Explaining Miracles

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Post Reply
User avatar
moksha
Posts: 2674
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Explaining Miracles

Post by moksha » Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:26 am

News article from the faithful:
JERUSALEM - At 5 PM at the intersection Dolarosa and Vine, the face of God appeared and uttered in an unknown language, “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.”

The huge face was witnessed by a crowd of 127 Jerusalemites (122, since 5 were preoccupied at the Levshal Falafel Stand and missed the miracle).

Reb Ari Finkelstein, speaking for the Sanhedrin, stated it was a divine manifestation and meant that the chosen people should avoid shellfish, bacon, and avocado toast.
-- Zev Parnass, Israeli Gazzette, 97 BCE
Disbelieving gentiles have issued a statement that such a preposterous event never occurred or else was a mass hallucination brought on by camel fumes.

So, what really happened? Was this a holoprojection from the future that was actually meant to sell pajamas or something else?
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

User avatar
moksha
Posts: 2674
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by moksha » Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:14 am

So are you implying by way of this news parable that apart from what is claimed and doubted, there is a better or perhaps even real explanation?
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

User avatar
moksha
Posts: 2674
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by moksha » Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:26 am

Penguin Clone wrote:
Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:14 am
So are you implying by way of this news parable that apart from what is claimed and doubted, there is a better or perhaps even real explanation?
Are you attempting to read my mind? Well, that will not work! I learned from the Glenn Beck show how to fashion aluminum foil into a helmet that will effectively block those mind rays. So there.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 3474
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Hagoth » Sun Nov 03, 2019 9:03 am

I heard that 500 people watched a resurrected guy fly up into heaven. I know it's true because one guy, who wasn't there at the time, wrote it down a few decades later.

I understand there were actually more than 500 (oddly round number) people there but, you know, falafel.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

User avatar
slavereeno
Posts: 1117
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:30 am
Location: QC, AZ

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by slavereeno » Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:06 pm

I dunno, I kind of like this version of God that shows up to tell a joke then disappears again. Seems Legit.

User avatar
alas
Posts: 1314
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:10 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by alas » Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:42 pm

slavereeno wrote:
Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:06 pm
I dunno, I kind of like this version of God that shows up to tell a joke then disappears again. Seems Legit.
I also like the idea of a God who shows up to tell a joke, even a bad one, even in a language nobody understands, much better than the super serious God of Christianity who yells at people and sends babies to hell for not getting baptized, before they can even walk let alone make a decision to get baptized. Nope, if your parents don’t do it for you, I am going to punish you for eternity.

User avatar
Red Ryder
Posts: 2392
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Nov 06, 2019 7:43 pm

alas wrote:
Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:42 pm
slavereeno wrote:
Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:06 pm
I dunno, I kind of like this version of God that shows up to tell a joke then disappears again. Seems Legit.
I also like the idea of a God who shows up to tell a joke, even a bad one, even in a language nobody understands, much better than the super serious God of Christianity who yells at people and sends babies to hell for not getting baptized, before they can even walk let alone make a decision to get baptized. Nope, if your parents don’t do it for you, I am going to punish you for eternity.
I also like the idea of a God who uses camel dung to induce mass hallucinations brought on by camel dung fumes to promote the idea of a God people will like! Eternity is circular with this camel dung God.

*Penguins may be used as substitution for camels in cold weather climates.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

User avatar
moksha
Posts: 2674
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by moksha » Sat Nov 09, 2019 9:50 am

moksha wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:26 am
JERUSALEM - At 5 PM at the intersection Dolarosa and Vine, the face of God appeared and uttered in an unknown language, “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.”
-- Zev Parnass, Israeli Gazzette, 97 BCE
The face of God appeared once more in ancient Jerusalem. This time it said, "I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food". Not sure what meaning the Sanhedrin will assign to this vision.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 3474
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Hagoth » Sat Nov 09, 2019 2:27 pm

As far as jokes that are actually in the Bible go (aside from the talking ass, of course - that's a cheap laugh), my favorite was when Yahweh appeared to Moses and showed him his butt instead of his face. I take it as a prescient message about how seriously to take the stuff that Moses would come up with afterward. Moses didn't get the joke.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

Anon70
Posts: 588
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:56 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Anon70 » Wed Nov 13, 2019 1:10 am

Hagoth wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 2:27 pm
my favorite was when Yahweh appeared to Moses and showed him his butt instead of his face.
I clearly didn’t pay attention in my BYU Old Testament class :shock:

User avatar
Just This Guy
Posts: 966
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 3:30 pm
Location: Almost Heaven

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Just This Guy » Wed Nov 13, 2019 5:59 am

When Moses say a burning bush, it wasn't a plant...

Today you can get a cream for that.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 3474
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Hagoth » Wed Nov 13, 2019 11:00 am

Anon70 wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 1:10 am
Hagoth wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 2:27 pm
my favorite was when Yahweh appeared to Moses and showed him his butt instead of his face.
I clearly didn’t pay attention in my BYU Old Testament class :shock:
Exodus 33:20 And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live. 21 And the LORD said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock: 22 And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by: 23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

As illustrated by Michelangelo:
Image
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

Anon70
Posts: 588
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:56 pm

Re: Explaining Miracles

Post by Anon70 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 5:02 pm

Hagoth wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 11:00 am
Anon70 wrote:
Wed Nov 13, 2019 1:10 am
Hagoth wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 2:27 pm
my favorite was when Yahweh appeared to Moses and showed him his butt instead of his face.
I clearly didn’t pay attention in my BYU Old Testament class :shock:
Exodus 33:20 And he said, Thou canst not see my face: for there shall no man see me, and live. 21 And the LORD said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock: 22 And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by: 23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

As illustrated by Michelangelo:
Image
Just...wow. :lol:

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests