Support through the holidays

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Angel
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Support through the holidays

Post by Angel » Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:28 am

Wanted to make a holiday support thread - how is everyone navigating this season? I'm trying to be multi-cultural, will be attending a winter-solstice party, am celebrating Hanukkah with friends this week (Happy Hanukkah!), and also went to our ward's Nativity exhibit - hope to attend a UU service by the end of the season as well.

I don't want to be filled with anger, do not want to be one of those grumpy people through the holidays - want to just open my arms, and embrace it all. The good, the bad, just embrace and dance with all of it.

Wishing all of my NOM friends a wonderful and enlightened holiday season!
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thoughtful
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Thoughtful » Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:39 am

Angel wrote:
Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:28 am
Wanted to make a holiday support thread - how is everyone navigating this season? I'm trying to be multi-cultural, will be attending a winter-solstice party, am celebrating Hanukkah with friends this week (Happy Hanukkah!), and also went to our ward's Nativity exhibit - hope to attend a UU service by the end of the season as well.

I don't want to be filled with anger, do not want to be one of those grumpy people through the holidays - want to just open my arms, and embrace it all. The good, the bad, just embrace and dance with all of it.

Wishing all of my NOM friends a wonderful and enlightened holiday season!
I always have seasonal blues. I did schedule a holiday open house to celebrate a saint from my pre-lds heritage. Putting up the tree today. Thanks for starting this thread.

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Angel
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Angel » Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:56 pm

Thoughtful wrote:
Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:39 am

I always have seasonal blues. I did schedule a holiday open house to celebrate a saint from my pre-lds heritage. Putting up the tree today. Thanks for starting this thread.
The holidays are hard for a lot of people. I have been taking herbal supplements, using happiness guided meditations, sleep hypnosis, and "let it go yoga flow" - google all of the above, whatever works, right? I'm also trying to be outgoing - planning outings, getting together with people - that helps a lot. Hope you are able to find something that works to cheer you up!
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Dravin
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Location: Indiana

Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Dravin » Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:01 pm

I work retail, which has the benefit of making my stress job and not relationship related. Yay?
Hindsight is all well and good... until you trip.

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MoPag
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by MoPag » Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm

What a great idea to make this thread! Thanks Angel!!

Ever since my DS passed away (July of 2017) the holidays are my own personal hell. I have to keep my sh*t together to try and give my DD a happy holiday season, but all I want to do is break down and cry and not get out of bed. I'm really lucky that I have support form my family. I'm also a part of a bereaved mothers group. We get together and share our holiday woes.

One good thing about this year is I don't have to take my daughter to see XH. He has a criminal record now. He was responsible-and unremorseful-for DS's death. DD wants nothing to do with him. I was able to get full possession of her after DS's death. It took a whole year for it go through. So at least there is that.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

Reuben
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Reuben » Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:37 pm

Damn.

That's all I've got.
You were born to trust, not fear. It is your birthright.

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MoPag
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by MoPag » Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:33 am

Sorry If I got a little too real for some people.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Red Ryder
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:06 am

MoPag wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:33 am
Sorry If I got a little too real for some people.
Congrats MoPag! That's good to hear (considering the circumstances)!

Your story is seared in my brain and I'm a constant life guard around the pool now. Even with the older kids. I got extremely mad at my SIL one day after getting home and seeing them sitting inside not paying attention to the kids outside.

So know that your tragedy has impacted other people for the positive even if through the friendship here online at NOM.

Hope you have happy holidays.

Thanks Angel for posting. I'm usually a grump for the holidays but this year I decided to focus on Jesus and let the annoying things slip through my hands.

Happy holidays!
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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MoPag
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by MoPag » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:50 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:06 am

Congrats MoPag! That's good to hear (considering the circumstances)!
Thanks RR!
Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:06 am
Your story is seared in my brain and I'm a constant life guard around the pool now. Even with the older kids. I got extremely mad at my SIL one day after getting home and seeing them sitting inside not paying attention to the kids outside.

