Starting over (almost)

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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IT_Veteran
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Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 2:36 pm
Location: California

Starting over (almost)

Post by IT_Veteran » Sun Mar 03, 2019 9:49 am

It’s been a few months since I’ve been here. Life got busy. Many of the things that bring church to mind aren’t present in my life anymore. Sometimes I think I’ve mostly gotten over being angry, other times I wonder if I’m just avoiding it. I’ll take it either way at this point.

In 2018, just over a year ago, I told my wife I was done with the church. She pretty quickly started diving into church history and over the course of the summer decided she was done too. My oldest left the church a few months after I did. My four year old simply won’t remember it. Our 14 year old DD is the one we worry about. She’s still (maybe?) believing. DW has a standing agreement with her that anytime she wants to attend church DW will go with her.

It was in that context that I started looking for a new job. We both (DW and I) felt the need for a fresh start. In November I got a job offer in San Diego, about 400 miles from where we were living. We moved down here in January.

It has been a fresh start in every sense. I like the work better. It feels like a clean break from church. DD hasn’t asked to go since we moved down. 18yo DS decides not to move with us, he’s living with roommates and loves his job. We spend more time together as a family. We go do things that we all enjoy. The only two not resigned are my DW and our 14 year old.

Life is better than it was a year ago. But it’s not perfect. We’re trying to figure out how to make friends with people. As in... where to even find people? We’re working on that, but it takes time for sure.

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Hagoth
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Re: Starting over (almost)

Post by Hagoth » Sun Mar 03, 2019 5:50 pm

Great to hear from you, IT_Veteran. I'm so glad things are looking good for you!
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

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jfro18
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Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:41 pm

Re: Starting over (almost)

Post by jfro18 » Sun Mar 03, 2019 6:51 pm

It's always good to hear the stories where families move on from the church together and find their way to something better -- I hope you'll check in from time to time and keep us posted on everything.

San Diego sounds amazing right now... we're not going to be above freezing until Friday here!

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moksha
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Starting over (almost)

Post by moksha » Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:01 pm

A fresh start in the city with the best climate in the US (if you like that sunshine stuff). Congratulations!
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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IT_Veteran
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Joined: Wed Feb 21, 2018 2:36 pm
Location: California

Re: Starting over (almost)

Post by IT_Veteran » Sun Mar 03, 2019 7:30 pm

Thanks all! We really are enjoying the area. I actually went and had lunch with a fellow exmo on Friday - nice to sit down with someone that gets it!

I think we’re all (family) just having to learn where and how to meet friends when we don’t have that instant community.

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crazyhamster
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Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:25 pm

Re: Starting over (almost)

Post by crazyhamster » Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:13 am

Sounds like you're doing great! The friendships will come naturally as you get out and widen your social circles in the new city.

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