Tired and worn out of the Church

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Mackman
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Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:03 am

Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Mackman » Mon Oct 28, 2019 8:08 am

I am soooooooo tired of all the mental gymnastics to try and make the church work But it just doesnt work because it is fake news , a cult corporation acting like a church. As many of you know I have tried for years to make it work even resigning and then forced back by my wife !!!! I applaud Corsair and many of you for trying to hang on for family and friends. My eyes are opened and no matter how hard I try you just cant put the genie back in the bottle. On the list of small victories list my 33 yrs old daughter is now in a faith crisis and because I made some noise about drinking coffee the wife decided to compromise and I am allowed to drink tea !!! Small victories yes but in the future I see the nuclear option of leaving again will probably come to pass !!!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening Nomies. Love all of you.

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Palerider
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Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Palerider » Mon Oct 28, 2019 8:43 am

This sounds like such a hard thing you're going through. So frustrating.

My mom always used to say, "Things usually work out for the best." No great philosophical statement, just a simple reflection of her positive attitude. And given time, patience, and a little work, most things have come out well enough. Hang in there. ;)
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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Red Ryder
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Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:44 am

So many armchair quarterback comments come to mind here but then I realize I’m not living your life. Your wife is! :lol:

Perhaps find a therapist where you can work these issues out with your wife. It’s not mentally healthy to live under this pressure from the church and your spouse. You should find ways to set appropriate boundaries.

Or move in with your 33 year old daughter.

Good luck.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

Anon70
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:56 pm

Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Anon70 » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:40 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:44 am
So many armchair quarterback comments come to mind here but then I realize I’m not living your life. Your wife is! :lol:

Perhaps find a therapist where you can work these issues out with your wife. It’s not mentally healthy to live under this pressure from the church and your spouse. You should find ways to set appropriate boundaries.

Or move in with your 33 year old daughter.

Good luck.
I listened to a Marriage on a Tightrope podcast with Julie de Azevedo Hanks last night and had this epiphany when she said something about not just one of the adults deciding for both adults. I went back over it a few times and realized I am totally living the life my DH wants in regards to church.

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blazerb
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Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by blazerb » Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:38 pm

Today, I heard a bunch of testimonies about blessings people have received. All we have to do is ask and hang on a bit. The blessings will come, they promise. I'm broke down. I'm sure they'll tell me that if I had just held out for another little bit, it would have all worked out. I can never prove them wrong. Sorry, I'm in a bitter mood tonight.

I love tea. I haven't had it in decades, but it is amazing stuff.

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slavereeno
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Location: QC, AZ

Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by slavereeno » Wed Nov 06, 2019 12:11 pm

Solidarity, man. That sucks.

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Newme
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2016 12:43 pm

Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Newme » Wed Nov 06, 2019 5:21 pm

Mackman wrote:
Mon Oct 28, 2019 8:08 am
I am soooooooo tired of all the mental gymnastics to try and make the church work But it just doesnt work because it is fake news , a cult corporation acting like a church. As many of you know I have tried for years to make it work even resigning and then forced back by my wife !!!! I applaud Corsair and many of you for trying to hang on for family and friends. My eyes are opened and no matter how hard I try you just cant put the genie back in the bottle. On the list of small victories list my 33 yrs old daughter is now in a faith crisis and because I made some noise about drinking coffee the wife decided to compromise and I am allowed to drink tea !!! Small victories yes but in the future I see the nuclear option of leaving again will probably come to pass !!!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening Nomies. Love all of you.
I can relate. Lately I’ve been feeling like extending boundaries with church/cult.

I am glad DH & I compromised - we raise our kids going to church but give tithes to the poor. Seminary is not church so I let my kids take better classes. Still, it feels wrong to serve in a calling when I don’t even believe in most of their dogma. I haven’t lied but when asked, I told the bishop why I don’t renew my temple recommend. But it’s like a Mormon having to go to Islamic Mosque - I feel like I don’t have freedom of religion, nor free speech.

Disagreements with other groups (like on this forum) remind me that the days of belonging to a group where all think alike - are over for me. Any group is going to have some issues, especially of herd mentality. So, take the best, leave the rest.

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Corsair
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Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Corsair » Thu Nov 07, 2019 1:31 pm

Newme wrote:
Wed Nov 06, 2019 5:21 pm
I am glad DH & I compromised - we raise our kids going to church but give tithes to the poor. Seminary is not church so I let my kids take better classes. Still, it feels wrong to serve in a calling when I don’t even believe in most of their dogma. I haven’t lied but when asked, I told the bishop why I don’t renew my temple recommend. But it’s like a Mormon having to go to Islamic Mosque - I feel like I don’t have freedom of religion, nor free speech.
This is really a great achievement. I have to acknowledge how forward thinking and effective your compromised goals sound.