So know that your tragedy has impacted other people for the positive even if through the friendship here online at NOM.
I'm glad my story has inspired others to be safer. Thanks again for your support! :)
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

Thoughtful
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Thoughtful » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:04 pm

Angel wrote:
Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:56 pm
Thoughtful wrote:
Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:39 am

I always have seasonal blues. I did schedule a holiday open house to celebrate a saint from my pre-lds heritage. Putting up the tree today. Thanks for starting this thread.
The holidays are hard for a lot of people. I have been taking herbal supplements, using happiness guided meditations, sleep hypnosis, and "let it go yoga flow" - google all of the above, whatever works, right? I'm also trying to be outgoing - planning outings, getting together with people - that helps a lot. Hope you are able to find something that works to cheer you up!
Love the holidays, hate the incessant darkness. But it will end, eventually. <3

Thoughtful
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Thoughtful » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:06 pm

MoPag wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm
What a great idea to make this thread! Thanks Angel!!

Ever since my DS passed away (July of 2017) the holidays are my own personal hell. I have to keep my sh*t together to try and give my DD a happy holiday season, but all I want to do is break down and cry and not get out of bed. I'm really lucky that I have support form my family. I'm also a part of a bereaved mothers group. We get together and share our holiday woes.

One good thing about this year is I don't have to take my daughter to see XH. He has a criminal record now. He was responsible-and unremorseful-for DS's death. DD wants nothing to do with him. I was able to get full possession of her after DS's death. It took a whole year for it go through. So at least there is that.
I'm glad X is out of the picture. I wish I could bring you some hot soup and chilled wine. Keep hanging on.

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Angel
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Angel » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:48 pm

MoPag wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm
What a great idea to make this thread! Thanks Angel!!

Ever since my DS passed away (July of 2017) the holidays are my own personal hell. I have to keep my sh*t together to try and give my DD a happy holiday season, but all I want to do is break down and cry and not get out of bed. I'm really lucky that I have support form my family. I'm also a part of a bereaved mothers group. We get together and share our holiday woes.

One good thing about this year is I don't have to take my daughter to see XH. He has a criminal record now. He was responsible-and unremorseful-for DS's death. DD wants nothing to do with him. I was able to get full possession of her after DS's death. It took a whole year for it go through. So at least there is that.
Big hugs MoPag, good to hear you have a support group.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Angel
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Angel » Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:52 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:06 am

Thanks Angel for posting. I'm usually a grump for the holidays but this year I decided to focus on Jesus and let the annoying things slip through my hands.

Happy holidays!
I can get into the Jesus thing too - the vengeful HF/God thing not so much, but that Jesus guy, sermon on the mount stuff? yea - I can do that.
Happy Holidays to you too!
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Lithium Sunset
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Lithium Sunset » Thu Dec 13, 2018 12:20 pm

MoPag wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm
What a great idea to make this thread! Thanks Angel!!

Ever since my DS passed away (July of 2017) the holidays are my own personal hell. I have to keep my sh*t together to try and give my DD a happy holiday season, but all I want to do is break down and cry and not get out of bed. I'm really lucky that I have support form my family. I'm also a part of a bereaved mothers group. We get together and share our holiday woes.

One good thing about this year is I don't have to take my daughter to see XH. He has a criminal record now. He was responsible-and unremorseful-for DS's death. DD wants nothing to do with him. I was able to get full possession of her after DS's death. It took a whole year for it go through. So at least there is that.
I can’t believe how much time has passed... I am sure it feels like yesterday for you sometimes. I didn’t know the details but RR’s comments spell it out. I am so sorry. I am glad you have custody now and have a support group. I know those things can sometimes be trivial in the middle of the night. But! let’s go forth and conquer and have the best holiday possible- bad hours, bad days, not a bad month or bad Christmas/New Years.
MoPag wrote:
Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:33 am
Sorry If I got a little too real for some people.
Nope, I am sure this is exactly why Angel created the thread. Always happy-go-luck people can hang out elsewhere. I’m kidding of course.
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Random
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Random » Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:51 am

MoPag wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm
the holidays are my own personal hell.
I remember when the accident happened. It still makes me cry.

