Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

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Blashyrkh
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Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Blashyrkh » Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:27 pm

Sorry but I need to vent. I just got the bill for my 17-year-old day in the ER after a D.O. Lets just say that it's a lot. Birth dad isn't interested in helping. So with this new bill we pretty mich drain our savings. I finally told my wife that we are no longer sending $600 a month to a multi-billion dollar corporation. If she wants to pay on her check then thats fine but am not going to end up living paycheck to paycheck, selling my stuff to make the mortgage in the hopes that the sky god from Kolob will make up the difference. Screw their billion dollar mall.

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MalcolmVillager
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by MalcolmVillager » Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:02 pm

Boundaries! That has to feel good!

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slk
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by slk » Sat Mar 09, 2019 8:14 pm

Hope your DW handles it well. Yeah, you need to go off of her income only and let her know that's the only way those bills are getting paid. Hopefully it'll stick after that.

My wife only pays tithing if close family members decide to get married in the temple. Luckily we haven't had that happen in a while.

Thoughtful
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Thoughtful » Sat Mar 09, 2019 8:37 pm

Blashyrkh wrote:
Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:27 pm
Sorry but I need to vent. I just got the bill for my 17-year-old day in the ER after a D.O. Lets just say that it's a lot. Birth dad isn't interested in helping. So with this new bill we pretty mich drain our savings. I finally told my wife that we are no longer sending $600 a month to a multi-billion dollar corporation. If she wants to pay on her check then thats fine but am not going to end up living paycheck to paycheck, selling my stuff to make the mortgage in the hopes that the sky god from Kolob will make up the difference. Screw their billion dollar mall.
Good for you. I hope your 17yo is ok.

Wonderment
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Wonderment » Sat Mar 09, 2019 9:33 pm

Excellent decision. Hope your 17 yr old is okay. Keep setting those boundaries. Stand your ground. -- Wndr.

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moksha
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by moksha » Sun Mar 10, 2019 1:28 am

God will not hold your lack of payment against you, but the Church might.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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redjay
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by redjay » Sun Mar 10, 2019 4:12 am

Would tithing on surplus be a compromise? I can understand why you would not want to give one red cent. My TBM/NOM (at the time) DW agreed that tithing in surplus would be a compromise after I showed her some quotations from LDS org and some writing on the subject.
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.

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Hagoth
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Hagoth » Sun Mar 10, 2019 9:06 am

But what about all of the blessings you'll be missing out on?
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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jfro18
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by jfro18 » Sun Mar 10, 2019 10:01 am

The year I stopped going to church I stopped paying tithing on my end - DW pays more than 10% on hers... not by a ton but she definitely rounds up righteously.

Years after I stopped paying tithing I quit my job to start working on my own. Now if you believe that tithing gives you blessings, then surely my small business should've failed miserably... yet it's still going without any curses on me for walking away from the one true and living church.

Tithing is stupid -- especially when they have turned it into a righteousness meter when people pay on surplus vs net vs whatever. The Mormon pissing contests are so obnoxious.

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Newme
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Newme » Sun Mar 10, 2019 12:58 pm

Join the significantly free-er club!
However, it might come with other costs. This tithing issue was one thing I told DH we had to stop - so we compromised & send tithes to those in need & raise our kids going to church. Then, when DH realized I was no longer considered temple-worthy, he threatened divorce. Just a heads up possibility.

As mentioned, the church unethically charges for worthiness - and on top of that “priestcraft” they charge based on their own philosophy (income) rather than as scripture states it’s supposed to be based - on increase. Financial corruption (which contribute to debt, bankruptcy, poverty and related suffering) is undeniable. Consider this example:
  • 2 men earn the exact same income amount.
    1 man is the sole provider of a family of 7 and after paying bills has no increase left.
    2nd man lives with his parents who pay all his bills, so all of his income is increase.
    Yet, the church demand$ the $ame amount from each man - thereby causing the 1st family to be poor. Christ was about alleviating poverty and suffering - not causing more.
Deuteronomy 14:28-29 (conveniently ignored in lds curriculums) states that tithing collectors are to give at least 1/3 of TITHES to those in need. Christ asked those who can, to give much more.

While we are often pressured and shamed into giving “honest tithes,” church leaders keep money dark and secret, though Oaks did admit no tithes go to the poor. Funds intended for the poor go to the corporate empire of mormon leaders and we have no clue or say in how it’s spent. We do know the church had some elaborate malls built, and a list of greedy wordly companies using the name of Jesus Christ in vain. Meanwhile, about 1,000,000,000 of our brothers and sisters are starving.

Grand ribon-cutting opening by for another mall (3 now) built using the name of Jesus Christ...
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Even if you designated fast offerings - the church leaders now say it’s their money and they can use it as they want...

