Home study church

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Evil_Bert
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Home study church

Post by Evil_Bert » Tue Nov 13, 2018 10:32 pm

I haven't said much about the new schedule, but my wife asked the kids about it Monday night. She asked if they were excited and if they thought they would be able to do the home study. My oldest son just ducked the question. The 11 year old son said he would be bored. My 15 year old daughter, who is pretty caught up in the church, especially the social scene said she didn't think she would study. I wanted to high five them all.

As for me I am going to go the one hour schedule. I haven't been to Sunday school in 14 or so years. Why start now? As for EQ, I hate going and when I do I either read or play on my phone.
Illegitimi non carborundum.

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MoPag
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Re: Home study church

Post by MoPag » Wed Nov 14, 2018 7:43 am

:lol: :lol:
HOMESTUDYCHURCH.png
HOMESTUDYCHURCH.png (154.32 KiB) Viewed 7934 times
This will probably just end up like FHE. Only a handful of uber TBMs actually do it. And even though they secretly hate it, they will share what a blessing it is during FT, and how our prophet, even Russell M. Nelson, is so inspired to bless us with church home study. barf
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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alas
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Re: Home study church

Post by alas » Wed Nov 14, 2018 9:15 am

I am all in favor of home study church. People will quickly get bored with the correlated stuff and find how interesting and shocking the real history is. Is the church really sure this is what they want their most faithful doing?

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Corsair
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Re: Home study church

Post by Corsair » Wed Nov 14, 2018 10:15 am

This is going to be interesting in the coming year. I have plenty of things I could provide for home study and I am expecting some push back about it not being from the correlated church. I really wonder how the culture is going to evolve over the coming year.

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græy
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Re: Home study church

Post by græy » Wed Nov 14, 2018 10:18 am

My wife has always been an extremely vocal proponent of Monday night FHE. The problem is that I don't get home till ~6pm and by the time dinner is over at ~6:45 our youngest kids are already breaking down and ready for bed. Sometimes we put them straight to bed which I usually try to make happen, but often they are kept up so they can "participate" in FHE.

Once the program does start it is a battle to get the older kids to listen at all, while the younger ones just cry or run around. In the end it usually devolves into tears from at least one camps or the other. I've given up gospel lessons all together; I try and make FHE just be a game night that happens to be started and stopped with a song and prayer. She doesn't consider those FHE.

With the new schedule I've convinced her to move FHE to fill the extra Sunday hour. That way, kids are at least awake and a little less cranky. Monday nights might even be a little bit enjoyable now. Its a very small step in the right direction.
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack

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Red Ryder
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Re: Home study church

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Nov 14, 2018 10:59 am

My wife has already expressed anxiety in regards to the home church time and format. They did a great job of dumping pressure on the mothers to make sure it's done.

One night her mormon hamster wheel was spinning really fast and she laid into me for being such a church slacker at home. I just sat there stunned and listened.

Then I said, "can't you see the problem here isn't with me? This is supposed to be about less formal church, yet the expectations are to add more formalities? Don't you see this is causing you anxiety? The Gospel of Jesus shouldn't create anxiety, it should alleviate it!"

Then I suggested we see how well we adapt to 2 hour church and a longer afternoon nap! If that disrupts our spirituality then I would be happy to play along but I already suspect that my spirituality will automatically increase as a result of one less hour in a Mormon church.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Linked
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Re: Home study church

Post by Linked » Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:53 am

When they were laying on the expectations for doing more at home during GC I talked with DW about enjoying less church and not changing what we do at home. Hopefully she can do so without feeling extra guilt...
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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MerrieMiss
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Re: Home study church

Post by MerrieMiss » Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:57 pm

Sometimes I think how lucky it is I married a very lazy TBM. He has no intention of doing home study personally or with the family and has said as much to anyone who has asked. So I guess we're not doing it at all.

Anon70
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Re: Home study church

Post by Anon70 » Fri Nov 16, 2018 8:36 am

MerrieMiss wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:57 pm
Sometimes I think how lucky it is I married a very lazy TBM. He has no intention of doing home study personally or with the family and has said as much to anyone who has asked. So I guess we're not doing it at all.
Lazy TBM!!

