The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

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achilles
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The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

Post by achilles » Sun Apr 07, 2019 1:08 pm

The following is a post that I really wish I had the cojones to post on Facebook in response to Thursday's surprise revocation of the Policy of Exclusion:

This post is about some “inside baseball” stuff about the LDS Church. I apologize to my friends who are not involved—maybe this will be of interest to you anyway…

The LDS Church has a strained relationship with its LGBT membership. Throughout the 20th century, it treated them in harsh ways, refused to be empathetic to their situation, attempted to purge them from BYU, to excommunicate them, tried to shock their gayness out of them, encouraged them to “pray away the gay”, promised them that God would change them if they merely served a mission, or married heterosexually. It pursued aggressive individual and group cognitive/behavioral therapy through its official therapists at LDS Social Services and partnered with an unofficial organization that strove to do the same. It begrudgingly began to change its belief that people chose to be LGBT, and began to see that it is a “complex reality” for them, but refused to look into that reality and merely interpreted it as some kind of Abrahamic test they had to face—to choose to be single and celibate throughout life (mostly with minimal support from the leaders and members who demanded this of them). BTW, I have references for every single one of these things, if anyone doubts them.

The landmark 2015 decision by the US Supreme Court in Obergefell v. Hodges held that same-sex couples had a fundamental right to marry protected by the Due Process clause of the Bill of Rights, and that states could not ban same-sex marriage or refuse to recognize such marriages from other jurisdictions. It was a pivotal moment for LGBT right in the United States. Within months, the LDS Church enacted one of the harshest policies it has ever produced: that couples in same-sex marriages would be considered “apostates”, and that their children were no longer eligible for the rites of the Church, including naming and blessing, baptism, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, priesthood ordination, temple ordinances, etc. It did this in violation of its own doctrine that individuals are responsible and punished for their own sins, and not the sins of their fathers. And perhaps most egregiously, in violation of Christ’s injunction to “suffer the little children to come unto” him, and “forbid them not.” Not to mention the continuation to classify same-sex relations as a much more grievous sin than heterosexual fornication and adultery, and punishing the audacity to commit to one other person and seek to form a family (which the Church has consistently taught is one of the most important things a person can do in mortal life).

Many people were initially stunned and then subsequently revolted by this November 5th 2015 Policy. Faithful members and leaders attempted to come up with justifications for what they knew in their hearts was wrong. Others saw it as a sign that the leadership of the LDS Church was not inspired, and did not represent Jesus Christ anymore. They faded into inactivity, or had their names removed from the membership rolls of the Church. Many LGBT members felt betrayed and got the message that neither they nor their children were wanted. It was a bitter time.

LGBT folks want to fall in love, hold hands, kiss, and snuggle with special people in their lives. And they want to commit and marry (and yes, even have sex). They want companionship. They want family. They want children. They want to build a life together. All of these things are a normal part of the human experience. Indeed, they are a very important and special part of what it means to be a human, to live life. When we exclude them from having these experiences, we are damaging them and granting them a much lower quality of life. The Mormon concept of marriage and family may be ideal (and this is debatable), but by definition it is not attainable for them. I believe that they deserve to have these very universal relationships in their lives in whatever way they can get them. And if they decide to have them in spite of what others may think about it, they are empowering themselves to choose these relationships and seek the happiness that the rest of us seek in marriage and family.

The Book of Mormon teaches that “men are that they might have joy”. It also teaches that a “ye shall know them by their fruits”, “Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” This policy brought forth bitter fruit. Members resigned their calling and left. LGBT members who were barely holding on faded away. Custody arrangements between mixed-orientation divorces suddenly became less amicable, as the exclusion policy would affect children who spent 51% or more of their time with the same-sex married parent. LGBT youth and adults began to get the message that this life was no longer meant to include the joy of love and marriage, but to trudge forward until death when all would be miraculously made right. More than a handful chose to end their lives because they could not see a way forward for themselves in the LDS worldview and could not imagine any other way of living.

Was this policy “revelation” from God as Elder Nelson claimed?” Was it a petty and vindictive move in response to changing acceptance of LGBT individuals and families? Was it just plain ugly behavior by people who had the power to make policy for the Church and saw the time to strike? Or was it truly an act of “compassion” as argued by Elder Christofferson, an act to strengthen LGBT families by keeping them and their children away from teachings of the Church that might damage their relationships? We may never know. But I think what we do know is that the policy had bitter consequences, and I don’t know of anybody who was positively impacted by it (except for maybe bigots?).

The reversal of this policy is certainly a good thing. But it also brings up some terrible implications. Can we trust revelation received by these men? Are they truly representatives of Jesus Christ? Did Christ suddenly consider same-sex married couples to be “apostates”, one of the worst epithets that can be uttered by a devoted believer? Did He then change His mind after three and a half years of a policy that violated the core of many of His teachings, to suddenly open His arms in acceptance to these children and their wayward parents? Are LGBT folks just better off finding Christ in some other way, through some other organization?
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

― Carl Sagan

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Hermey
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Re: The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

Post by Hermey » Sun Apr 07, 2019 3:46 pm

It's an excellent post. Make it.

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Ghost
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Re: The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

Post by Ghost » Sun Apr 07, 2019 9:24 pm

This is a very good summary. Thanks for sharing it.

Reuben
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Re: The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

Post by Reuben » Mon Apr 08, 2019 9:03 am

Remove "(and this is debatable)" and "(except for maybe bigots?)" and then post the hell out of it if you can.
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.

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MoPag
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Re: The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

Post by MoPag » Mon Apr 08, 2019 9:27 am

That was powerful!

((Hugs)) to you!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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RubinHighlander
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Re: The Facebook Post About the POX I Wish I Could Make

Post by RubinHighlander » Mon Apr 08, 2019 10:23 am

Nice! Before jumping into the Feds legalizing and hammering Utah into submission, I would add to this the way the church handled the proposition in California, forcing members to rally and vote, dictated from their local pulpits; at the same time telling members to vote their conscience.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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