Polygamy Rap: I'm the King of Nauvoo!

[Red Ryder]

When F&T doesn't entertain you enough:

Hey Martin, turn off the lights and give me a beat! Forget about Nephi for a dope time, I got my head in this hat, let's see if it can rhyme!!

Yo East side... west side too..Shout out Nauvoo!
Boom... Boom...boom..... Boooooooom!!!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! There's Fanny, Lucinda, Louisa, and bust that Zina too! I kept them a secret from Emma and a few!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! There's Presendia, and Agnes, and Silvia too! Can't forget Mary Rollins Lightner, she was a bed Brightner!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I'm the Alpha & Omega
Theres Patty, Marinda, and Elizabeth busta names too!I hid my bitches from everyone but a few!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I got sunshine in my pocket busts rhymes and lock it in. There's Sarah, Delcena, and Eliza R. Snow!
I promised them eternity, no commitment, then I lock it in!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I'm a sleezy, old geezy making love. To Sarah, and Martha, and don't faget about Ruth! I've got eternity to offer in exchange for secrecy in their youth.

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I banged Flora for fun, then took a runFrom the mob chasing me for banging twins. I'm sleezy and old school geezy making love. For chasing bubble butt hotty twins. Emily. Check! Eliza check. I got the win!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I got bitches married to other men too! Don't forget Almera, Lucy, and Sarah too. Was Maria her mother?? I'm the Sleezy old geezy! Play no games, say no names, I'm the king of Secrecy. I'll put you out bitches.

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! My favorite girl believed it was true. I chased Helen Mar Kimball, and Hanna Ells too!Females lie, females lie, we just met, and I banged them too!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! They call me superman! There's Elvira, and Rhoda, And Desdemona Fullmer too. I'll I know is bitches come and go. Saturday through Sunday. I want to rescue you!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I can't be your superman when chased by the mob.
Put on this secret underwear and lock in the knob!

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! There's Olive, and Melissa, and Nancy too! Last but not least I'm gangsta! I'm gangsta. Gangsta. Don't underestimate me, I took Fanny Young too!

Yes, yes, yes I'm the king of Nauvoo!
My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo
I have 34 wives, yes I do! I'm living life in the fast lane. Foot on the gas. No place to stop. Living life in the fast lane!

[slavereeno]

Did you work in all the wives' names? (i didn't count)

[Wonderment]

Bwa hahahahaha ! This is wonderful ! You're a talented writer. Thanks for the Labor Day weekend brightener. - Wndr.

[Reuben]

This is flippin' amazing.

And it's long. It's so easy for the number 34 to come across as "many." This rap gives a sense of scale.

My name is Joseph, I'm the King of Nauvoo...