I used to really wish my DH would lead gospel discussions and would make him rotate on FHE lessons etc. but if I didn’t call everyone together for scripture and prayer or fhe, it didn’t happen. Now I’m grateful. I still do love fhe but it’s mostly just fun family time and I love closing our day with family time chat and a prayer. I have always kidn of had a different view of prayer anyway so it works for me. But I know for sure we will not be doing home study because I won’t be doing it. And he’s not made much of a fuss about us backing away from 100% church activity or about me quitting garments or easing away from the WOW.

It’s funny though if I talk about leaving the church he freaks out lol. He’s so active and magnifies his callings so I can’t call him lazy. But it’s the perfect description. Maybe it’s intellectually lazy. I don’t know but those words resonated with me.

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MerrieMiss
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Re: Home study church

Post by MerrieMiss » Fri Nov 16, 2018 10:59 am

Anon70 wrote:
Fri Nov 16, 2018 8:36 am
MerrieMiss wrote:
Thu Nov 15, 2018 3:57 pm
Sometimes I think how lucky it is I married a very lazy TBM. He has no intention of doing home study personally or with the family and has said as much to anyone who has asked. So I guess we're not doing it at all.
Lazy TBM!!

I used to really wish my DH would lead gospel discussions and would make him rotate on FHE lessons etc. but if I didn’t call everyone together for scripture and prayer or fhe, it didn’t happen. Now I’m grateful. I still do love fhe but it’s mostly just fun family time and I love closing our day with family time chat and a prayer. I have always kidn of had a different view of prayer anyway so it works for me. But I know for sure we will not be doing home study because I won’t be doing it. And he’s not made much of a fuss about us backing away from 100% church activity or about me quitting garments or easing away from the WOW.

It’s funny though if I talk about leaving the church he freaks out lol. He’s so active and magnifies his callings so I can’t call him lazy. But it’s the perfect description. Maybe it’s intellectually lazy. I don’t know but those words resonated with me.
I don’t like using the word lazy because it has so many negative connotations, but I’ve come to the conclusion maybe being lazy isn’t always a bad thing.

I use the word lazy because it’s an easy and brief way to state the way things are. He is not a jackmo, he is a TBM, but he does not go above and beyond. He hates reading generally and when he does read, church stuff does not make the cut. He has no interest in church related podcasts or listening to conference, either recorded talks or on conference weekends. He does everything he needs to do to maintain a TR – WoW, garments, church attendance, tithing. In 15 years of marriage I have never seen him read his scriptures – I don’t even know if he knows where they are. He stopped personal prayer several years ago. The only prayers we have in our home is when the kids fight over blessing the macaroni and cheese. He never went to the temple unless I pressured him so it’s been years since he’s gone. He fulfills his calling, but doesn’t go out of his way to magnify it or do anything extra. He never home taught unless he had a companion who set it up. He isn’t on leadership track (although we now live in an urban ward so that could change). I think he cares more about how people judge him/us more than whether it’s what Mormon god really wants. My parents say he’s more like many members were about forty years ago – active but not so pious, zealous, sanctimonious, or absorbed in Mormonism or The Doctrine as a lot of members seem to be anymore. It’s like Mormonism is just the operating system he was born with and he doesn’t think too much about it. This is a long paragraph. It’s easier to just say he’s lazy. Maybe “disinterested TBM” is a better way to put it.

I’ve seen a lot of similarities in your posts. When we first got married and it became evident he was not going to lead our family in righteous scripture study, prayer and FHE I was bothered. I don’t know why I should have been surprised, I’d been taught men were nasty, carnal creatures and women were their spiritual guides to Celestial glory (obviously not the real guides), but it felt like I had an anchor tied to me. Having kids and realizing I was expected to do all that by myself - things I didn’t enjoy or see value in and wasn’t sure I believed - really helped me on the way out.

While I am very grateful my husband is “lazy,” it also makes me a little sad. It’s true I don’t have some patriarchal lord ruling over the family, but he simply doesn’t care enough to research the issues, know that issues exist, and nothing seems to bother him much because he never internalized and thought about Mormonism as much as I did.

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Red Ryder
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Re: Home study church

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Nov 16, 2018 1:02 pm

He's a HAM!

