Success is possible

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Cadahangel
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Success is possible

Post by Cadahangel » Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:24 am

I post here a post of home for those who are waiting for their DH/DW to see the light. Last night my wife told me "Hey I have made my decision" *my heart sinks* We have been here before and had to be a mixed faith marriage. She then proceeds "The Transition will be hard, but I have decided to follow you and become Christian. It will just take me time."

My soul lept for Joy. So don't give up just love them and know eventually this has taken 5 years they too will find their way to the truth.

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deacon blues
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Re: Success is possible

Post by deacon blues » Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:11 am

Congratulations. I imagine you have had ups and downs but I bet you are glad you hung in there and so is your spouse.
God is Love. God is Truth

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IT_Veteran
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Re: Success is possible

Post by IT_Veteran » Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:28 am

I'm very happy for you. There are still ups and downs to be had, as with any relationship, but I know this is very meaningful to you.

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didyoumythme
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Re: Success is possible

Post by didyoumythme » Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:32 am

Congrats! Always happy to see a relationship survive these transitions.

Honest question - After deconstructing Mormonism and losing faith, how did you stop short of deconstructing Christianity?
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease being honest, or cease being mistaken. - Anonymous

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Corsair
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Re: Success is possible

Post by Corsair » Fri Jun 01, 2018 10:34 am

That's amazing. I wish you well in your transition.

Cadahangel
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Re: Success is possible

Post by Cadahangel » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:08 am

didyoumythme wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:32 am
Honest question - After deconstructing Mormonism and losing faith, how did you stop short of deconstructing Christianity?
I have had experiences in my life that have made me Christian regardless of Mormonism. I always felt Mormonism was a middleman in my relationship with God. I essentially got rid of the middleman.

In my experience, a lot of people lose faith in it all when they leave Mormonism. The reason for this IMHO is that their relationship with God is tied to the religion it's not its own thing. So, when they lose their faith in the religion they lose faith in God as well. Also, it doesn't help that they already have a seed planted that every other religion is in an aposticized state. So, if the " ONLY TRUE CHURCH" isn't true then nothing else can be because they supposedly only have "part truth"

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IT_Veteran
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Re: Success is possible

Post by IT_Veteran » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:10 am

Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:08 am
didyoumythme wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:32 am
Honest question - After deconstructing Mormonism and losing faith, how did you stop short of deconstructing Christianity?
I have had experiences in my life that have made me Christian regardless of Mormonism. I always felt Mormonism was a middleman in my relationship with God. I essentially got rid of the middleman.

In my experience, a lot of people lose faith in it all when they leave Mormonism. The reason for this IMHO is that their relationship with God is tied to the religion it's not its own thing. So, when they lose their faith in the religion they lose faith in God as well. Also, it doesn't help that they already have a seed planted that every other religion is in an aposticized state. So, if the " ONLY TRUE CHURCH" isn't true then nothing else can be because they supposedly only have "part truth"
I think I've seen this a lot too. I've wondered to myself whether it has destroyed my belief in God or whether that came from somewhere else. On a personal level, I lost my belief in God first, lost all faith in the Bible as a divine account of anything, and then Mormonism didn't make sense to me anymore, rather than the other way around.

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wtfluff
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Re: Success is possible

Post by wtfluff » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:22 am

Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:08 am
In my experience, a lot of people lose faith in it all when they leave Mormonism. The reason for this IMHO is that their relationship with God is tied to the religion it's not its own thing. So, when they lose their faith in the religion they lose faith in God as well. Also, it doesn't help that they already have a seed planted that every other religion is in an aposticized state. So, if the " ONLY TRUE CHURCH" isn't true then nothing else can be because they supposedly only have "part truth"
My experience has been that most people who come to know the truth about mormonism, use the same skepticism and critical thinking they used to debunk mormonism, apply that to other religions, and realize that there is no evidence that any religion actually has "truth".

