NOM

I have a sister and BIL in town for the wedding. This sister has always seemed NOMish to me so I put it all out there with her and BIL last night. They were actually really good about it. She is NOMish, maybe a little more than I thought before. BIL may end up reading some posts here, possibly even posting. I think he is still more of a believer, but his story is his to tell. Our conversation was mostly great, the exception being that I started debating some of the issues with sister, I can affirm that, as has been advised here, this is not productive at all and almost immediately becomes adversarial. Once we stopped debating though, the conversation was great, lots of love and support from them, lots of common ground.

DW got a chance to finally talk to someone other than myself about this stuff which was amazing! It was really cathartic for her, she is feeling much better about my being more open with our kids. In fact I was able to open up finally with DD-1, so the only one of my children that I haven't be open with is DS who on his mission.

I have to remember that all the topics that one may want to debate, have already been debated many, many, times over and trying to debate those one on one with loved ones is pointless, it just harms relationships.

It is nice when you can engage family and discuss, but unless both are able to not take things personal it is not a good idea. I can debate with my brothers and it can get heated. At the end of the conversation we are all able to back off and agree to disagree. It hasn't meant much to our relationship. My mother is a no go.

Glad to hear that your conversation went relatively well. That has to feel good to be honest with someone.

I keep hoping to find someone, anyone, I can have an honest conversation with. I have engaged in conversation with a few people, only to find that they are waaaay more TBM than I originally thought. As in, they got offended when I suggested that evolution may actually be a thing.

Emower wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 12, 2018 7:59 pm

It is nice when you can engage family and discuss, but unless both are able to not take things personal it is not a good idea. I can debate with my brothers and it can get heated. At the end of the conversation we are all able to back off and agree to disagree. It hasn't meant much to our relationship. My mother is a no go.

My family and I have had some great conversations over the weekend, sometimes getting heated. We had a great conversation about Sam Young for example. I do worry that my more TBM relatives would be more dismissive of my arguments if I was out?

græy wrote: ↑

Mon Aug 13, 2018 8:16 am

I have engaged in conversation with a few people, only to find that they are waaaay more TBM than I originally thought. As in, they got offended when I suggested that evolution may actually be a thing.

Yes, I worry about that. I remember in my TBM days how important it was for me to assert my virtue by exaggerating my views. I think in general there is a higher percentage of intellectual honesty about church stuff, but its not the massive tide I keep wishing it was.