Half Assed Mormon

There were plans to create a HAM discussion board but it was never finished. :lol:

I was him the first 10 years of my marriage. Never went home teaching, never had any significant callings, never wore Mormonism on my sleeve. It was comfortable and the cost (in time) wasn't worth the benefit because frankly there just wasn't a benefit. I clearly saw the 80/20 plan at work. That's where 80% of the church work is done by 20% of the members. It got done even of I didn't fully participate.

I figured I was doing the bare minimum and by the grace and atonement of god I would get into the Celestial Kingdom just because I was a good Mormon boy and didn't drink, smoke, or poke.

I'll admit I was a lazy mormon.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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didyoumythme
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Re: Home study church

Post by didyoumythme » Fri Nov 16, 2018 9:21 pm

alas wrote:
Wed Nov 14, 2018 9:15 am
I am all in favor of home study church. People will quickly get bored with the correlated stuff and find how interesting and shocking the real history is. Is the church really sure this is what they want their most faithful doing?
Do you think people will get over their fears of “anti-Mormon lies” on the internet and click the scary links? I am hopeful too, but the fear mongering is only increasing.
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease being honest, or cease being mistaken. - Anonymous

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alas
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Re: Home study church

Post by alas » Sat Nov 17, 2018 6:59 pm

didyoumythme wrote:
Fri Nov 16, 2018 9:21 pm
alas wrote:
Wed Nov 14, 2018 9:15 am
I am all in favor of home study church. People will quickly get bored with the correlated stuff and find how interesting and shocking the real history is. Is the church really sure this is what they want their most faithful doing?
Do you think people will get over their fears of “anti-Mormon lies” on the internet and click the scary links? I am hopeful too, but the fear mongering is only increasing.
Well, first of all, most wont bother with home study. Second, of those who do home study, many will just use old church lesson books and other correlated materials. But there are always a few who want to add a little to the correlated stuff. All it takes is a bit of research, finding things you never knew, and then getting curious about the real truth.

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John G.
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Re: Home study church

Post by John G. » Thu Nov 22, 2018 5:39 am

I consider my time on this website and the ex-mo reddit site my home-study church. Now that “home study” counts, I’m surprisingly a very active member!
"If your children are taught untruths on evolution in the public schools or even in our Church schools, provide them with a copy of President Joseph Fielding Smith's excellent rebuttal in his book Man, His Origin and Destiny."

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nibbler
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Re: Home study church

Post by nibbler » Thu Nov 22, 2018 6:50 am

MerrieMiss wrote:
Fri Nov 16, 2018 10:59 am
I don’t like using the word lazy because it has so many negative connotations, but I’ve come to the conclusion maybe being lazy isn’t always a bad thing.
With as much that is expected of members of the church there's probably a way to label everyone as "lazy." I know that when I was more orthodox I felt that way no matter how much I was doing, even when doing to the point of breaking.

Is it laziness or is it disinterest? From the perspective of someone that believes that everyone absolutely should be doing [insert activity] because that's what god wants them to do, someone not [insert activitying] will come across as being lazy. From a different perspective it can be simple disinterest. You don't get to say "no thanks" to church programs, you're either faithful and you participate or you don't and you're lazy or half-assed.

Members are only lazy when they let the dominant culture own the perspective. What if the dominant culture emotionally bullied people into watching paint dry on a wall for 3 hours a week? Would people that didn't do it be lazy or is it a simpler case of them wanting to do things with their time that they find more productive, even if they find sitting on the sofa and watching TV to be more productive?

Lazy. It's a label some own so they can feel better about the level of their commitment/loyalty to the church.

Home study. My gut tells me that in church more is always more. More sacrifice. More time. More obedience. The leaders couldn't take an hour away from the block and leave it at that, that would be less, and less is worse. I think there was pressure to hot swap the third hour of church with something else, anything else, because less is worse.

Image

I can already tell that home study is going to be a "thing" during the 2 hour block. We're already talking about it in the same way we talked about home teaching, where there are entire lessons dedicated to guilt and shame people into doing it. People will share what they learned during home study over the pulpit during F&T meetings to signal to their peers that they are dutifully doing home study. It'll be another thing. Still: home study > 3rd hour
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
– Anais Nin

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