I read the article the other day, and it really affected me. I dont completely know why. I suppose because it parallels how I feel currently. I have been able and fortunate enough to remove most of the things that bother me about the church from my life. I have (I think) moved past the angry phase. I think I know this because ExMo Reddit is no longer entertaining to me. I unsubscribed from it the other day. I never participated much, but most things I kind of thought were good points, and at least funny. Now I am just not interested. But, I still have not found anything that replaces the church. I haven't found a community, or relationships, or activities that satisfy me in the way that the church used to.
This article touches on a lot of our shared experiences on this board I think, but it does it in a way that is just enough different as to be really interesting.
The author describes a summer camp she went to consistently, which was supposed to be non-denominational. She found out that non-denominational is typically also known as evangelicalism. The expectations made her uncomfortable, but she still felt obligated to attend, participate, and go with the flow. This kind of describes my experience with Mormonism. A lot of it made me uncomfortable, but between social and family pressure, I stayed in the boat.There are some things acquired in adolescence that remain with you. Your height. An acne scar. A crush that exists long after you last met eyes in the hallway. Eighteen years after that last summer at camp, I’m a liberal writer in Brooklyn who spends Christmas at my parents’ parish and Easter drinking wine instead of going to mass. Still, I can’t shake what I learned at camp — collaboration, unscripted prayer, finding God in nature — or the fun I had there. When I walk my dog in the park, the thick smell of humidity on grass brings me back to early-morning flag ceremonies. At camp I recognized women as leaders and learned to be one myself.
I am also now coming to terms with the idea that what defined me previously no longer defines me, so what does define me? But I did need to let things go, and I have, and it feels good. Now I am deeply interested in philosophy, morality, and social evolution. I plan on making some post about stuff I have been reading, but I thought that some of you might be interested in this article.I wish I could allow myself to give up my fondness toward camp, but just as I let our differences slide then, I’ve been doing the same in my adult life. I’m only now coming to terms with the idea that the Christianity I learned there may not represent me. Now, perhaps I need to do what I didn’t when I was a teenager: let camp go. I can develop my own understanding of God, and He might still exist in songs and mountains.
Also, I would like to know if any of the article feels similar to YW Girls Camp?