Newest update on my brother

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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glass shelf
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by glass shelf » Sun Apr 07, 2019 5:24 am

What an amazing update, Alas. I'm so happy for you. Medical professionals make their best predictions based on their evidence and experiences, but slim probabilities are still possible.

I so glad you all got to hear him talk! Does he have a Passy-Muir Valve? They're amazing. :)

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jfro18
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by jfro18 » Sun Apr 07, 2019 6:11 am

Wow - that's about as good as news and you'll wake up to!

That's great Alas - I hope the recovery continues and that he makes progress every day now that he's awake.

Congrats to your family - no news is going to top that this weekend :D

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MoPag
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by MoPag » Sun Apr 07, 2019 7:17 am

How wonderful!!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by Fifi de la Vergne » Sun Apr 07, 2019 7:50 am

So wonderful to hear this!
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.

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Random
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by Random » Sun Apr 07, 2019 9:25 am

That is so awesome, Alas! We rejoice with you. <3
There are 2 Gods. One who created us. The other you created. The God you made up is just like you-thrives on flattery-makes you live in fear.

Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK

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MerrieMiss
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by MerrieMiss » Sun Apr 07, 2019 9:33 am

Such wonderful news!

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wtfluff
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Re: Update. Need to vent, has nothing to do with Mormonism

Post by wtfluff » Sun Apr 07, 2019 2:26 pm

Image
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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alas
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by alas » Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:07 pm

Well, the latest update is not as good as the last one was.


He never got so he had any motor control. He couldn’t even open his eyes by himself, but someone would pry his eyes open so he could see who was visiting. I just hated them opening up his eyes like that. I hated seeing him so helpless. The doctors put in a voice thing so that he could talk with the tracheotomy. He could barely be understood, but he could say the names of whoever was there and tell people he loved them. There were still times he was completely unresponsive, so he was in and out of the coma. And never could control his breathing well enough for the tracheotomy to come out. He was in a lot of pain, and there were complications that had him in and out of surgery. And the stupid nursing home that ignores instructions not to put whey based formula in his feeding tube, that had him throwing up over and over, tearing out the stitches around the feeding tube. It was a nightmare.

But then a week ago, he started doing worse. He just was not responding as well and one morning his wife opened up his eye, and when he didn’t respond like he could see her, she tried his other eye and the pupils were different sizes. She mentioned it to the doctors and they ran some tests. His brain was swelling and pockets of water were forming at the injury sites. The doctor said he needed more surgery, to relive the pressure. After more tests to pin point the location of the water pockets, they said there were just too many pockets in too many locations. So, no way he could survive that much surgery. They put him on hospice and took out the feeding tube.

He died a few days ago.



......I sure hate Mormon funerals. I gotta go buy a dress because I can’t wear the same one I wore to both my parent’s funerals and my in law’s funerals. That old dress shows up in too many photos already and is even in some of the photos of family that will be displayed at the funeral. But one tradition I like, the fact that they ask men to say the prayers. So, I get to sit in the audience.

If my children give me a Mormon funeral, I will come back and haunt them.

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jfro18
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by jfro18 » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:13 pm

I'm so sorry alas - that's horrible news especially given the optimistic updates.

You've been such a great help to me and others here and I wish I had as good of words to give you as you do for us, but we're all thinking of you and sending every last bit of positive vibes your way.

If you ever need anything, just pm me anytime!

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MoPag
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by MoPag » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:16 pm

(((hugs)))
hugs4alas.png
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Just wear dress pants. The sister missionaries do it. :)
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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græy
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by græy » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:43 pm

alas, I am so sorry!

As jfro said, I feel like you've given so much to this community, I wish there was something I could actually do to give back to you.

For what it's worth, we're with you as much as we can be!
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack

Wonderment
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by Wonderment » Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:53 pm

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. Sending deepest condolences, hugs, and thoughts to you at this very sad time. - Wndr.

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wtfluff
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by wtfluff » Tue Jul 30, 2019 10:09 pm

Condolences and hugs alas.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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Red Ryder
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jul 31, 2019 1:30 am

Internet Hugs!!

Can we pitch in and buy you a dress?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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glass shelf
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by glass shelf » Wed Jul 31, 2019 3:06 am

I'm sorry for your loss, Alas.

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Linked
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by Linked » Wed Jul 31, 2019 11:58 am

I'm so sorry to hear it. Hang in there with the mormon funeral, we are all cheering for you.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by Fifi de la Vergne » Wed Jul 31, 2019 12:00 pm

I am so sorry for your loss.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.

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Random
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by Random » Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:12 pm

That's so sad, alas. My condolences. ((hugs))
There are 2 Gods. One who created us. The other you created. The God you made up is just like you-thrives on flattery-makes you live in fear.

Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK

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2bizE
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by 2bizE » Wed Jul 31, 2019 8:11 pm

So sorry Alas.
Sending you an electronic hug and a batch of cookies with milk. May you find comfort in the good life your brother has lived.
~2bizE

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alas
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Re: Newest update on my brother

Post by alas » Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:16 pm

Thank you everyone. It really does help. I have been thinking, and he is better off now than trapped in a body he can’t control that is just full of pain.

He did have a good life, in spite of the first catastrophic brain injury. He has four step children that love him, two biological children, 30 odd foster children, and four of those foster children are adopted. Of course that many children come with challenges, especially the fosters and adopted who came from abusive situations, but he loved them and they love him.

I couldn’t find a dress that I could stand. Everything showed too much skin for a funeral. My DH kept saying “pants suit”. And “why buy a dress you will only wear to funerals, so it is out of style by the next funeral anyway?” He won. My very TBM SIL will be horrified. :twisted:

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