Just a rant about family

[MerrieMiss]

This is long overdue, so long overdue that I don’t even know where to start or what to say.

When I got married, I liked my in-laws. I cannot stand them anymore.

Part of It is me. I know I’ve changed, although I always had this sneaky suspicion that I’d run into problems with them when I had kids, and wow is that becoming evident.

But they’ve changed too. They’ve become more judgmental, divisive, pious, conservative. My BIL calls it something like a religious bender, so I know it isn’t just me. And it’s driving my husband nuts too. They’ve been kind of rude to him recently, but of course, not overtly. All three women and my FIL are presidents of quorums/auxiliaries – it’s stifling. Last year FIL patronizingly told me, “Don’t worry MerrieMiss, someday you’ll be a RS president too.” Hell no. And then they all complain they don’t have any time to do anything.

This last weekend I had to spend two days with them. We skipped church to spend Sunday with them and I am not exaggerating when I say I wished I’d gone to all three hours of church then gone home to my own house. I’d even have given a talk and participated in GD. I’d have shared a special experience in RS, but please don’t make me spend more than one day in a row with those people ever again.

I don’t really want to bore people with the details. Most of you probably have similar families, so you know what I’m talking about. We sit around and talk about callings, pick apart the handbook, talk about who isn’t living a covenant keeping life, gossip about ward members I have never met, moralize about how much better we are than everyone else, how without the priesthood babies don’t have real names, bearing testimony over the food, and on and on.

The passive aggressive behavior. My husband wonders if I’m reading into things too much, but I don’t think so. The women in that family have some power issues.No, it's not just the women. The whole family is passive aggressive, and that's bothered me for a long time. And his dad is what I call a “passive patriarch” in that he isn’t overt or aggressive in his preaching, but underhanded and guilt tripping and moralizing.

And we all have to sit there, with Mom-and-Dad-in-law, staring at each other, because if we try to go on a walk or get up and do something different, then we aren’t being a family. If this is the celestial kingdom my friends, I don’t want any part of it, because it’s bloody hell, let me tell you.

[MoPag]

This last weekend I had to spend two days with them. We skipped church to spend Sunday with them and I am not exaggerating when I say I wished I’d gone to all three hours of church then gone home to my own house. I’d even have given a talk and participated in GD. I’d have shared a special experience in RS, but please don’t make me spend more than one day in a row with those people ever again.

WOW that must have been bad!!! They sound really annoying.

Can you convince them it's time to serve a senior mission? Just passive/aggressive them back. Share GC talks about serving senior missions. I bet you can find Ensign articles about senior missions too.

[MerrieMiss]

Can you convince them it's time to serve a senior mission?

I guess this is one of the things that ticks me off about these people. They spew all kinds of belief about things, but they've never prepared to be the kind of person or do the things the church asks of them. They can't afford a mission. I mean, if you believe in the church, wouldn't you have prepared to proselyte in retirement (or whatever it is they do)?

They also never prepared financially to be the kind of people who can have family around all the time. I'm a fairly simple person, I don't think you need a big house or anything, but for people who claim family is the most important thing, you'd think they'd have prepared a little by having a home that can fit more than half a dozen people in it. And that they could afford to visit their kids instead of expecting everyone to come to them (since they no longer work and their kids do). I have a friend whose in-laws prepared for retirement in order to have a place where the family could all stay, who come and visit them, who watch her kids so she and her husband can go on trips.I don't think they're wealthy, but they truly believe family is more important than tchotchkes or Amway. Instead I married into the family who squandered their money and MLM'd it or invested it in a great opportunity because some member of the church told them to. Yeah, I have some jealousy issues.