Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
User avatar
slavereeno
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:30 am
Location: QC, AZ

Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by slavereeno » Fri Dec 13, 2019 12:15 pm

Christmas has turned into my very least favorite time of year.

It seems like its all about shopping, presents, worrying about how much gets spent on this person vs that person or me vs you. :evil: The guy in church bragging about what he is giving his wife or kids for Christmas. :roll: The endless parade of Christmas cards with pictures of the perfect family vacation in New Zealand and the cardboard cutout of the missionary kid that isn't with them. Trying to park anywhere. The movies about everything being ok if you "Just Believe." The virtue signaling about how much better people we are than you because of all this stuff we did for the "less fortunate" etc. etc. Oh and the same 10 sh**y Christmas songs that radio stations play over and over and over.

I try to tell myself that all that isn't the true meaning of Christmas, but the birth of Christ doesn't have the same meaning for me. It all seems like an excuse to get people to overspend so the books can hit the "black" ink.

Image
Last edited by slavereeno on Sat Dec 14, 2019 10:46 am, edited 3 times in total.

stuck
Posts: 299
Joined: Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:48 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by stuck » Fri Dec 13, 2019 2:09 pm

My faith crisis caused me to question god and christianity and wouldn't you know it there are problems. From the virgin mary not being a virgin to half the books in the new testament being forgeries. So when traditional christmas music comes on it's almost like how you feel during testimony meeting now. I guess we are now like people in the matrix where we see things more for what they are. Maybe a thousand years from now they will say Jesus was a good teacher but guess what we found his bones and so he wasn't ressurected and probably didn't do all of those miracles.

Happy Holidays Nomies ;)

User avatar
wtfluff
Posts: 3630
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:20 pm
Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by wtfluff » Fri Dec 13, 2019 5:30 pm

I've pretty much hated X-Mas for a long time, including many years before my enlightenment about LD$, Inc. because of pretty much the same reasons you list Slaver. Just like MORmONism, it's just a competition to see who can one up each other and spending too much $$ on useless crap.

Figuring out there's no Jesus magic in it hasn't really changed my opinion much.

Happy Saturnalia / Winter Solstice Celebration! (If you're in the northern hemisphere that is...)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

User avatar
glass shelf
Posts: 366
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:27 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by glass shelf » Fri Dec 13, 2019 6:33 pm

I still like Christmas, but I only celebrate the parts I like, and there's no baby Jesus involved.

I imagine it won't be as exciting when my kids are all too big or move away from home. We just have a lot of traditions that I really enjoy. Tomorrow, we're going for our annual trip to look at the amazingly cool gingerbread houses that are on display downtown, eat at a favorite downtown pizza place, and see the light display in a big city park. All the proceeds from that one go to charity.

I stopped mailing Christmas cards out, so I get very few. People who I want to be in contact with know what's happening in my life, and I don't like the pressure of creating a "perfect" family picture and letter every year. To be honest, a lot of this year has really sucked. Some has been great, but definitely not all, and I'm glad to not have to pretend it is.

Every year before holidays, I ask my kids what matters to them and what traditions they want to see happen. Sometimes, they don't mention things that I found to be a giant pain, so I just phase those out. Other times, they mention things that just happened but were easy to do, so I make sure to do those.

We also don't live by extended family, so it's usually just us for Christmas. I might have to go in for a few hours to work that morning, but either way, it's going to be a low-key day of eating yummy food by the fire and watching Christmas movies. We're having an oven version of a seafood boil this year, and I cannot wait. :D

All of this to say, I think there are lots of ways to change Christmas so that it works for you. Cut out the frustrating bits and focus on the things that matter to you. (edit to add: or just ignore the whole thing to the best of your ability)

User avatar
alas
Posts: 2357
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:10 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by alas » Sat Dec 14, 2019 9:09 am

My favorite Christmas characters have always been Scrooge and Grinch, before they become converts. They had it right the first time.

But, since you can’t get away with sitting in your cave high on Mt. Crumpet, griping about the noise, noise, noise noise, you have to find a way to make it your own. Just like if you’re going to keep attending church, you have to Mormon on your own terms, you have to figure out how to Christmas on your own terms. You don’t have to compete for the most expensive gifts, or gift yourself that new car as advertised. I really hate this idea that you should buy yourself a supper expensive Christmas present of exactly what you want that nobody else is going to give you, with the “you deserve it” that the advertisements promote. Talk about taking “gimme, gimme, gimme” to the extreme. You don’t have to go to twenty parties. If you are part of that many social circles and groups, your life is just too busy all the time. Cut down, don’t go, stop it.

