Mission Issues

[Linked]

As I have been working through my disaffection I keep getting new feelings about my mission. My latest feeling is frustration at what it did to an otherwise important and exciting time of my life. I left on a mission the November after I graduated high school. This gave me 5 months with nothing to do. I got a job at a telemarketing place that was awful, my friends all left on missions in the summer, and got lonely and depressed. I would fall asleep to late night talk shows and wake up at 2 pm just before my shift started at work. After work I would just sit at home because I was friendless and had nowhere to make friends. One evening I laid on the couch as the sun set and played Bop-It with myself in the dark, I didn't realize that you could actually beat the game until that night.

I recognize life could have been worse and this story really isn't that bad. But in another life this was my time to try to take the world by storm. Start college, get out on my own, figure out my life! Instead I was in a holding pattern for 5 useless months. If I did it over again and went on a mission I would have gone to college for at least a semester so I wouldn't have wasted that time in my life.

This also led to issues after the mission with having no idea what came next. I figured it out and everything is fine, but it could have been avoided.

[TestimonyLost]

I had a really rough time as a missionary and left after less than a year. Like really left, got in a car after my companion fell asleep one night and didn't come back. It took me close to 10 years to come to peace with the experience. I viewed myself as a failure and the mission time itself had some really unpleasant aspects (like a few of my top 10 worst memories comes from that period).

What helped me come to that peace (again, over a very long time) was remembering some of the things I learned from that time (good and bad) and reminding myself constantly that all those experiences made me who I am. I don't even regret it. I learned things about myself, the church, and the world that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. Replace that time with anything else and I'm a different person. Maybe alternate me would have been better, maybe not. Either way, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

I'm not saying that you'll ever look back on that time with happiness, but I can say from experience that it is possible to come to terms with it even if it was awful.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It won't be okay over night, but have hope that it will be okay someday.

[Reuben]

I enrolled in a couple semesters of community college before I left. They were mostly a massive waste of time because I cared just enough to not fail.

My mission was a continuation of the relentless boredom and bullying I had grown up with, except that the bullying was internalized, so I didn't defend against it. (Pro: this finally got me out of defense mode. A wash: more guilt, less shame.) There were a couple of good things that came out of the mission. First, I learned to care enough about human beings to figure out how to act like one. Second, I proved to myself that I could work hard.

Things definitely went better after I returned, but it took some adjusting. It's hard to find your feet after emerging from such a high-pressure, high-control environment. Nobody explained it that way, though, so of course I blamed myself for every mistake I made while swinging like a pendulum between Missionbot and hormone-addled caveman.

Here's my favorite story from that time. Homecoming sacrament meetings were still a thing back then. After mine, all of my high school friends and I retired to my house. They were all well impressed by my new Scottish accent, so I decided to sing them a Scottish ditty. I hadn't learned it in Scotland, but from the girl I was trying to steal from one of my best friends. (Yes. Hormone-addled caveman.) It's about two young lassies who come across a Scotsman while he sleeps, lift up his kilt to discover that he's going True Scots, and decide to tie a ribbon on his, uh, priesthood antenna.

I can't imagine what all my friends must have been thinking by the time I belted out, "Lad, I don't know where ya' bin, but I see ya've wan first prize!" I don't recall applause, but I do recall about 20 deer-in-the-headlights stares.

Good times, good times.

Honestly, I think CBT+Peace Corps would have been a better fit for me, but my experience is what it is. If nothing else, it makes me a strong advocate for my son in his not wanting to go.

[Just This Guy]

I can't imagine what all my friends must have been thinking by the time I belted out, "Lad, I don't know where ya' bin, but I see ya've wan first prize!" I don't recall applause, but I do recall about 20 deer-in-the-headlights stares.

Hah! I remember that from a Doctor Demento CD I had as a kid.

Here it is for everyone else.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N2VayTZ_gPo

Sent from my LG-H740 using Tapatalk

[deacon blues]

I was introduced to Dr. Demento on my mission (California). I only heard him once, but it was an unforgettatatatable experience.

[RubinHighlander]

I can't imagine what all my friends must have been thinking by the time I belted out, "Lad, I don't know where ya' bin, but I see ya've wan first prize!" I don't recall applause, but I do recall about 20 deer-in-the-headlights stares.

Hah! I remember that from a Doctor Demento CD I had as a kid.

Here it is for everyone else.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N2VayTZ_gPo

Sent from my LG-H740 using Tapatalk

Holy crap! At work yesterday I was talking to a coworker about Dr. D and the Scotsman song! He sent me a copy of it. Do you ever get freaked out by the strange coincidences in life sometimes? Makes me really wonder about the simulation theory of reality sometimes. I listened to a lot of Dr. D in the late 70's and postmo mid-80's. I had a cheap entertainment console with a record player, eight track and radio and I'd record my favorites on the eight track.