Just curious, have you investigated Islam to see if you could have any "spiritual" experiences there?
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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alas
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Re: Success is possible

Post by alas » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:39 am

IT_Veteran wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:10 am
Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:08 am
didyoumythme wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 9:32 am
Honest question - After deconstructing Mormonism and losing faith, how did you stop short of deconstructing Christianity?
I have had experiences in my life that have made me Christian regardless of Mormonism. I always felt Mormonism was a middleman in my relationship with God. I essentially got rid of the middleman.

In my experience, a lot of people lose faith in it all when they leave Mormonism. The reason for this IMHO is that their relationship with God is tied to the religion it's not its own thing. So, when they lose their faith in the religion they lose faith in God as well. Also, it doesn't help that they already have a seed planted that every other religion is in an aposticized state. So, if the " ONLY TRUE CHURCH" isn't true then nothing else can be because they supposedly only have "part truth"
I think I've seen this a lot too. I've wondered to myself whether it has destroyed my belief in God or whether that came from somewhere else. On a personal level, I lost my belief in God first, lost all faith in the Bible as a divine account of anything, and then Mormonism didn't make sense to me anymore, rather than the other way around.
For me, I could tolerate all the problems with Mormonism because it was my spiritual home, even if I didn't believe it was true. Then my concept of an intervening God got smacked in the side of the head, and I got tired of tolerating having to constantly remind myself that this human organization that calls itself a Christian church is trying to follow Christ, even if they were doing a lousy job of it. I decided that I don't like Christianity because it focuses so much on making everything better---for the sinner. And it just seems to abandon the sinned against as worse than the sinner if they don't forgive, while not helping with healing or protection from being harmed by further sins by the same sinner, so, it is just Mercy robbing the sinned against of any kind of justice. We will make sure *God* gets justice but having Christ pay for sins, but you poor suckers have to suck it up and forgive. No, give me a God who tortures the guilty for eternity and protects children from monsters, or don't bother with any kind of God.

Sure Christianity as Jesus taught it is not that way, but I have not found a church that is really following Christ in its actions and not just its words.

So, I have decided that most Mormons lose faith in the church because it isn't what it claims to be and lose faith in Christianity for the same reason.

Cadahangel
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Re: Success is possible

Post by Cadahangel » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:42 am

wtfluff wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:22 am
Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:08 am
In my experience, a lot of people lose faith in it all when they leave Mormonism. The reason for this IMHO is that their relationship with God is tied to the religion it's not its own thing. So, when they lose their faith in the religion they lose faith in God as well. Also, it doesn't help that they already have a seed planted that every other religion is in an aposticized state. So, if the " ONLY TRUE CHURCH" isn't true then nothing else can be because they supposedly only have "part truth"
My experience has been that most people who come to know the truth about Mormonism, use the same skepticism and critical thinking they used to debunk mormonism, apply that to other religions, and realize that there is no evidence that any religion actually has "truth".

Just curious, have you investigated Islam to see if you could have any "spiritual" experiences there?
I have actually read the Q'uaran like a few verses here and there. Truly though I am Christian. Sometimes I wonder about the support of this board I come to offer hope that good news can happen and am met with criticism from a supposedly open group.

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IT_Veteran
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Re: Success is possible

Post by IT_Veteran » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:50 am

Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:42 am
wtfluff wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:22 am
Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:08 am
In my experience, a lot of people lose faith in it all when they leave Mormonism. The reason for this IMHO is that their relationship with God is tied to the religion it's not its own thing. So, when they lose their faith in the religion they lose faith in God as well. Also, it doesn't help that they already have a seed planted that every other religion is in an aposticized state. So, if the " ONLY TRUE CHURCH" isn't true then nothing else can be because they supposedly only have "part truth"
My experience has been that most people who come to know the truth about Mormonism, use the same skepticism and critical thinking they used to debunk mormonism, apply that to other religions, and realize that there is no evidence that any religion actually has "truth".

