In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter says)

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Thoughtful
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In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter says)

Post by Thoughtful » Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:05 pm

Son answered the door. He said, "You must be new here."

They said, yep, 3 weeks. 3 months.

Son, "We are distancing ourselves from this. My dad doesn't want to see you."

Lucky I didnt get the door. I'd have said, "you got 3 seconds to git off my propity. One, two..."

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Palerider
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Palerider » Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:25 pm

Ha! :P

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

Thoughtful
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Thoughtful » Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:28 pm

Palerider wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:25 pm
Ha! :P

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪
Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.

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RubinHighlander
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by RubinHighlander » Thu Jan 30, 2020 8:29 am

We are now at a point I invite them in and have an honest and civil discussion with them as to why it was we left. They never return after that.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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Red Ryder
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Red Ryder » Thu Jan 30, 2020 12:18 pm

As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. He and his counselor had visited an inactive member and upon knocking on his door were met with a gun pointed at them. They didn’t panic and were able to talk there way into the home. All the man wanted was to be left alone which they agreed was best. On the way out, they invited him to the ward BBQ and surprisingly the man and his non-member wife actually showed up. A few weeks later they showed up at church. Then a few weeks after that they brought their kids. Nearly six months later the wife and 4 kids were all baptized. This man went on to become the Bishop of the ward and all kids served missions and married in the temple. To this day my dad points out that they were led by the spirit there to bring this family closer to Christ. Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by wtfluff » Thu Jan 30, 2020 3:01 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 12:18 pm
As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. He and his counselor had visited an inactive member and upon knocking on his door were met with a gun pointed at them. They didn’t panic and were able to talk there way into the home. All the man wanted was to be left alone which they agreed was best. On the way out, they invited him to the ward BBQ and surprisingly the man and his non-member wife actually showed up. A few weeks later they showed up at church. Then a few weeks after that they brought their kids. Nearly six months later the wife and 4 kids were all baptized. This man went on to become the Bishop of the ward and all kids served missions and married in the temple. To this day my dad points out that they were led by the spirit there to bring this family closer to Christ. Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!
That's some Q15-level "Careful Wording™" right there Red Cowboy.

It is quite funny how such stories get repeated so often in LD$-Inc.

I'd wager that many of them are just like yours: Completely made up.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

We are secrets to each other

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Palerider
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Palerider » Thu Jan 30, 2020 5:34 pm

Thoughtful wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:28 pm

Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.
Oh, I get it.

He's not a well intended slow learner. He's an arrogant, "we can cure anything cuz we got this here priesthood" hot mess. :roll:
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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MoPag
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by MoPag » Thu Jan 30, 2020 8:21 pm

Thoughtful wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:28 pm
Palerider wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:25 pm
Ha! :P

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪
Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.
WOW!!!! That guy is a total piece of sh!t!!!!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Corsair
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Corsair » Thu Jan 30, 2020 9:22 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 12:18 pm
As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. ...
... Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!
Oh, nice going, Elder Paul H. Dunn. I was this close to paying tithing then I saw your honesty come out in the last line.

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slk
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by slk » Thu Jan 30, 2020 10:01 pm

RR, glad that story was made up. it was starting to piss me off. Paul H Dumb story for sure.

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Hagoth
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Hagoth » Fri Jan 31, 2020 8:04 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 12:18 pm
As a kid, my dad was a bishop when we lived in a rural part of the PNW. He and his counselor had visited an inactive member and upon knocking on his door were met with a gun pointed at them. They didn’t panic and were able to talk there way into the home. All the man wanted was to be left alone which they agreed was best. On the way out, they invited him to the ward BBQ and surprisingly the man and his non-member wife actually showed up. A few weeks later they showed up at church. Then a few weeks after that they brought their kids. Nearly six months later the wife and 4 kids were all baptized. This man went on to become the Bishop of the ward and all kids served missions and married in the temple. To this day my dad points out that they were led by the spirit there to bring this family closer to Christ. Just kidding. I just made up this whole story! I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!
Now that you have written this down someone is bound to come across it in a desperate last minute internet search to find a story for their church talk, without noticing the context. Then it goes SMV (Sacrament Meeting Viral).
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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blazerb
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by blazerb » Fri Jan 31, 2020 3:17 pm

Thoughtful wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:28 pm
Palerider wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 9:25 pm
Ha! :P

The conversation goes something like this:

"Okay guys, since we're the new Bishopric we need to go through all the ward membership records and check out everyone's activity level."

First Counselor:

"Sounds good Bishop but what about these families who have requested no contact from the church?"

Bishop:

"Yeah, we better contact them just to make sure they don't want to have any contact from us. You never know, they may have changed their minds.".........🤪
Oh, I assure you its worse. This is a "we handle child molestation in house" type of bishop. He went to HS with Spouseman. He knows kids and I have resigned and tried to personally intimidate law enforcement not to prosecute the family pedo.
I used to be the kind of member that Palerider referenced. I am horrified that you ever had to deal with the kind of bishop this really is.

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Random
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Re: In which the missionaries came to save Spouseman (Alternate title: new dippy bishop doesn't care what that letter sa

Post by Random » Fri Jan 31, 2020 9:36 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Jan 30, 2020 12:18 pm
Just kidding. I just made up this whole story!
Crap, you had me going there!

I should write articles for the Ensign or LDS Living!
You totally should - better yet, conference talks.
There are 2 Gods. One who created us. The other you created. The God you made up is just like you-thrives on flattery-makes you live in fear.

Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK

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