A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

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Red Ryder
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A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:33 pm

Nommies,

You may remember Kishkumen from posts past. He’s been a fun, insightful, and relatable Nommie for a few years now. He hasn’t been around on NOM much lately but recently (3 weeks now) has had a tragic health event with his young daughter. A few of us that know him in person have known about this but haven’t posted about it here on NOM out of privacy. He posted today on Reddit about it and has given me permission to share here.

You can read his post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comme ... h_reality/

I don’t believe Reddit allows for fundraising and they aren’t specifically asking for help, but if you wish to donate or help in whatever way possible please PM me and I can share the Facebook information. I don’t believe there is a go fund me account set up but other means make it possible.

I’ve talked with Kish and he’s not looking for prayers, thoughts, and sympathy but is struggling to grasp the details of this life changing event and managing through a new life perspective where many variables are still unknown. May the FSM bless his family at this incredibly difficult time.

RR
Last edited by Red Ryder on Sat Nov 23, 2019 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
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Re: A note from Kishkumen.

Post by wtfluff » Fri Nov 22, 2019 5:07 pm

Damn.

I have fleeting thoughts/nightmares of things like this befalling my kids. I can't imagine actually going through it.

Lame internet hugs going out to Kiskumen and family. Hopefully there's more we can do...
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

Brilliant.

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Journey
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Re: A note from Kishkumen.

Post by Journey » Fri Nov 22, 2019 8:12 pm

Thank you for letting us know, Red Ryder! It’s heartbreaking to hear of his daughter’s illness! Wishing and hoping Kish and his family find comfort in love many of us are sending their way! Hang in there, little girl ❤️

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Hagoth
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Hagoth » Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:26 am

Oh man, that is everyone's worst nightmare.

I'm glad he has love and support but I also really hate that some people around Kish are finding ways to make this tragedy a judgement against him, like the way his MIL told him he needed to straighten up so God could heal his little girl. What an awful way to manipulate an already unimaginatively awful situation. In his position I think I would ask my MIL to convince me I'm wrong by finding a priesthood holder who IS worthy of healing my little girl.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Palerider
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Palerider » Sat Nov 23, 2019 5:59 pm

Hagoth wrote:
Sat Nov 23, 2019 9:26 am
.....like the way his MIL told him he needed to straighten up so God could heal his little girl.
I'm sure it must exist in every religion or church to some degree but for some reason I get the feeling that LDS doctrine truly lends itself to self-righteousness in a big, big way. It doesn't seem to matter how many empty GA talks are given that mention staying humble and not judging your neighbor (or son-in-law) but there's just got to be that one idiot out there that cannot be a big enough person to truly appreciate the entirety of the situation.

Even if a person actually thought the things this woman is thinking, she still hasn't figured out that God isn't going to shut her big mouth for her. She has to be grown up enough to do it herself.

Yep. If you're in the "true" church, that gives you the unfiltered right to call everyone else to repentance as you see fit, especially at a time when it will do no good.

Smooth move.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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2bizE
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by 2bizE » Sun Nov 24, 2019 6:55 am

I posted a long reply yesterday and it failed...
The short version is I feel tremendously for Kish and his family. May he find the support he and his family needs..
~2bizE

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blazerb
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by blazerb » Sun Nov 24, 2019 8:25 am

I hope Kishkumen knows that the way his family is treating him is wrong. Mainly, I hope that his daughter gets the best medical help possible.

Wonderment
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Wonderment » Sun Nov 24, 2019 3:50 pm

Thank you for posting this. Sending very best wishes to Kish, his daughter, and his family. That's terrible what his MIL said. Why don't religious people think before they blurt out things? That sounds like something my family would say to me, i.e., it's your fault this happened because you shut God out of your life. I want to ask the MIL - why would a loving, merciful God make a little girl sick in order to get revenge on the father for not believing? What kind of a monster would do that? For that matter, what kind of a MIL would put the father of her granddaughter on a guilt and shame trip at this very critical time? - Wndr.

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MoPag
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by MoPag » Mon Nov 25, 2019 9:30 am

Oh I just want to hug Kish and his sweet family!!!!

One thing I've learned through my own personal tragedies, is that there are people who don't have the emotional "tool kit" to process things. And they end up saying horrible self-centered stupid stuff. One thing that helps me, is I have to say to myself: "I'm not going to waste my emotional energy on them." It just sucks because the stupidest people usually have the loudest mouths.

Anther thing, look for support groups or forums for families coping with illness. It makes a world of difference to be able to share your story with people who truly understand where you are coming from.

I love you Kish and Mrs. Kish and sweet baby Kishes!!!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Mormorrisey
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Mormorrisey » Mon Nov 25, 2019 10:22 am

What a horrible, horrible thing Kish's family is going through. I have never heard of this disease, and after doing some reading I wouldn't wish this experience on anybody. Wishing them nothing but the best.
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."

Kishkumen
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Kishkumen » Mon Nov 25, 2019 1:58 pm

Thank you all for the concern.
I don't know what to say. If any of you looked up F.I.R.E.S. - its rather horrible. Living it is much worse.