Just curious, have you investigated Islam to see if you could have any "spiritual" experiences there?
I have actually read the Q'uaran like a few verses here and there. Truly though I am Christian. Sometimes I wonder about the support of this board I come to offer hope that good news can happen and am met with criticism from a supposedly open group.
I hope you don't feel that I was attacking you or your faith, I merely wanted to add my perspective on your statement about why so many walk away without any belief at all. For some of us, that is because we've been burned by Mormonism, to your point.

And I think most here are genuinely curious about your path because we don't understand the how or why. Not that most think it's wrong, we just have a hard time comprehending it. Frankly, I think your voice is not only welcome here, but that it's good to have your perspective because it differs so much from everyone else's.

More than anything, I think that people don't feel like they should have to hold their tongues because they've spent a lifetime doing it regarding matters of faith and belief. You're also going to have some that walked a similar path to you first, and then finding the rest of their beliefs crumble over time.

I think there's room for varying belief here, but it requires a bit of a thick skin. In the great debate on the fake apology last week, I really thought that it was getting pretty heated and worried that people would disconnect from the conversation or the board and not come back. I appear to have been wrong, as everyone seems to still be able to communicate in healthy ways here.

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Kalikala
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Re: Success is possible

Post by Kalikala » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:51 am

Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 7:24 am
I post here a post of home for those who are waiting for their DH/DW to see the light. Last night my wife told me "Hey I have made my decision" *my heart sinks* We have been here before and had to be a mixed faith marriage. She then proceeds "The Transition will be hard, but I have decided to follow you and become Christian. It will just take me time."

My soul lept for Joy. So don't give up just love them and know eventually this has taken 5 years they too will find their way to the truth.
Congratulations! I won’t ever be on the same page with my husband again because I still believe in Christ. But we are on more similar pages now than we were and it makes things much easier.
"The opposite of Faith is not Doubt, it's Certainty." ~ Anne Lamott

Love More.

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alas
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Re: Success is possible

Post by alas » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:51 am

PS, I hope you don't feel that we are trying to shoot down your faith. I think we are just giving our reasons for losing faith in Christianity as different than the reason you gave. It is the same thing as how Mormon think people leave because they are offended or whatever, because they can't comprehend the REAL reason, so they invent a false one to explain it that they can comprehend. No, I left Mormonism because of bad fruit, thus it isn't what it claims. I left Christianity because I see no evidence that it is what it claims.


Aw, as I go to post this, I see that you do feel that we are critical of you. Sorry. I didn't mean to be. Just give my different reasons for no longer truely believing in any form of Christianity

Cadahangel
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Re: Success is possible

Post by Cadahangel » Fri Jun 01, 2018 12:04 pm

Honestly, I was probably overgeneralizing I don't care about those who don't believe. That is fine its comments like have you investigated Islam to see if you can find spiritual experiences. It discounts my own experiences and I don't think the attack is needed it reminds me of FAIRs Ad hominem Attacks. you telling your story is not an issue for me.

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jfro18
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Re: Success is possible

Post by jfro18 » Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:22 pm

I always love hearing these success stories - it gives me hope that one day I might be posting one myself!

I hope you are not offended by the questions - I know as someone currently going through a faith crisis beyond Mormonism, I am genuinely interested as to what people move to whether it's Christianity, atheism, or anything else. Personally I am having a hard time believing in God at all now, because I now find myself viewing the Bible with the same skepticism that I view the BoM as I go through it.

At the same time, I *want* to believe in more... so I want to find something to have faith in, and for me a more general Christianity would be what gives me the most comfort. Just trying to find a path to getting to that place in my head -- it has been a much more destructive journey going through a faith crisis with mormonism than I would've thought...

Anyway - I'm rambling. I would love to hear both of your journeys from here to see how you find comfort going away from the LDS church and into something else. It is definitely helpful for us to hear all of these viewpoints as we are struggling to find our own.

Thanks for posting and congrats!

