my attempt to process, help, and share

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

So I have decided to blog about my journey, faith transformation, and thoughts where I am now. I would love to hear what you all think.

http://logicalmormon.com/

-Lost

[Red Ryder]

Love it.

Especially this part:

In the end, I’ve realized that this is an ongoing process. It is not about a place of arrival, but rather about the journey and the knowledge and insight gained therein. I have found a place in the church for some of the good things that it brings, but I am perfectly able and willing to ignore the aspects that do not bring value or betterment to my life.

Ten years ago I would have been petrified by the idea of standing before a judgement bar for fear of all the things that I had perhaps done wrong. For the times that I didn’t follow the guidance of the prophet, or even my bishop. Today, I have a deeper appreciation of the concept of agency. I mess up, make mistakes, and learn every single day. But I have no fear at all of standing before any judgement bar, made up of any kind of membership from the vulgar to the divine.

I can happily report why I have made the decisions that I have made and taken the actions I have taken. Because they are my own. Based on the best evidence and data I can find. I am happy to change in the face of new evidence or new knowledge. I know that I can….I have done so before.

[Corsair]

This is a great narrative and I suspect that full believers will simply not comprehend it. A standard testimony of the LDS church is the goal and destination. You are trying to move beyond a simple faith into "something else" and it is not comprehended by correlated Sunday School material. As a result, it looks like low grade heresy.

But it's the right way forward even if few of your ward members would understand it. Good luck as you navigate forward.

[Mormorrisey]

This is a great narrative and I suspect that full believers will simply not comprehend it. A standard testimony of the LDS church is the goal and destination. You are trying to move beyond a simple faith into "something else" and it is not comprehended by correlated Sunday School material. As a result, it looks like low grade heresy.

But it's the right way forward even if few of your ward members would understand it. Good luck as you navigate forward.

I'm afraid this is correct, and even the rabid exmo crowd would not be in complete agreement either of what you have written. But it was a great read, and was reflective of many of our experiences too. Reading your blog would be an excellent soft landing spot for people in a faith crisis. Great read!

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

Thanks all

[jfro18]

I like it! I agree that it will be too much for TBMs to take in and maybe more recent exmos think you're being too kind, but I thought it was well done and I thought it was (as crazy as this sounds) logical and honest.

Hope you keep it up as you go!

[misterfake371]

Careful. Blogging might lead to church discipline. True Story: In 2012, I wrote controversially about polygamy on my personal blog while I was going through a faith crisis. I basically tried to show that the polygamous sealings done in our temples were invalid, and that leaders didn't have the keys they claimed to have. I told my bishop about the blog, and he told the stake president about the blog.

My stake president read the blog, called me into his office, and then, after some friendly chitchat, told me to delete all the stuff about the church on my blog or else I'd get tried for apostasy. He told me that if I got excommunicated and that if I wanted to get rebaptized someday, I would have to get First Presidency approval for re-baptism. So... I had a big choice to make. What did I do? I gave in. I deleted the stuff about the Church on my blog to avoid a church trial. Maybe that was a cowardly move on my part, but... it's a long story, but, yeah... I just decided that I didn't want to fight the church. I didn't want to damage my relationships with my wife and family and community and etc. I loved the Church. I still love the Church. The Church gave me my loving parents and the Church gave me a testimony of God that still lives in my heart today. The Church gave me a body free of addiction to harmful drugs, because the Church taught me the Word of Wisdom. The Church gave me so many good things. So I didn't want to fight the church, and I still don't want to fight the Church. I want to be a cafeteria Mormon. I don't see what's so wrong with that.

We live in a world where injustice runs rampant. I guess my attitude is, "there are bigger fish to fry." I don't want to spend my precious time and resources fighting the Church. I would rather fight Nazis, Communists, hate, and etc.

Anyway... would you be OK with your church leaders reading your blog?

[moksha]

Anyway... would you be OK with your church leaders reading your blog?

I would rather my church leaders be okay with my having different ideas.

[jfro18]

Anyway... would you be OK with your church leaders reading your blog?

One of the most frustrating thing about finding all of the info out about the church is the fear of being able to talk openly about it.

I would *love* for church leaders to read the site I've been putting together and call me about it, but I can't put my name on it due to DW still being a believer. If I put my name on it and her family sees it... woo boy.

And there are so many people like that - they have doubts or have mentally left, but the fear of actually telling people forces us to stay quiet and in many cases keep attending church as if everything is OK. That is not what a healthy organization cultivates.

[2bizE]

Great blog.

[Hagoth]

I loved the Church. I still love the Church. The Church gave me my loving parents and the Church gave me a testimony of God that still lives in my heart today. The Church gave me a body free of addiction to harmful drugs, because the Church taught me the Word of Wisdom.

Don't be afraid to give yourself, your parents, and nature/God some credit for those. The church is just another delivery system for things that come from us, good and bad.

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

We live in a world where injustice runs rampant. I guess my attitude is, "there are bigger fish to fry." I don't want to spend my precious time and resources fighting the Church. I would rather fight Nazis, Communists, hate, and etc.

Anyway... would you be OK with your church leaders reading your blog?

These are good points Misterfake, and I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences. I agree with you that there is a lot of good that comes from church associations and some of the principles taught. I don't see it so much as "fighting the church" as being honest in our dealings with others. A logical individual sees both the good and the bad and weighs those considerations before making a decision. Pizza tastes yummy and has a lot of calories. A wise individual recognizes that both statements are true. This blog is just a way to talk through that process. I went from 100% in, to angry, to a place of peace.

There is indeed a lot of injustice, and there are likely bigger fish as well. I just don't see this as a fight so much as a shared experience and I don't think that doing so precludes spending energy on those other areas.

-lost

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

Anyway... would you be OK with your church leaders reading your blog?

One of the most frustrating thing about finding all of the info out about the church is the fear of being able to talk openly about it.

I would *love* for church leaders to read the site I've been putting together and call me about it, but I can't put my name on it due to DW still being a believer. If I put my name on it and her family sees it... woo boy.

And there are so many people like that - they have doubts or have mentally left, but the fear of actually telling people forces us to stay quiet and in many cases keep attending church as if everything is OK. That is not what a healthy organization cultivates.

Completely agree. If there are a couple of things that I really believe that I learned at church it is the following:
1. Agency is a really big deal. It means making decisions based on the best evidence you have, and then being accountable for your actions in accordance with those decisions. I am at peace with that.

2. Honesty is important. Do what is right let the consequences follow. There isn't anything in the blog that I haven't considered, or that I don't believe to be true. If church leaders have better evidence than that which I have found and considered, then I would love to hear it.

In short, by all means, I'm happy for them to read what I wrote...why would I not be?

-Lost

[Red Ryder]

We need to stop being afraid and fearful.

The church continues to lose the ability to control the narrative. Writing a blog shouldn't be grounds for excommunication. If it is, then members should reevaluate their organization.

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

We need to stop being afraid and fearful.

The church continues to lose the ability to control the narrative. Writing a blog shouldn't be grounds for excommunication. If it is, then members should reevaluate their organization.

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner.


The new one is up as well.

http://logicalmormon.com

-lost

[BriansThoughtMirror]

I'm really enjoying your blog! Please keep posting!

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

Fantastic writing. Your treatise on types of miracles was quite enjoyable.