For example, we have cut Christmas down to what we want to do. Our extended family of our kids decided to draw names and we included my single brother and sister, my daughter’s FIL, and various roommates, step children, in laws and outlaws. Everyone with an invite to the Christmas party gets one name to buy a gift for and a food assignment. My husband and I don’t gift each other, let alone ourselves. So, our gift list went from 20 or so, to 2. We skipped the church party because it just sounded super cheesy. We attended one club party. We make goodies to pass out to the neighbors, because I enjoy making particular goodies, but both DH and I being diabetics, We can’t eat very much in the goodies category, so I get to make them and give them away. We have quit things like go freeze your tail off walking through parks to see the lights, or fight the hoards on temple square. I quit sending out cards or letters years ago. If we don’t want to do it, then we don’t do it. Some years we have taken off and gone to our cabin at Bear Lake just for the supper quiet.

Wonderment
Posts: 450
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:38 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by Wonderment » Sat Dec 14, 2019 5:03 pm

It seems like its all about shopping, presents, worrying about how much gets spent on this person vs that person or me vs you. :evil: The guy in church bragging about what he is giving his wife or kids for Christmas. :roll: The endless parade of Christmas cards with pictures of the perfect family vacation in New Zealand and the cardboard cutout of the missionary kid that isn't with them. Trying to park anywhere. The movies about everything being ok if you "Just Believe." The virtue signaling about how much better people we are than you because of all this stuff we did for the "less fortunate" etc. etc. Oh and the same 10 sh**y Christmas songs that radio stations play over and over and over.

I try to tell myself that all that isn't the true meaning of Christmas, but the birth of Christ doesn't have the same meaning for me. It all seems like an excuse to get people to overspend so the books can hit the "black" ink.
Christmas in Mormondom is pretty much a competition to see who can outdo each other with the fanciest "most perfect family" Christmas card photo, or a long list of expensive gifts that they are giving to each other. They're highly competitive that way.


I lost interest in Christmas a long time ago. They fake smiles, the fake cheer, the "perfect, perfect family photo", the "perfect Facebook messages", the 3 page single-spaced letter about how all 9 children are perfect, perfect, perfect, all serving their missions perfectly, all marrying perfectly, everybody smiley, smiley, smiley, with perfect white porcelain veneers, and with tons of presents. I mean TONS. 9 adult children each buying at least one gift for each one of their sibling, plus all of their siblings' children, equals hundreds and hundreds of perfectly wrapped presents, prestige name brand presents.
Figure this -- if you have 8 siblings, and each sibling has at least 5 children, they you are buying presents for at least 40 people, not to mention your own partner or spouse. If you have 8 adult children, and they each have 8 children, then that's 64 grandchildren to buy perfect, perfect, presents for. Not to mention all the perfect nieces and nephews. And because prosperity means that you are righteous, you of course want to show how prosperous you are by buying the most expensive presents possible for everyone.

So - we prefer a quiet Christmas. We try to spend our money not on expensive high-prestige goods, but by doing something to help the less fortunate, or maybe we will donate to a worthy charity that help people in need in our area.
Mormon Christmas ( or even conservative Bible-thumping evangelical Christmas, with Christmas cards with Trump's head superimposed on Rambo's body, with Santa wearing a Maga hat -- sucks. I'm sorry for the rant, but it truly, truly sucks; and my heart goes out to anyone who gets dragged through it. :roll: :roll: Wndr.

User avatar
2bizE
Posts: 2405
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:33 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by 2bizE » Sat Dec 14, 2019 5:15 pm

I’ve disliked Christmas for a long time.
Time with family, gifts, giving, food, sharing with others are all good things that are overshadowed by the huge money making business of the corporate Christmas.
A few years ago, I broke out of this Christmas depression by adopting a family in need. We bought them gifts like coats and gloves, a few toys for the kids, and some good food.
All outside the purview of the church. That was the last time I felt any type of Christmas spirit.
~2bizE

hmb
Posts: 452
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:43 am

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by hmb » Sun Dec 15, 2019 5:15 pm

I'm now atheist but still like traditional Christmas music, even MoTab music. It really is quite good, though it does make me sad too. It makes me miss being a kid. I remember, as a kid, visiting lonely, old people. Now I'm one of those, only because I don't go out and find people/friends. It's like wanting to win the Lottery, but never buying a ticket. It's sort of pathetic but I have to admit that I'm just super lazy when it comes to being social. Most of the year, I don't care as much, but this time of year is pretty hard. I don't care about the presents and money part. I never felt pressure to keep up with others' spending. Sometimes I spend a lot, other times barely anything. In general, I agree with Bah! Humbug!