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RubinHighlander
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Re: Success is possible

Post by RubinHighlander » Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:33 pm

wtfluff wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:22 am

My experience has been that most people who come to know the truth about mormonism, use the same skepticism and critical thinking they used to debunk mormonism, apply that to other religions, and realize that there is no evidence that any religion actually has "truth".
Yup, that's how it played out for me. I quickly found equal to and greater "spiritual" experiences when I started getting out more into nature. Once I found these were common emotional responses that were not unique to my Mormon experience and that many others across all faiths and non-faiths experience these same feelings, it was enough to help me let go of all the man-made Gods and the baggage that comes with them. No longer having to attribute good/bad/lucky/blessed/cursed to any supernatural force was liberating.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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EternityIsNow
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Re: Success is possible

Post by EternityIsNow » Fri Jun 01, 2018 3:09 pm

Christianity is quite a spectrum, from the ultra conservative to the more liberal and open-minded. I think it's great to transition from Mormonism to a Christian church, although I hope it will not be to a more fundamentalist group. I think some evangelical groups are pretty toxic. But even though I consider Christianity a man-made religion with Jesus as the mythical figurehead, patterned after earlier religions (Egyptian-Greek-Roman etc), I really like some Christian groups, and read (Episcopal) Bishop John Shelby Spong's writings for years during my faith transition. Transitioning to a Christian group sounds like a reasonable evolutionary path to me, to help ease the change. Just don't forget what you learned transitioning out of Mormonism. We each have to find our own way. I like to remember that religion co-evolved with the human brain, so we are wired to believe in something and seek security in some of the things we can imagine. Wanting to stop being religious for some people would be tantamount to wanting to stop being human. We are what we are. I think what is more important here is to transition into a good religion, a group that does not cause familial and mental damage in order to protect itself. I wish religions would adopt the philosophy to first do no harm.

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wtfluff
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Re: Success is possible

Post by wtfluff » Fri Jun 01, 2018 3:13 pm

Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 12:04 pm
Honestly, I was probably overgeneralizing I don't care about those who don't believe. That is fine its comments like have you investigated Islam to see if you can find spiritual experiences. It discounts my own experiences and I don't think the attack is needed it reminds me of FAIRs Ad hominem Attacks. you telling your story is not an issue for me.
FYI: Overgeneralizing discounts other people's experiences.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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glass shelf
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Re: Success is possible

Post by glass shelf » Fri Jun 01, 2018 3:48 pm

RubinHighlander wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:33 pm
wtfluff wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:22 am

My experience has been that most people who come to know the truth about mormonism, use the same skepticism and critical thinking they used to debunk mormonism, apply that to other religions, and realize that there is no evidence that any religion actually has "truth".
Yup, that's how it played out for me. I quickly found equal to and greater "spiritual" experiences when I started getting out more into nature. Once I found these were common emotional responses that were not unique to my Mormon experience and that many others across all faiths and non-faiths experience these same feelings, it was enough to help me let go of all the man-made Gods and the baggage that comes with them. No longer having to attribute good/bad/lucky/blessed/cursed to any supernatural force was liberating.
Me, too. It's liberating to only have my own moral compass to follow, not believe in "worthiness," and look at life as what I see in front of me.

Cadahangel
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Re: Success is possible

Post by Cadahangel » Sat Jun 02, 2018 7:53 am

wtfluff wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 3:13 pm
Cadahangel wrote:
Fri Jun 01, 2018 12:04 pm
Honestly, I was probably overgeneralizing I don't care about those who don't believe. That is fine its comments like have you investigated Islam to see if you can find spiritual experiences. It discounts my own experiences and I don't think the attack is needed it reminds me of FAIRs Ad hominem Attacks. you telling your story is not an issue for me.
FYI: Overgeneralizing discounts other people's experiences.
Hence the apology Fluff. Can't help but comment on everything huh? I get being skeptical, but you need to learn to live and let live or you are being just as controlling as the Q15

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