He's Lost the Spirit

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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GoodBoy
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He's Lost the Spirit

Post by GoodBoy » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:27 pm

I watched one of my students, who was raised Muslim but doesn't believe in Islam, eat pork in front of other Muslims and he acted like a whipped puppy. Maybe because he knew he was being judged by his peers. His behavior was interesting to me because what he was doing wasn't wrong and he knew it.

Part of what is painful for me when I attend church or hang out with my TBM friends is that I feel that they are judging me. So it is easy to hang my head and sit in the back, and to feel awkward and like I don't belong. This body language reinforces to them that I have "lost the spirit" or "the light has going out of my eyes" and that non-belief or leaving the church makes one unhappy. I have to remind myself that I have done nothing wrong, That I'm not crazy. That if there is a God, then he or she does not disapprove of me. That I can hold my head up, be happy, and reach out in friendship to these TBM friends and family. I can belong and fit in if I want to.
Always been the good kid, but I wanted to know more, and to find and test truth.

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Red Ryder
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Re: He's Lost the Spirit

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Oct 19, 2018 3:45 pm

I recently attended a scout court of honor and felt the same awkward feelings you describe. Then I looked over at my kid and could see they were feeling the same. It was sad to see my feelings reflecting in my child.

I decided to get up after it was over and say hi to a few people. One of which was our Bishop. I made sure to keep eye contact and engage in conversation to show that I am normal.

Most of the time I don't want to do this. I just want to get the hell out of the building as fast as possible!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Hagoth
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Re: He's Lost the Spirit

Post by Hagoth » Fri Oct 19, 2018 4:21 pm

Smile and the whole world smiles with you (or at least has a little bit more trouble jumping to the erroneous conclusion that your are miserable).
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: He's Lost the Spirit

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:21 pm

Cultural rejection is tough, both on the tribe and the non-conforming tribe member. You are fighting millions of years of evolution. Seems that would naturally result in some negative emotions for both parties.

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achilles
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Re: He's Lost the Spirit

Post by achilles » Sun Oct 21, 2018 9:58 am

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote:
Fri Oct 19, 2018 8:21 pm
You are fighting millions of years of evolution.
I wonder just how much of Mormonism flows from the amygdala*. I would guess a lot of it. In order to be a chosen people, there have to be the unchosen. It goes with the territory.

It sucks but haters gonna hate. I think the best course of action is to overwhelm them with evidence that you are a normal human being, just like them. Eventually they have to confront the facts. It has worked for the LGBTs--that is why the PoX exists. Russ and Dallin are so d@mned scared that normal gay families will change people's minds that they had to push them out before too many members face reality. I suppose it's the same with "apostates"...

*concerning the amygdala:
The right hemisphere is associated with negative emotion. It plays a role in the expression of fear and in the processing of fear-inducing stimuli. Fear conditioning, which occurs when a neutral stimulus acquires aversive properties, occurs within the right hemisphere. When an individual is presented with a conditioned, aversive stimulus, it is processed within the right amygdala, producing an unpleasant or fearful response. This emotional response conditions the individual to avoid fear-inducing stimuli.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

― Carl Sagan

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