User avatar
MoPag
Posts: 3741
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:05 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by MoPag » Mon Dec 16, 2019 8:18 am

Now Slave, let's not forget the real reason for Christmas:
reasonfortheseason.png
reasonfortheseason.png (75.41 KiB) Viewed 7940 times
I just laugh on the inside at all the people celebrating a holiday they really know nothing about.

Go watch The Simpsons Christmas episode when they get Santa's Little Helper. It's a classic and better than anything you will hear at church.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

User avatar
RubinHighlander
Posts: 1906
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am
Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by RubinHighlander » Mon Dec 16, 2019 9:22 am

Plus 1 on the Bah and the Humbug.

Ah Christmas. It can be a beautiful time to get together with family to enjoy some traditions, but overall, it's been ruined for me. Can we have a little festivus here with some erring of grievances?

Even as a TMB I hated the commercialism of the holiday. Then I also hated the history of Catholic Holy days meshed with paganism. Overly hyped by capitalism, it really diminished the whole thing for me.

I hate all the decor and most of the music. The decor, because we have too many bins of crap we put out every year, but at least we are not chopping down a perfectly good tree for no good reason, but then think of all the plastic in the landfill a few years later. Think about the extra electricity wasted across the planet to light up all those houses and it get's worse every year as neighbors try to outdo each other.

I hate people like Kurt Bestore, regurgitating Christmas songs in their own image to try and make them more palatable and modern; then having all your TBM friends rave about it on social media. "Boy, that Kurt sure can put on a Christmas show!" Gag!!!

So now that we are out of TSCC, learned the truth about the bible, we can further diminish the importance of this holiday, no longer bounced around between tradition and false narrative. We have trimmed back the money part to a few small gifts per kid and some cash, making it more and more simple each year. Next year we'll be planning a trip out of town, going adventuring in S. Utah. That's the advantage of older kids. The Christmas spirit will be flowing at our house, but it will come from beautiful bottles of liquors and wines.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

User avatar
græy
Posts: 1339
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:52 pm
Location: Central TX

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by græy » Mon Dec 16, 2019 12:40 pm

I like to celebrate the winter solstice because space, orbits, and understanding are cool! DW and I do a pretty good job keeping gifts minimal and well within our predefined budget, and we expend very little extra effort on cards, letters, or otherwise looking the part. That said, I do get sick of the repetitive music, and DW's constant of reminder of "the reason for the season!"
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack

User avatar
Red Ryder
Posts: 4144
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Dec 16, 2019 1:05 pm

You guys need a candy cane or something!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

User avatar
jfro18
Posts: 2064
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:41 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by jfro18 » Mon Dec 16, 2019 6:56 pm

My work is effectively on a retail calendar, so mid-November to Christmas are terrible for me so I just do not really have the time or energy to get excited for Christmas cheer.

I try though for my wife and now for our kid to make time to get out and do Christmas stuff and decorate and all that, but inside I just want to get stuff done so I can be done with work sooner.

So sign me up on the bah humbug team... especially having spent time reading/listening about the Christmas story in the Bible and it's historicity. :lol:

Thoughtful
Posts: 1162
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:54 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by Thoughtful » Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:13 pm

I like Christmas, but I've had to redefine it. We took Christ out, for the most part. I still display a nativity, otherwise, *shrug*.

Last year I was Scrooging hard and my kids carried the traditions. They bought angel tree gifts themselves without me. They made me host our old country tradition. I didn't send cards.

This year, I sent cards but had the card company address and mail them. I made homemade vanilla for all our coworkers (heloooo vodka!). I volunteered at the hs Christmas concert.

We work like dogs this time of year because holidays are rotten for our clients. But we get 2 weeks off and it will be filled with beautiful, relaxing, gifts, good food, and as little stress as I can muster. I submitted grades last night to the college and now it's just my day job until Friday. Then we kick off with Chevy Chase and Brazilian candies.