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Sun Mar 10, 2019 1:27 pm

At first I convinced the wife that surplus tithing was the way to go but eventually my disgust led to saying I would no longer pay. She continues to pay "her" tithing on half our previous surplus amount which is pretty arbitrary anyway. We do anonymous bill pay to SLC. She has no income so it's still me paying, but much less, so a successful compromise. She gets to tell the bishop full tithe and get a recommend and I keep my half for other things.

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slk
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by slk » Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:41 pm

FiveFinger, apparently they've kept that option when paying to SLC to keep the amount anonymous? If for some reason I ever did go back and needed a TR, I'd pay on surplus and direct to SL.

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:49 pm


slk wrote:FiveFinger, apparently they've kept that option when paying to SLC to keep the amount anonymous? If for some reason I ever did go back and needed a TR, I'd pay on surplus and direct to SL.
I set mine up a long time ago (maybe 5-6 years ago) and at the time they honored the request not to send the info back to the local unit. I checked a few years ago with the clerk and it still shows zero on the report. I believe the intent of the method and reason for anonymous donations was to allow very wealthy donors to make large sum donations without divulging it to local unit leaders. Recent rumors have said they don't honor that request now but it is worth a try. I don't see why they wouldn't provide a mechanism to protect large donors these days. Perhaps if you frame it that way in your setup request they will grant it, even though the true intent is to protect your small donations. Image

Anon70
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Re: Blew up with DW

Post by Anon70 » Sun Mar 10, 2019 9:45 pm

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote:
Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:49 pm
slk wrote:FiveFinger, apparently they've kept that option when paying to SLC to keep the amount anonymous? If for some reason I ever did go back and needed a TR, I'd pay on surplus and direct to SL.
I set mine up a long time ago (maybe 5-6 years ago) and at the time they honored the request not to send the info back to the local unit. I checked a few years ago with the clerk and it still shows zero on the report. I believe the intent of the method and reason for anonymous donations was to allow very wealthy donors to make large sum donations without divulging it to local unit leaders. Recent rumors have said they don't honor that request now but it is worth a try. I don't see why they wouldn't provide a mechanism to protect large donors these days. Perhaps if you frame it that way in your setup request they will grant it, even though the true intent is to protect your small donations. Image
I confirmed this year that it’s still anonymous. But it’s the church (whoever answered my email at donations@lds.whatever) who confirmed it so I’m hopeful but won’t be surprised if they lied.

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Just This Guy
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Just This Guy » Mon Mar 11, 2019 4:47 am

It is possible that SLC reports a basic, "Yes a payment was received" or "No, a payment was not received." with no mention of the amount. If that was the case, you could check it by donating $1 and then talking to your clerk to see if that shows up.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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RubinHighlander
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by RubinHighlander » Mon Mar 11, 2019 10:21 am

Hagoth wrote:
Sun Mar 10, 2019 9:06 am
But what about all of the blessings you'll be missing out on?
I know Hagoth wrote that tongue in cheek, but I can testify that when I stopped paying tithing my financial situation improved and the blessings kept rolling in...er rather, life just went on and nothing changed. In fact, my former bishop's house behind me burned down in the wild fire a couple of years ago and our house was undamaged. Probability of good and bad is completely unaffected by paying a full tithe, part tithe or no tithe, but one thing is for sure, you'll have more money in your pocket!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
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SoJo
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by SoJo » Mon Mar 11, 2019 2:26 pm

RubinHighlander wrote:
Mon Mar 11, 2019 10:21 am
Hagoth wrote:
Sun Mar 10, 2019 9:06 am
But what about all of the blessings you'll be missing out on?
I know Hagoth wrote that tongue in cheek, but I can testify that when I stopped paying tithing my financial situation improved and the blessings kept rolling in...er rather, life just went on and nothing changed. In fact, my former bishop's house behind me burned down in the wild fire a couple of years ago and our house was undamaged. Probability of good and bad is completely unaffected by paying a full tithe, part tithe or no tithe, but one thing is for sure, you'll have more money in your pocket!
Same. Since we left; DW's business(es) have been booming, I got a new job, then another better one, multiple promotions and raises. DS's business is thriving, DD is graduating from college in May. Life is good and the universe is taking care of my little fam!

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Random
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Re: Blew up with DW "No more Tithing!"

Post by Random » Wed Mar 13, 2019 8:38 pm

Blashyrkh wrote:
Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:27 pm
Sorry but I need to vent. I just got the bill for my 17-year-old day in the ER after a D.O. Lets just say that it's a lot. Birth dad isn't interested in helping. So with this new bill we pretty mich drain our savings. I finally told my wife that we are no longer sending $600 a month to a multi-billion dollar corporation. If she wants to pay on her check then thats fine but am not going to end up living paycheck to paycheck, selling my stuff to make the mortgage in the hopes that the sky god from Kolob will make up the difference. Screw their billion dollar mall.
I don't blame you.

This sounds like a good compromise to me. I hope it works for both of you.
[They] which knew me from the beginning . . . would testify, that after the most straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee.
Acts 26:5

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