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2bizE
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Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by 2bizE » Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:00 pm

After reading the tithing settlement posts, I feel completely worn. I’m just tired of the church. I’m about at my tipping place. I find little value with going. It is a zero value add. My lovely wife stopped nagging me to go to church about a year ago. If I’m sleeping comfortably at 0815, she doesn’t wake me. I’m exhausted from years of trying to fight by kids to go. I think my wife goes out of duty. She does the home study every day, but some weeks she doesn’t go to church as is completely fine with it.
The church is becoming less useful in my life. I now put a 5% effort into church, yet I’m physically exhausted still.
~2bizE

Keewon
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2019 4:01 pm

Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Keewon » Mon Nov 11, 2019 7:36 pm

2BizE wrote:The church is becoming less useful in my life. I now put a 5% effort into church, yet I’m physically exhausted still.
It would be a totally different story if the Church were true, wouldn't it? All the parables about the pearl of great price, the man selling all his goods to buy the field with the treasure in it, etc, make perfect sense. If JS had been a true prophet, if eternal life were waiting for us around the bend, if this life in fact were a test and we were proving ourselves worthy of an inheritance that "eye hath not seen nor ear heard", there would be no price too great to pay. If you really believe the story, it's completely consistent and logical to say "Lord- ask what you want- I lay it all before You that I might be found worthy".

Trouble is, the story's not true. My personal belief at this point is that death is the end. I also believe this fact justifies not a life of materialistic narcissism, but quite the opposite- life is too short, and too precious, not to be seeking things that are truly worthwhile, to earnestly try to leave some kind of real legacy to my children, to make the world a better place in the small time I have. The rules of the moral game aren't fundamentally different, except there is no immortality involved, no eternal comeuppance. It's now or never.

It's ironic that it's the religious people who postpone the day of their repentance, thinking God will sort everything out eventually. They don't think of their grand- and great-grand-children having to live in the hellhole we're leaving them due to climate change, pollution, and the vast degradation of the planet as the obscenely wealthy strip-mine this earth's resources for themselves.

In my opinion, they- the believers- are the selfish ones.

Mackman
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:03 am

Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by Mackman » Tue Nov 12, 2019 8:13 am

I totally understand Keewon, I have many of the same feelings as you do. The media keeps telling us how great the economy is but that's fake news too. It's all about power, greed & control of the masses!!!! Funny thing the church leadership is right there with the one percenters !!! Of power and control !!! Imagine that . Sorry I'm being so negative but it's hard to spin that positive.

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2bizE
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Re: Tired and worn out of the Church

Post by 2bizE » Tue Nov 12, 2019 7:06 pm

Keewon wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 7:36 pm
2BizE wrote:The church is becoming less useful in my life. I now put a 5% effort into church, yet I’m physically exhausted still.
It would be a totally different story if the Church were true, wouldn't it? All the parables about the pearl of great price, the man selling all his goods to buy the field with the treasure in it, etc, make perfect sense. If JS had been a true prophet, if eternal life were waiting for us around the bend, if this life in fact were a test and we were proving ourselves worthy of an inheritance that "eye hath not seen nor ear heard", there would be no price too great to pay. If you really believe the story, it's completely consistent and logical to say "Lord- ask what you want- I lay it all before You that I might be found worthy".

Trouble is, the story's not true. My personal belief at this point is that death is the end. I also believe this fact justifies not a life of materialistic narcissism, but quite the opposite- life is too short, and too precious, not to be seeking things that are truly worthwhile, to earnestly try to leave some kind of real legacy to my children, to make the world a better place in the small time I have. The rules of the moral game aren't fundamentally different, except there is no immortality involved, no eternal comeuppance. It's now or never.

It's ironic that it's the religious people who postpone the day of their repentance, thinking God will sort everything out eventually. They don't think of their grand- and great-grand-children having to live in the hellhole we're leaving them due to climate change, pollution, and the vast degradation of the planet as the obscenely wealthy strip-mine this earth's resources for themselves.

In my opinion, they- the believers- are the selfish ones.
Thank you for enlightening me even more. That is the direction my mind is headed. I think much of this can still be done (making impact on family and world) even if spouse is TBM.
~2bizE

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