NOM

When my hand was forced, I made a video, posted it to YouTube and sent the link to my parents and sibs. I anticipated too much freak out in a live conversation interfering with my saying what needed to be said. Ultimately, I think it worked. It's still up. If anyone wants a link, let me know.

My being out will be complete this weekend as I sit out my kids baptism and allow grandpa to step in. Natural progression. I'm sure it is widely known through gossip anyway. So be it.

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:59 am

My being out will be complete this weekend as I sit out my kids baptism and allow grandpa to step in. Natural progression. I'm sure it is widely known through gossip anyway. So be it.

Difficult situation. It would be really mentally hard for me to watch grandpa step in and be the hero/savior for his grandson; I'm sure that will stroke his TBM priesthood ego. But you've probably been kicking against all those in-law pricks for a while now. It's really a no win because if you were doing the baptism they would probably have questioned your worthiness anyway.

I see it as a win; you've made one more step away from the silly ceremonies of a false tribe, while maintaining excellent support for your family's essential and important needs.

The Beast wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:46 am

It's still up. If anyone wants a link, let me know.

I’d love to see your video, if you’re willing to share it!

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:59 am

My being out will be complete this weekend as I sit out my kids baptism and allow grandpa to step in. Natural progression. I'm sure it is widely known through gossip anyway. So be it.

I’m so sorry. That must be really hard on you. It brings back memories of the cog dis I felt when my husband “couldn’t” bless our babies. I feel really badly about all of that now. I chose (as a TBM) not to replay that with baptism for the kids when the oldest turned 8 a few years ago. Good luck to you this weekend!

Somegirl wrote: ↑

Mon Jul 01, 2019 9:29 pm

So I haven’t been able to talk with my parents at all, but I have spoken with my mother in law a bit. She outright asked me if I ever get to go to church anymore (she knows DH doesn’t go). I said “not really, but that’s ok”. She said it wasn’t ok. I told her I “have a hard time with some of the stuff the church teaches”. She asked me for specifics. I told her for one thing, polygamy has always bothered me. She asked if there was any of that in my family line, and I told her yes (and reminded her who). She suggested that she has a book that is supposed to explain all of that, and asked if I’d like to borrow it. I said sure, but then she forgot to get it for me before we left. She hasn’t asked anymore questions since, and I haven’t volunteered any more info. So, I guess I will see if anything comes of that. As for my parents, I haven’t seen them since I posted this. Maybe in the next few weeks. We will see.

I think you are handling things well. Just feel free to answer questions as they come.

Looking back I find that people in general are so into themselves that they do not fully listen or desire to comprehend what you are trying to tell them.

I am a newly wed. Prior to getting married I saw an old Mormon friend at the computer store. I told him I was getting married to a Christian girl and have been attending other Christian churches. My Mormon friend proceeded to tell me about people I know who moved back into the local singles ward. My Mormon friend didn't seem to want to acknowledge that I moved on and was bout to get married so the Singles ward wouldn't interest me.

As for my family i am very careful what to say. I want to respect their beliefs but at the same time I want them to respect how I believe and practice my religion.

In away I am in the same boat. I did not ever bother to come right out and tell everyone that I was finished with the LDS church but I feel like there are things they do not need to know.

In some ways I feel that the people who are still plugged into the Mormon Matrix wouldn't know how to handle the world outside Mormonism. I would rather let them see the world through their Mormon Lenses.

As long as they do not try to yank me back in or convert my wife then we are fine.

Maybe at some point you will have to set that ground rule for your Mormon friends and family. Just let them know that you are done with going to the LDS church and you would like everyone to please respect that.

Somegirl wrote: ↑

Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:35 am

The Beast wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:46 am

It's still up. If anyone wants a link, let me know.

I’d love to see your video, if you’re willing to share it!

Certainly. Here you go. And yes I know it outs me. S'ok.
https://youtu.be/6_ke6E8EFBw

Brilliant video and well stated Mr. The Beast.

I let my parents come to me and ask questions. My father wasn't bothered as he has a lot of questions, too. As for my mother, she asked me point blank one day if I still believed and I launched into my doubts about Christianity and how it was nonsense to believe that god couldn't forgive unless and until his son was brutally sacrificed. She was taken aback and sent me some angry texts later on, demanding that I don't spread the evil to my tender, young children, etc., etc. She eventually got over it, though. It's probably good that my ex was never Mormon as I could see having to have had a much longer fight regarding church and attendance, because of the children (the go to excuse for any family war).

After watching my video, my parents, who were very gracious and loving about it all, said that at some point they would want to talk to me about "all this," to which I replied, "That's fine. I'm ok talking, but I'm also ok just leaving it alone." We have done the latter. The elephant remains, but is unnamed and unspoken of.

Update: well, I tried.

Edited to remove details: I tried to talk to my parents, and my mom avoided the convo. She looked ready to run away or start crying.

So... I am not quite sure where to go. For now, I guess I consider it done. I wish we could have had a conversation, but maybe another time. Maybe... or maybe not.

The Beast wrote: ↑

Sun Jul 14, 2019 12:09 pm

After watching my video, my parents, who were very gracious and loving about it all, said that at some point they would want to talk to me about "all this," to which I replied, "That's fine. I'm ok talking, but I'm also ok just leaving it alone." We have done the latter. The elephant remains, but is unnamed and unspoken of.

Thanks for posting your video. I’m wondering if I should have gone a similar route, to let them process. Your video was good, and I’m glad you felt loved.

In addition the the Dan Savage video that Red Ryder referenced, here’s another helpful link. Give it a quick read as well...

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/excommuni ... disbelief/

Hermey wrote: ↑

Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:11 am

In addition the the Dan Savage video that Red Ryder referenced, here’s another helpful link. Give it a quick read as well...

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/excommuni ... disbelief/

Thank you so much, Hermey. I really liked this article. I think I will take it to heart, and try not to feel like I have to purchase my disbelief. I’m saving the article to refer back to it often.