Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.

Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Yes
24
48%
No
23
46%
Don’t have a spouse.
3
6%
 
Total votes: 50

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1smartdodog
Posts: 346
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2017 5:51 pm

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by 1smartdodog » Wed Nov 20, 2019 7:04 am

I use to hide it but not anymore. A life of hiding who you are is tiresome. When i was willing to live with the consequences I was willing to live a more authentic life.

My wife now is more NOM than mormon but she still believes some. She has no interest in boards like this.


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“Five percent of the people think; ten percent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.”
― Thomas A. Edison

NOMormon
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:27 pm

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by NOMormon » Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:01 pm

My wife found out about my NOMing ways but never brought it up in conversation. She knew I had been struggling with my faith so she did the honorable thing and left me without saying goodbye. That was a year ago and she has since found a man who honors his priesthood. I'm sure our eternal marriage will soon be annulled so she can have the priesthood in her home full time. I must have left my computer logged in as she suddenly knew quite a lot about my grievances with the church. I still miss her dearly but I just couldn't go on living the lie. I don't regret the time I've spent on this message board but I do wish I had kept it to myself.

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I know the church is true beyond any shadow of a doubt. I love my Mom and Dad and I know they love me too.

User avatar
Palerider
Posts: 1568
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:44 am

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by Palerider » Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:57 am

NOMormon wrote:
Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:01 pm
My wife found out about my NOMing ways but never brought it up in conversation. She knew I had been struggling with my faith so she did the honorable thing and left me without saying goodbye. That was a year ago and she has since found a man who honors his priesthood. I'm sure our eternal marriage will soon be annulled so she can have the priesthood in her home full time. I must have left my computer logged in as she suddenly knew quite a lot about my grievances with the church. I still miss her dearly but I just couldn't go on living the lie. I don't regret the time I've spent on this message board but I do wish I had kept it to myself.

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Wow.........

That's pretty harsh.

But in a way it tells you how deep that river really ran. Did she love you or just a certain concept of you? It sounds like it was on the shallow side.

Further, I can't believe any decent Bishop would have counseled her to do this or approved of it without a serious attempt at saving the marriage.

So cold.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

NOMormon
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:27 pm

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by NOMormon » Thu Nov 21, 2019 10:51 am

You are right that my wife had a very shallow idea of who I am as a person. During the divorce I mentioned to my mom that I didn't think my wife loved me any more. My mom, a very perceptive person, said "son, she never did". I think deep down I already knew that.

I've been on NOM for 5-6 years and used to post occasionally under a different name. I do read almost every thread and feel like I know personally some of you who post a lot.

I heard my wife complaining on the phone to her mother that I was posting on an anti Mormon message board and I think that was the final straw for her. It was odd to me that she never once tried to save my soul from hell. Makes me wonder if she really believes There is a hell. Be cautious about your online activities. For some TBM's its the bridge too far.

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I know the church is true beyond any shadow of a doubt. I love my Mom and Dad and I know they love me too.

User avatar
Palerider
Posts: 1568
Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:44 am

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by Palerider » Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:11 pm

NOMormon wrote:
Thu Nov 21, 2019 10:51 am
You are right that my wife had a very shallow idea of who I am as a person. During the divorce I mentioned to my mom that I didn't think my wife loved me any more. My mom, a very perceptive person, said "son, she never did". I think deep down I already knew that.
Castaway is not an easy film to watch but I always take to heart this line from Tom Hanks near the end:

"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

Hang in there.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

User avatar
Red Ryder
Posts: 2393
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by Red Ryder » Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:19 pm

NOMormon wrote:
Thu Nov 21, 2019 10:51 am
You are right that my wife had a very shallow idea of who I am as a person. During the divorce I mentioned to my mom that I didn't think my wife loved me any more. My mom, a very perceptive person, said "son, she never did". I think deep down I already knew that.

I've been on NOM for 5-6 years and used to post occasionally under a different name. I do read almost every thread and feel like I know personally some of you who post a lot.

I heard my wife complaining on the phone to her mother that I was posting on an anti Mormon message board and I think that was the final straw for her. It was odd to me that she never once tried to save my soul from hell. Makes me wonder if she really believes There is a hell. Be cautious about your online activities. For some TBM's its the bridge too far.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
This hurts to read but have you considered this as a gift? You’re free to live authentically and pursue new relationships void of scripture reading charts, conference talks, and religious underwear!

I really didn’t talk about my faith crisis with my wife in depth because I feared she would walk away from the marriage. Then time passed and we still have the elephant in the room. In some ways I now wished I would have dropped the full truth bomb and worked through the consequences. Walking a tightrope in marriage is mentally exhausting. At first I was afraid we would get divorced, now I’m afraid we will never get divorced and we will just live within a weird mental cage called a mixed faith marriage.

I hope you find a reason to dream big and live your life chasing things you want. There are new relationships that await you so go join Tinder! :lol:
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

User avatar
Raylan Givens
Posts: 277
Joined: Sat Dec 17, 2016 12:09 am

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by Raylan Givens » Sat Nov 23, 2019 7:04 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:19 pm
NOMormon wrote:
Thu Nov 21, 2019 10:51 am
You are right that my wife had a very shallow idea of who I am as a person. During the divorce I mentioned to my mom that I didn't think my wife loved me any more. My mom, a very perceptive person, said "son, she never did". I think deep down I already knew that.

I've been on NOM for 5-6 years and used to post occasionally under a different name. I do read almost every thread and feel like I know personally some of you who post a lot.

I heard my wife complaining on the phone to her mother that I was posting on an anti Mormon message board and I think that was the final straw for her. It was odd to me that she never once tried to save my soul from hell. Makes me wonder if she really believes There is a hell. Be cautious about your online activities. For some TBM's its the bridge too far.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
This hurts to read but have you considered this as a gift? You’re free to live authentically and pursue new relationships void of scripture reading charts, conference talks, and religious underwear!

I really didn’t talk about my faith crisis with my wife in depth because I feared she would walk away from the marriage. Then time passed and we still have the elephant in the room. In some ways I now wished I would have dropped the full truth bomb and worked through the consequences. Walking a tightrope in marriage is mentally exhausting. At first I was afraid we would get divorced, now I’m afraid we will never get divorced and we will just live within a weird mental cage called a mixed faith marriage.

I hope you find a reason to dream big and live your life chasing things you want. There are new relationships that await you so go join Tinder! :lol:
RR, you shared this years ago and it made all the difference to me. Luckily, I have a very superstitious and the same time very skeptical wife. She saw past the first and moved toward the second.

Good luck NOMormon, make yourself your best self.
"Ah, you know, I think you use the Bible to do whatever the hell you like" - Raylan Givens

User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 3476
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by Hagoth » Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:21 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:19 pm
I hope you find a reason to dream big and live your life chasing things you want. There are new relationships that await you so go join Tinder! :lol:
AMEN!
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

Mackman
Posts: 134
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:03 am

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by Mackman » Wed Nov 27, 2019 1:20 pm

Wow Nomormon !!!! Thats tuff man. Hang in there, in many ways I wish I had come out sooner to my TBM wife. Its great when you no longer have to live a lie. Better days ahead for you im sure. God will bless you with someone who loves you for who you really are. In many ways I am jealous of you being "out". I think Gods plan is soooooo much simpler than secret handshakes, conferences, and being judged by another man if you are worthy to go to the temple or not its all bullshit . I believe in Christ and thats all I need !!!!!!!!

User avatar
moksha
Posts: 2676
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Does your spouse know you post on NOM?

Post by moksha » Wed Nov 27, 2019 7:20 pm

Would it be ideal if spouses could NOM together?
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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