The first year is always the most difficult (that doesn't mean others are easy. I hope the love and support here as well as that which comes from other places help you make it through).

MoPag wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm
He was responsible-and unremorseful-for DS's death.
cry, smaller.gif
cry, smaller.gif (60.27 KiB) Viewed 388 times
[They] which knew me from the beginning . . . would testify, that after the most straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee.
Acts 26:5

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MoPag
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by MoPag » Fri Dec 21, 2018 4:56 pm

Thanks for all the support guys!!!

I love my NOM family!!!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

Mackman
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Mackman » Sat Dec 22, 2018 3:36 pm

Everyone keep your chin up this holiday season all of us nomies will get through it. I for one do not believe God is this hateful white beard old man that is waiting for us to slip ( like having a cup of coffee) to send us straight to hell forever. God doesnt work like that instead I believe he is all loving and wants to see each of us succeed he is what all of us as normal humans want for our kids if that makes sense. He doesnt exist to screw us over or punish us for not believing in the " one true church" led by a pedophile who had 33 plus wives. If we simply have hope to have faith he exists I believe that is enough and he loves us individually, organized religion is man made and only serves men with power real religion is or own ability to worship God or whatever higher power we have faith in. Merry Christmas . Love my NOM family.

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trophywife26.2
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by trophywife26.2 » Sun Dec 23, 2018 10:24 pm

MoPag wrote:
Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:00 pm
What a great idea to make this thread! Thanks Angel!!

Ever since my DS passed away (July of 2017) the holidays are my own personal hell. I have to keep my sh*t together to try and give my DD a happy holiday season, but all I want to do is break down and cry and not get out of bed. I'm really lucky that I have support form my family. I'm also a part of a bereaved mothers group. We get together and share our holiday woes.

One good thing about this year is I don't have to take my daughter to see XH. He has a criminal record now. He was responsible-and unremorseful-for DS's death. DD wants nothing to do with him. I was able to get full possession of her after DS's death. It took a whole year for it go through. So at least there is that.
I am so glad you have your support group and DD's custody. Thinking of you and your daughter, <3
Even if it's something disappointing, it's still better to know the truth. Because people can deal with disappointment. And once they've done that, they can feel that they have really grown. And that can be such a good feeling. -Fred Rogers

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Lithium Sunset
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Lithium Sunset » Mon Dec 24, 2018 7:45 am

I did something impulsively yesterday... perhaps it was a gift to myself. My body practically did it on its own, I swear.

The boys stopped by all dressed up to drop off their Christmas gifts from dad and then go back out with dad and mistress. I had just been bopping around the house listening to good music so I was happy and happy to see them. Then my oldest son gives me a long sad look as he kisses me good bye.... I get a thought in my head that I am going to look at them in the car. Both the boys backs were to me, she was looking down at her phone, and he was staring point blank at me. I, with a smile on my face, flicked him the bird, and shut the garage door.

In a way a paid dearly for this... haha. My heart raced for hours and I felt like I had just robbed a bank... which is sad and pathetic even if understandable. A couple of friends laughed at the story and so did my mom. No one scolded me or said I was a bad person so I guess all is still right with the world haha. Hopefully the judge agrees if it comes up! In my fantasy land, where I place thoughts I can’t/shouldn’t actually do, he/she would applaud me. Of course I think fantasizing about flicking him off is what got me in this mess! My mind and body synced up haha!

Only one more sleep ‘til Christmas! I am going to brush on the horridness of last week and enjoy today and tomorrow as much as possible.
I’ll just take it hour by hour. Hope everyone stays safe and has a good holiday.
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Hagoth
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Re: Support through the holidays

Post by Hagoth » Tue Dec 25, 2018 9:11 am

You guys are great. I love you all. Merry Christmas, Cthulhumas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Boxing Day, whatever.

I have been asked to say a blessing for our big family Christmas dinner (mostly non-mo in-laws). I think I'll pray to Baby Jesus, like Will Farrell in Talladega Nights.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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