Houston we have a problem !

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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fetchface
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by fetchface » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:36 pm

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:25 pm
Fetchface, I am in the same position as you, still doing the 1 hour thing as a way to keep the peace and help wrestle kids so she isn't an abandoned widow in sacrament meeting. How did you handle the garment transition? For me that has been one of the last hurdles.
I was quite furious with the church and focused on my own feelings pretty early on in the process and I just quit wearing them one day. My wife was really upset by how suddenly I quit wearing them. I was caught off guard by how upset she was since I was so focused myself at the time. It is probably my one regret in all that. I wish I had just given her a simple heads-up and said something like, "Just so you know, I'm about to stop wearing garments" before doing it.

The truth is, the garments just made me so angry that I couldn't stand wearing them another instant. I just wish I had communicated better.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
My blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/

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Red Ryder
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:38 pm

FiveFingerMnemonic wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:25 pm
fetchface wrote:I think that was a good choice. If you go with their program, they are just going to try to get you to do more and more. Next thing you know, they want you to be EQP or something like that.

There was a moment in my FC when tensions were high with the wife and I just decided that my wife was either going to accept me for who I am or she wasn't, but that I was going to give her the chance to know me and make that choice. If she decided that she didn't love me, then I would leave her and find someone who would. Now, it worked out well for me. I think that she sensed that she had no leverage and had some friends give her great advice at the time (I can't thank them enough). But it just as easily could have ended in divorce. This church creates monsters sometimes who will destroy their family in the name of saving it. It is truly bizarre.

I still attend sacrament meeting every week with my wife because I know that time is important to her and I can experience 1hr/wk of boredom if it is special for her, but I'm in total control of how I interact with the church, which is pretty much confined to 1hr per week plus the occasional ward activity.
Fetchface, I am in the same position as you, still doing the 1 hour thing as a way to keep the peace and help wrestle kids so she isn't an abandoned widow in sacrament meeting. How did you handle the garment transition? For me that has been one of the last hurdles.
I’m in a similar position but currently 2 hour church as we teach a fun aged primary class together and do more arts and crafts then lessons from the manual. I figure that if I was catholic or some other brand I would be sitting next to my family on a different pew so I can tolerate an hour of SM while on my phone then go do fun stuff and head home. I can be Mormon for 2 hours once a week and then plan an excused absence once a month and have fun family weekend activities.

In regards to garments, it’s no secret around here that I hate the things. I stopped wearing them over time. First the bottoms and then the tops altogether. The wife at first was bothered but overtime has adjust fine. Women tend to think not wearing garments is equal to infidelity.

My suggestion echos that of Fetch. Make your choices and decisions then let the consequences fall where they fall. Then love your spouse more than you hate the church.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

Reuben
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Reuben » Wed Jan 22, 2020 4:39 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:38 pm
I’m in a similar position but currently 2 hour church as we teach a fun aged primary class together and do more arts and crafts then lessons from the manual.
You mean like Jupiter talisman coloring pages and making paper dolls of Joseph Smith's wives?
You were born to trust, not fear. It is your birthright.

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wtfluff
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by wtfluff » Wed Jan 22, 2020 7:32 pm

Reuben wrote:
Wed Jan 22, 2020 4:39 pm
You mean like Jupiter talisman coloring pages and making paper dolls of Joseph Smith's wives?
Paper Dolls!?!?!? Absolutely brilliant! Along with finding their own seer-stones on church-grounds, making paper "translation" hats, and practicing "translating", you could get 6-9 months of lessons taken care of. :mrgreen:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

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Kishkumen
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Kishkumen » Mon Jan 27, 2020 11:16 am

Requesting an update now that Jan 25 has passed.

Mackman
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Location: Mjchigan

Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Mackman » Tue Jan 28, 2020 5:26 am

So far so good have not crossed the line yet of restoration of priesthood and temple ordinances. However I have not had the courage to bring it up again just dodging it for now.

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Corsair
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Corsair » Tue Jan 28, 2020 8:42 am

Mackman wrote:
Tue Jan 28, 2020 5:26 am
So far so good have not crossed the line yet of restoration of priesthood and temple ordinances. However I have not had the courage to bring it up again just dodging it for now.
This is not a fair situation. I entirely respect that you want to simply be part of your faith group. The overt support of historicity and exclusive truth is a challenging emotional proposition for you. Your leaders may or may not hold you to explicit theological positions.

Meanwhile, I remain an inveterate liar and don't pay tithing and never bring up Joseph Smith in a positive light. Yet, I reap all the functional benefits of the institutional LDS church just because I was, and continue to be, willing to to sacrifice the truth as they know it. And the church continues to simply not know that I am playing this game.

Good luck, Mackman! I truly hope that full engagement with the LDS church brings about everything you want.

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2bizE
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by 2bizE » Tue Jan 28, 2020 8:48 pm

Mackman wrote:
Tue Jan 28, 2020 5:26 am
So far so good have not crossed the line yet of restoration of priesthood and temple ordinances. However I have not had the courage to bring it up again just dodging it for now.
How are priesthood blessings restored? Is there an ordinance or somebody just says so?
~2bizE

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Palerider
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Palerider » Tue Jan 28, 2020 11:13 pm

2bizE wrote:
Tue Jan 28, 2020 8:48 pm
Mackman wrote:
Tue Jan 28, 2020 5:26 am
So far so good have not crossed the line yet of restoration of priesthood and temple ordinances. However I have not had the courage to bring it up again just dodging it for now.
How are priesthood blessings restored? Is there an ordinance or somebody just says so?
I believe there is a "restoration of blessings" ordinance which includes Melchizedek priesthood. Then if you're a good boy for a period of time they (1st Pres.) call SP and tell him your previous rank has been restored (high priest, whatever).
Something like this if I recall.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

Mackman
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Re: Houston we have a problem !

Post by Mackman » Wed Jan 29, 2020 7:28 am

Yes, what palerider said is the way it goes. A 1 year waiting period and all is restored by a general authority. Blah blah blah.

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