Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

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Red Ryder
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Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:54 am

Long time poster Kishkumen needs our prayers right now at this very moment.

If you all remember he has left the church with his wife and beautiful family.

He's currently watching the Renlund Devotional on YouTube and texting live commentary WHILE AT WORK! He's playing wack-a-mole with church history and jumping out of boats? I don't know what this means but he sounds like he's on drugs or something Satan tempted him with!

Please pray for him!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Corsair
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Corsair » Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:05 am

If I was his ward ministering teacher I would recommend delivering a six pack of something that violates the Word of Wisdom. The fact that Kish has decided on this mad taffy pulling endeavor while still at work is troubling.

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Red Ryder
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:10 am

Corsair wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:05 am
If I was his ward ministering teacher I would recommend delivering a six pack of something that violates the Word of Wisdom. The fact that Kish has decided on this mad taffy pulling endeavor while still at work is troubling.
Have you seen his trunk? You would think his ministering teacher was a Shock Top salesman.

God please bless this fine man who can't leave the church alone. Bless him with further light and knowledge to know that his cage door has been opened and he doth not need to hang around his old rusty Mormon shackles no more!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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2bizE
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by 2bizE » Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:54 am

I have add Kish/Korihor and Misbehaved Woman to the temple roles of local temples. His temporary lapse of mental judgement will be cured likely by today. I paid the upgrade fee for faster miracles. Blessings are on their way. :lol:
~2bizE

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wtfluff
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Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by wtfluff » Mon Jan 14, 2019 12:19 pm

Bored at work...

Watching Renlund re-defines that above sentence in a way that... Well, I'm speechless. :shock:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

Kishkumen
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Kishkumen » Mon Jan 14, 2019 1:12 pm

Image

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MalcolmVillager
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by MalcolmVillager » Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:17 pm

Look away. Dont get whacked. Love you Kish!

My wife sat in bed and ranted about how horrible that talk was. I didnt catch all of it but I have to agree with her. Comedy gold fodder for years to come!

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Corsair
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Corsair » Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:29 am

2bizE wrote:
Mon Jan 14, 2019 11:54 am
I have add Kish/Korihor and Misbehaved Woman to the temple roles of local temples. His temporary lapse of mental judgement will be cured likely by today. I paid the upgrade fee for faster miracles. Blessings are on their way. :lol:
Some enterprising ex-believer needs to open a bar with a "drinking roll". This will be to provide some alcohol fueled thoughts and prayers for poor souls like our dear Kish. I would literally drop by such an establishment on a regular basis to drop off some names whether or not I was consuming some "mild barley drinks" during the visit.

We could add a brief ritual like saying, "I drink this ethanol based goodness for and in behalf of <insert name>, who is Mormon and invite the drunken prayers of those present in behalf of those names that are on the bars of legal distributors of alcohol. Amen."

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Red Ryder
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:42 am

God forbid!!!

Now he wants a tattoo!

Let's help him out with ideas.

✔️A large catholic version of Jesus on the cross?
✔️Masonic symbols integrated with LDS temples?
✔️A large destroying angel with a drawn sword?
✔️Mork and Mindy tribute to Robin Williams?
✔️A Phoenx rising from the ashes of a crumpled temple?
✔️A man in a wheelchair trying to change a flat tire?

Hmmm..... The possibilities are endless like the eternities.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
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Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by wtfluff » Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:51 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:42 am
God forbid!!!

Now he wants a tattoo!

Let's help him out with ideas.
✔️ Tramp-Stamp of favorite temple
✔️ Or favorite prophet!

Image
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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Hagoth
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Hagoth » Tue Jan 15, 2019 12:31 pm

I recommend a full frontal Kolobotomy (surgical removal of the portion of the brain that has been permanently damaged by long term exposure to Mormonism).
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Corsair
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Corsair » Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:01 am

Hagoth wrote:
Tue Jan 15, 2019 12:31 pm
I recommend a full frontal Kolobotomy (surgical removal of the portion of the brain that has been permanently damaged by long term exposure to Mormonism).
I'm pretty sure that Kish is trying to remove it Mormonism by dissolving it in alcohol. He has been spending a lot of time trying to find just the righ brand to remove that LDS guilt.

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Hagoth
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Re: Please pray for Kish! He needs our help.

Post by Hagoth » Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:56 pm

Corsair wrote:
Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:01 am
I'm pretty sure that Kish is trying to remove it Mormonism by dissolving it in alcohol. He has been spending a lot of time trying to find just the righ brand to remove that LDS guilt.
A frontal lobotomy by way of a bottle in front of me?
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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