I'd have to day that overall my mission experience had more good times than bad. I had some great comps and friends I made there and being in N. England I really enjoyed the culture, cities and country side there. I think what really prepped me for my mission was joining the army the year before and having the basic training experience. I think I was an average missionary, had some successes and lots of goofing off fun as well.

The hardest part looking back and one of the biggest shelf items that hard to swallow is the First Vision and restoration of the Church. In 83-85 it was the foundation of the discussions. We showed the FV filmstrip or the flipchart story on the first visit, then moved right into the restoration of the priesthood where JS and OC get the AP, baptize each other then get the MP then the church is organized. It was the big correlated lies of the COB I was feeding all those good people in the UK and it's left a really bitter feeling for me since I escaped the matrix. This and finding out all the anti-Mormon literature I'd seen in those days that turned out to be the truth.

[dogbite]

I was a baby sitter for problem missionaries for most of my mission. It was a serious waste of time and money.

[crossmyheart]

On topic- I moved in with my parents in a different state in October and left in January. Spent at least one day a week at the temple. Because it FREAKED me out the first time and I wanted to understand it. I was 20 years old and should have been going out with friends and enjoying life, not spending 1 day a week with old people performing masonic rituals. I was in my third year of college and I lost a scholarship when I left. I can't say that my mission was a waste- I feel good about the community service I performed for the people in that area. But I could have accomplished more on a 4 week mission like some of the evangelical religions do.

Off topic- I LOVE Dr. D! Listened to him every Sunday night when I lived in Utah as a kid. My favorite song was the Existential Blues. Go figure.

Fish heads?
They are coming to take me away!?

I have several Dr. D. cassette tapes somewhere...

[slavereeno]

I may be an anomaly, but my mission was great. I had a very relaxed mission president, lived in Europe, learned a foreign language, gained a ton of experience and confidence I didn't have before and I believe I came back a better person, or at least more mature.

My mission was a little different though I suppose. We could listen to regular music on P-day. We usually took the entire day as a p-day and rarely went back out to proselyte. My second and third comps didn't really proselyte a bunch, we did a lot of shopping and sight seeing. About half way through I ended up in a hospital for a month. Then I was in the mission office for almost a year after that. They way the MP ran the office, it was all elders and no senior missionaries. We didn't proselyte much in the office either. I did a lot of computer tech support, driving, shopping, repair work, construction, service, I even wrote a records database in basic. So only a tiny bit of actual missionary work in the office. Also, the MP and his wife took us on sight seeing trips all around the country (even outside the mission boundaries). We were all the bad things they accuse office elders of being come to think of it.

Through all of that, in a mission with an average baptism rate of 1 per missionary per mission, I could still look back and say I was more successful than most. So my experience was jaded.

My RM DS once asked why I called it the best two years, because he didn't really enjoy his all that much. This makes me feel awful because I based my experience on something that is not real for most I think, and got my kids all hyped up on an experience they would not have.

[RubinHighlander]

I will say how glad I am that I never had to deal with the Blacks and Priesthood issues. Thought about this while listening to this Radio West podcast on the topic. Doug has three recent shows that get into the topic:

http://radiowest.kuer.org/post/road-revelation

[redjay]

Even as a TBM when my oldest a few years ago showed no inclination to go on a mission I was glad. Mine was a complete waste of time (yes there were learning experiences, but none I couldn't have got elsewhere).

It is token of the conformity and compliance that no one feels comfortable opening up at church and saying - "well mine sucked".

[Red Ryder]

One evening I laid on the couch as the sun set and played Bop-It with myself in the dark,

We all did pre-mission. We all did....

My mission was a mixture of work hard play hard. Did some of the best mountain biking in some great places. Went to the beach a lot. Lived across the street so we would wake up and jog along the boardwalk. It was a great place to live and be outdoors. I was annEnglish speaking elder but got to spend 2 months in an Asian speaking zone and got eat great food.

Overall it was a good experience. Still think it was a waste of time now but I don't have any regrets or nightmares.

[Ghost]

I may be an anomaly, but my mission was great. I had a very relaxed mission president, lived in Europe, learned a foreign language, gained a ton of experience and confidence I didn't have before and I believe I came back a better person, or at least more mature.

I was also lucky in this regard. I was miserable at times for sure as a missionary, but overall I see the whole experience as a positive thing. I don't think there's any chance that I would have had experiences equivalent to those that I value in any other way. But then, I can only go so far in considering hypothetical things that might have been different in the past before realizing that I would be a different person without those experiences and so I wouldn't even be here wondering.

One of the side-effects of my faith transition has been that I generally find it more difficult to think of things as a waste of time, past or present. I don't know that this is entirely a good thing when it affects my motivation and priorities.