Mormon Dessert Gathering

[Arcturus]

My DW and I are going to a dessert this evening where certainly many Mormons in our ward boundary will be. Anticipating the question:

Did you guys move to another ward? Haven’t seen you in a while...

We haven’t been for 6 months because we’re done with the church but not everyone knows that. How do you answer that question where many TBMs are likely to be in ear shot and we generally like these people...??

[Red Ryder]

Don't over think it.

We "unsubscribed" a few months ago.
We became Amish.
We are taking a sabbatical.
Life has been busy.
We became Methodist.
Boy this dessert is tasty!
We joined the movement.
Our garments got lost at the dry cleaners.
The church doesn't fit our spiritual needs anymore.

[Thoughtful]

"We haven't seen you in a while.."


I know! How have you been? How are the kids?

Keep them talking about them.

[2bizE]

Turn the table on them is another way.
Tbm: I haven't seen you in a while.
you: I know. I haven't seen you at church either. Did you stop going and become inactive?

other responses:
- We've decided to home church our kids. With all the crazies in the world...
- I've been struggling to overcome a serious bout of [insert STD] (ie. syphilis, genital herpes, the clap)
- We've taken a break from church to pursue more important goals.
- We have gone and joined a different cult that sucks our time and money.
- You probably heard that I was excommunicated for removing my garments while being intimate with my wife. I really should have listened to her.
- I've been using all my spare time and Sundays to read the BoM, like the prophet has asked. I'm such a slow reader I'll never meet the goal if I also attend church.

[Reuben]

I was offended by some imagined slight, and decided to play it up to get attention.

I'm lazy and wanted to sin, and not attending church killed two birds with one stone. It's also been very healthy for me, so it's more like three birds.

I contracted a deadly case of doubt and didn't want everyone to get it, so I quarantined myself. It's only gotten worse, though, so you'd better *cough* keep your *cough* distance *it's-all-cough-made-up*.

I forgot everything my testimony was based on. Can you remind me whether it was "every fiber of my being" or "every fiber of my bean"? Was the burning in my bosom or in my bottom?

[No Tof]

My guess is that if you just say, no we haven’t, and take another bite of that delicious browny they will move on to another topic or move on physically.

TBMs don’t really want to know.

[Anon70]

"We haven't seen you in a while.."


I know! How have you been? How are the kids?

Keep them talking about them.

This is what I do in every.single.conversation I don’t want to engage in. Works 100% of the time with people I am not close to. The ones I’m close to I don’t have to do this or they push back and we have a relationship that can handle a deeper convo.

[wtfluff]

Haven’t seen you in a while...

Reply: I know! Hasn't it been GREAT???

I wonder how that reply would go over?