You can follow her facebook group/blog if you want.

https://m.facebook.com/groups/2066428796791439

I'm devastated, yet grateful to still have her.

This weekend was positive. It seems she has "Broken Status" which means she's no longer in Status Epilepticus, or no longer in a continuous seizure state. We are grateful for that. Now we can see the aftermath of this hurricane.

We found a private Facebook group for families of Children with FIRES. Some have experienced even worse than my daughter. There is another family in Arizona whose son fell ill to FIRES earlier this year and was hospitalized 3 months. While it's nice to talk to someone who's been through it, it's still horrifying to imagine what lies ahead.

I can't understand this. My baby was taken for no reason and for nothing anyone can understand. Spending 3 weeks wondering what would happen with an ever-present concern of impending doom.

Now, my healthy intelligent beautiful daughter has suffered a tragedy we couldn't have even imagined only 4 weeks ago. I'm mad. I'm sad. I'm hopeful. And I'm not the one in that hospital bed.

Yes, my MIL made an unintelligent comment that irritated me. I'm over it. Lots of people continue to "pray" and thank God she has broken status. They can fuck off. Where was their so-called god before the damage was done? I set up of shrine to the FSM. 4 days later she started to improve. Meanwhile ever one asked Jesus for a miracle - Which God did something? What about some non-christian friends that prayed to their - Yes, some Hindu's and Muslims were praying for her.

I sometimes share with the Doctors Nurses and Staff what the FSM means to me. Why I say "Praise Science" instead of "Thank God" I let them know they deserve all the credit, not a magic spirit.

Our family has been through hell too many times. A faith transition in 2015-2016. Major Marital Discord 2017-2019. We separated this summer. And now my daughter has suffered a very rare and extreme illness that has left her severely cognitively impaired. Life has been troublesome for many years. I know we all have struggles, yet this seems too much - and people keep telling me to look on the bright side.

I know others on this board have experienced their own heartache and misfortune and loss. I don't minimize any of you. I'm simply so tired of this. A happy life does not exist.

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Fifi de la Vergne
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Fifi de la Vergne » Tue Nov 26, 2019 8:45 am

I'm so, so sorry you and your family are going through this. Words are inadequate I know, but I hope you have people around you IRL who can bear you up and give you the kind of support that actually comforts and helps.

Hugs.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.

Keewon
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by Keewon » Tue Nov 26, 2019 2:57 pm

Oh man. I have a little girl who's a young adult now. I can imagine the pain, and what I imagine, hurts a lot. I'm so sorry. My thoughts and empathy are with Kish and family at this tough time, just for what little it may be worth.

This prompts a memory for me: I remember as a newly minted returned missionary spending days fasting for faith to heal my ailing father who had advanced Parkinson's disease. Later I spent a day in prayer up the canyon. Try as I might, willing to sacrifice to any extent, it wasn't sufficient. Now I realize that Parkinson's is one of the things you just can't "pray away". The odds of a "miraculous" cure of anything seem to coincide with the odds of getting better without the miracle. Just one more piece of scientific evidence in the puzzle.

It doesn't make it any easier. And that MIL finds a way to take a tragedy and twist the knife a bit at a time like this is just wrong, and another reason to look askance on religion in general. I think the response "If your faith is so great, why isn't she getting any better?" is apt.

Kicking a person when he's down-- not good form.

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AllieOop
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by AllieOop » Sun Dec 01, 2019 11:42 am

Oh wow, Kishkumen,

Reading this broke my heart....I'm so very sorry. Please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I spent every day in the hospital with my daughter for an entire year, who was so ill that I was told every day by the doctors it would possibly be her last. It was the most life changing experience of my life and I know some of what you must be dealing with. There is so much more than you can ever express here.

And...ignore any comments by active members. I honestly believe they simply do not know how offensive these can be (although they should know!!!!). I had someone ask if I now knew the blessings I'd lost and if I was going to come back to church :roll:

Just focus on your daughter, wife and other kids (this is so hard on them too as you well know) and surround your sweet little girl with positive thoughts and love. And...please keep us updated as you feel you can. People here truly care.
"There came a time when the desire to know the truth about the church became stronger than the desire to know the church was true."

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deacon blues
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by deacon blues » Sun Dec 01, 2019 7:40 pm

I agree. If anyone has any updates please let us know.
God is Love. God is Truth

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græy
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by græy » Mon Dec 02, 2019 10:37 am

Kish, I am so sorry this is happening to your daughter and your family. It truly is every parent's worst nightmare. Our thoughts, sympathies, and hopes are with you, your family, and your beautiful little girl!
I'm better than dirt... well most dirt. Not that fancy store bought stuff, I can't compete with that... full of nutrients and everything. -Moe Sizlack

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jfro18
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Re: A note from Kishkumen. (His daughter is sick)

Post by jfro18 » Mon Dec 02, 2019 7:01 pm

I'm just catching up from the last few weeks and hadn't seen this yet. Just so sorry it's happening and I hope that you can get some positive news and some relief soon.

This is absolutely heartbreaking and if you ever need anyone to vent to or anything just let me/us know.

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