NOM

Do you tell people you know in real life about NOM?

It ends up my progressive sister-in-law is having a faith crisis. She’s pretty much a non-believer in Mormonism at this point. She says she feels alone and belongs to a post Mormon facebook group for support. I’m reluctant to tell her about NOM because it’s my personal safe space. I’m under no illusion that my identity is secret here, but it’s nice to have a place where I can say what I want and not worry about offending a friend or a family member. I know someone on NOM – we connected on PM last year and I felt really weird afterward, like I was really exposed. I’ve also noticed that person stopped posting, although I think they’ve moved on in their journey, so it probably isn’t that they feel weird about me. While it was kind of fun to find someone I knew it was also kind of sad and I wonder if that’s why I’m reluctant to tell my sister-in-law.

I know NOM isn’t for everyone. I just wonder if anyone has ever suggested it to someone else in real life.

I was told about NOM by a family member, so I am appreciative of that because I find NOM to be a *much* better outlet than reddit would be.

That said, I would never tell DW about NOM because I do feel like it's a safe space for me to vent. If it were another family member though I'd probably tell them because I'm not ashamed for what I post here even if it does leave me vulnerable sometimes.

That's a tough call... I would definitely have reservations about telling a sibling so I totally get where you are coming from. I'd say you could send her to mormondiscussions.com but that's from my limited experience a little more jarring than here.

Yup, my older bro is an active participant and the other one ended up liking reddit more. I am the first of my brothers to question the narrative and bring up the uncomfortable topics so if it turns out to be true I'm pretty screwed. Ironically they are much more free from the grasp of the church than I ever will be on account of spousal/child circumstances.

I have said too much about my family- wouldn't want them reading my take downs of their behavior.

But I have shared about NOM to friends. So far, none have joined. I need to up my NOM-ward missionary skills!

crossmyheart wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:57 pm

I need to up my NOM-ward missionary skills!

Love it^^^

I've told my post-mo sister about NOM. I wish she'd join. She is hella funny!! But she has a super demanding career. Maybe if I fast and pray hard enough.....

In an effort for transparency I told my DW about it and told her she could read my posts, but she has shown no interest yet. Maybe she reads them in private.

I did tell a friend who was going thru a faith transition away from mormonism and he posted once. I was really surprised by the panicky feelings I had as I realized all the extremely personal stuff I had shared previously was now known by a close friend. I was less open in my posts for a few weeks, but have since gotten over it. I don't know how it would be if he were a regular poster. It will change what NOM is for you at least briefly.

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:25 pm

Yup, my older bro is an active participant and the other one ended up liking reddit more.

Wait a minute? Really? Now I'm trying to think who? Corsair? Rubinhighlander? MoPag?

My brother posted off and on about a year or so ago when he was in the final stages of his exit. He emailed the family and dropped the mic and hasn't really needed an online community for support like nice enjoyed.

My wife has a really good friend in our ward going through a faith crisis. I know she reads the bloggernacle and shares stuff with my wife because every time they go hiking I hear some of the latest rumors like the recent word of wisdom reversal rumor.

Not sure if you are on here neighbor lady? If so, hello!

Should we put up a billboard off the freeway?

Red Ryder wrote:

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:25 pm

Yup, my older bro is an active participant and the other one ended up liking reddit more.

Wait a minute? Really? Now I'm trying to think who? Corsair? Rubinhighlander? MoPag?

One of these is correct but I think MoPag is a sister if I'm not mistaken.

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:55 pm

Red Ryder wrote:

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:25 pm

Yup, my older bro is an active participant and the other one ended up liking reddit more.

Wait a minute? Really? Now I'm trying to think who? Corsair? Rubinhighlander? MoPag?

One of these is correct but I think MoPag is a sister if I'm not mistaken.

Yup! I just threw her in the guess to eliminate one like guessing Colonel Mustard, the Pipe, and the Living Room when I have the good old Colonel in my possession.

I had no idea you guys were brothers! That's awesome.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:00 pm

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:55 pm

Red Ryder wrote: Wait a minute? Really? Now I'm trying to think who? Corsair? Rubinhighlander? MoPag?

One of these is correct but I think MoPag is a sister if I'm not mistaken.

Yup! I just threw her in the guess to eliminate one like guessing Colonel Mustard, the Pipe, and the Living Room when I have the good old Colonel in my possession.

I had no idea you guys were brothers! That's awesome.

We the brothers that are free very much appreciate brother Mnemonic's blazing the way and we empathize deeply with his plight! I have several other friends to thank for sharing their testimonies with me, but none are on NOM. I have invited a few I know who are now in the midst of the struggle, but they also tend to frequent redit. I read through exmoredit once a week or so, but have only posted there a couple of times. This feels more like a great family ward vs. a general exmo conference.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about NOM.

My parents posted on reddit after they ended up leaving the church. No idea if they still do or not.

My quasi-believing wife knows about my NOM habits. Other than that... no. I haven't told anyone. I keep NOM a secret IRL. It's almost like I'm living a double life. I'm very active in Church. I go every Sunday. I pay tithing. I've taught Primary for 5 years. I went to the temple recently because my Mom wanted me to and so I could see the new movie. But I haven't had a traditional testimony since 2012. It's OK though. I'm at peace with my "double life." God knows my heart. He knows the situation I'm in.

So I can honestly say that I am at peace with being dishonest.

I've been trying to get DW to come on here for a couple years now. She will read stuff here once in a while, but so far I can't talk her in to joining and posting. She just doesn't do these style of forums in general, regardless of topic.

Red Ryder wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 4:00 pm

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:55 pm

Red Ryder wrote: Wait a minute? Really? Now I'm trying to think who? Corsair? Rubinhighlander? MoPag?

One of these is correct but I think MoPag is a sister if I'm not mistaken.

Yup! I just threw her in the guess to eliminate one like guessing Colonel Mustard, the Pipe, and the Living Room when I have the good old Colonel in my possession.

I had no idea you guys were brothers! That's awesome.

I'm reminded of Elder Corbridge cautioning us about seeking truth by the process of elimination. Stick to the Spirit folks. BTW, I've told a couple of people about NOM. I haven't seen either of them sign on though. I need to work on my commitment skills.

I’ve told nobody and kept it a secret. If I did they would ask my NOM name. I would have to crest another one to tell them, less they read the crap I’ve written over the years and think very unhighly of me.
Now that I think about it, I think I will create a newer, nicer persona just in case someone catches on. I can then have them sic their dogs on the new, fake me.

I might find all the secrecy exciting if I knew there would be an end to it.

Anyway, I've invited people from Reddit, but that's it. Nobody from real life.

Would it be fair to say that most Mormons with doubts keep those doubts to themselves so that we never really know who would benefit from NOM?

I’ve told some European (more open minded) members who kind of went to the wild side and were beating themselves up for it. But I don’t think they’re ready for it yet.

moksha wrote: ↑

Fri Mar 29, 2019 11:28 am

Would it be fair to say that most Mormons with doubts keep those doubts to themselves so that we never really know who would benefit from NOM?

Yeah, deep down everyone’s a NOM - they just haven’t realized it.
But we know - they have that little glow about them.