - the rewards will be awesome
d) If your family is important to you, may I suggest you do a lot of praying, from the soul. If you listen, you will hear him, it may not be in the way or when you think it should be, but if you are open & listening, you will hear Him. I promise He will, but be warned, sometimes if he is having a hard time getting through, he may send a tragedy your way, to help break down the wall that you may have unknowingly built.
5) As I have told you before, MIL & I love & support you. You have been a great husband for our daughter, a great father to our grand kids, & a great friend to us. Please do not take too long on this journey & please remain protective of your wife & children. If there is anything we can do to help, just let us know.
It is not my intent to have offended you in anyway, & I am hopeful that I have been able to convey my thoughts without offending you. If I have, I am sorry.
Love
FIL