NOM

https://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/ ... f.amp.html

I thought this was pretty good. I feel awful for those poor kids who need to stay at byu, for various reasons, but cannot come out as a non-believer.

That said, not sure why anyone would go there in the first place, aside from it being affordable. The culture at byu just seem toxic, even for believers.

*Edited the subject line....stupid auto-correct.

Spicy McHaggis wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:55 pm

That said, not sure why anyone would go there in the first place, aside from it being affordable. The culture at byu just seem toxic, even for believers.

Intellectually, I found BYU culture to be comfortably progressive compared to how I was raised. For some topics, attending BYU marked the beginning of thinking more broadly and knowing more accurately. That was in the hard sciences. I expect the soft sciences and humanities would be even more progressive.

Socially, I didn't notice any toxicity because it matched what was in my head and met my expectations precisely. And I never came close to breaking the honor code.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had had a full-on faith transition before I graduated rather than 2 years after. I feel like I narrowly avoided a crash that could have left me unable to function for years.

Just another example of "We have the right to discriminate" and "Spend our resources frugally" being more important than the Golden Rule. My nephew went through this. It was rough on him. I think stress-wise it could be worse than a divorce.

I left a couple of messages in the comments. This is an unfortunate situation for students whose beliefs changed during their time at BYU. My recommendation was to "Fake it till you graduate it". Hopefully, these same students can help warn other potential students once they are free and clear of that campus. Make sure you order 3-4 extra transcripts because that university will be very unobliging if they detect you as a non-member (and yes, that particular behavior is very cult-like).

https://www.google.com/search?q=byu+stu ... e&ie=UTF-8

https://www.thedailybeast.com/lose-your ... led-at-byu

I know two people who had their lives destroyed by LDS schools. (And i dont know that many people who went to byu)

The one got expelled in the 1970’s and never recovered. The other in the early 2000’s. His life has gone nowhere since.

I think its great that they have them. I think its awful that parents can force their children into them. I think had either of those people had a different college their lives would have been radically different.

Ohhh well.

Reuben wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 25, 2019 8:30 am

Spicy McHaggis wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:55 pm

That said, not sure why anyone would go there in the first place, aside from it being affordable. The culture at byu just seem toxic, even for believers.

Intellectually, I found BYU culture to be comfortably progressive compared to how I was raised. For some topics, attending BYU marked the beginning of thinking more broadly and knowing more accurately. That was in the hard sciences. I expect the soft sciences and humanities would be even more progressive.

Socially, I didn't notice any toxicity because it matched what was in my head and met my expectations precisely. And I never came close to breaking the honor code.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had had a full-on faith transition before I graduated rather than 2 years after. I feel like I narrowly avoided a crash that could have left me unable to function for years.

This was my experience as well. No toxicity if you are fully steeped in the stew. As far as why anyone would go there, it was well worth the inconveniences of the church school to graduate with no debt.

I went to BYU because my mom worked there and I got half tuition. I didn't really consider doing anything else. It was fine for me as I was an all-in TBM for the most part.

While I was there I dated a girl who had a faith transition while at BYU. She didn't mention it to me until she had graduated and was on her way to a new city. When she did tell me it sounded like a rough ride. Initially trying to find acceptable answers through the bishop, then stake president. Then realizing she needed to just say the right things until she was done at BYU. It would have been rough being unable to really connect with anyone because your degree was at stake. Unfortunately I was an all-in TBM and gave her zero support and handled things really badly. Sorry friend. She seems to have done well for herself since then though, accomplishing the things she set her mind to.