Thoughtful
Posts: 1162
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:54 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by Thoughtful » Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:17 pm

Wonderment wrote:
Sat Dec 14, 2019 5:03 pm
It seems like its all about shopping, presents, worrying about how much gets spent on this person vs that person or me vs you. :evil: The guy in church bragging about what he is giving his wife or kids for Christmas. :roll: The endless parade of Christmas cards with pictures of the perfect family vacation in New Zealand and the cardboard cutout of the missionary kid that isn't with them. Trying to park anywhere. The movies about everything being ok if you "Just Believe." The virtue signaling about how much better people we are than you because of all this stuff we did for the "less fortunate" etc. etc. Oh and the same 10 sh**y Christmas songs that radio stations play over and over and over.

I try to tell myself that all that isn't the true meaning of Christmas, but the birth of Christ doesn't have the same meaning for me. It all seems like an excuse to get people to overspend so the books can hit the "black" ink.
Christmas in Mormondom is pretty much a competition to see who can outdo each other with the fanciest "most perfect family" Christmas card photo, or a long list of expensive gifts that they are giving to each other. They're highly competitive that way.


I lost interest in Christmas a long time ago. They fake smiles, the fake cheer, the "perfect, perfect family photo", the "perfect Facebook messages", the 3 page single-spaced letter about how all 9 children are perfect, perfect, perfect, all serving their missions perfectly, all marrying perfectly, everybody smiley, smiley, smiley, with perfect white porcelain veneers, and with tons of presents. I mean TONS. 9 adult children each buying at least one gift for each one of their sibling, plus all of their siblings' children, equals hundreds and hundreds of perfectly wrapped presents, prestige name brand presents.
Figure this -- if you have 8 siblings, and each sibling has at least 5 children, they you are buying presents for at least 40 people, not to mention your own partner or spouse. If you have 8 adult children, and they each have 8 children, then that's 64 grandchildren to buy perfect, perfect, presents for. Not to mention all the perfect nieces and nephews. And because prosperity means that you are righteous, you of course want to show how prosperous you are by buying the most expensive presents possible for everyone.

So - we prefer a quiet Christmas. We try to spend our money not on expensive high-prestige goods, but by doing something to help the less fortunate, or maybe we will donate to a worthy charity that help people in need in our area.
Mormon Christmas ( or even conservative Bible-thumping evangelical Christmas, with Christmas cards with Trump's head superimposed on Rambo's body, with Santa wearing a Maga hat -- sucks. I'm sorry for the rant, but it truly, truly sucks; and my heart goes out to anyone who gets dragged through it. :roll: :roll: Wndr.
My grandparents never gave us much for Christmas. With so many grandkids, we were more of a number than a relationship. My inlaws hand out cash. My parents buy secondhand gifts. The Christmas letters certainly give the impression of fancy perfection but it's not happening here. My siblings and I draw names. So I buy a family gift for one of their families each year.

Wonderment
Posts: 450
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:38 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by Wonderment » Mon Dec 16, 2019 11:21 pm

I think it's a lot easier to draw names and buy one family gift than to struggle with carloads of stuff that people may not use or want, or resent having to go out in snowy weather to return gifts to the mall, or take to the post office to return to Amazon, etc.
I think that Christmas among Mormons and other high-demand religious organizations gets to be so out of control and so over-the-top that it becomes ridiculous.
I refuse to look at one more " our perfect family" photo on social media. :roll: - Wndr.

User avatar
crazyhamster
Posts: 128
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:25 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by crazyhamster » Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:20 am

It’s interesting - I like Christmas more since I became non-religious and have a different perspective. Though I still enjoy some of the traditional carols and so on, I look at it now as more of a seasonal celebration of the solstice and looking forward to the renewal of Spring. Kind of back to its pagan roots in a way, I suppose.

Now, I give pretty much only personally made or locally made gifts and crafts, small gifts that have meaning to me and hopefully to the person receiving.

I have made Christmas work for me, not the other way around.

User avatar
slavereeno
Posts: 1247
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:30 am
Location: QC, AZ

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by slavereeno » Tue Dec 17, 2019 1:58 pm

Thanks for all the responses here, puts me in a better mood already!

I think I will go print a Baby Yoda to put in the nativity display.

User avatar
alas
Posts: 2357
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:10 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by alas » Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:41 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 1:05 pm
You guys need a candy cane or something!
Chocolate. Chocolate works much better to cheer people up. Christmas is a dementor and we need chocolate.

User avatar
MoPag
Posts: 3741
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:05 pm

Re: Christmas, Bah! Humbug!

Post by MoPag » Wed Dec 18, 2019 10:44 am

Here's some Holiday cheer:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelysanders ... y-desserts

I'm totes making some of these.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 32 guests