Any church-at-home experience to report?

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Hagoth
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Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Hagoth » Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:03 pm

Mrs. Hagoth doesn't seem to miss meetings but she likes to take the sacrament more or less regularly, so we did a home SM today. It was nice. It went like this:

I opened by welcoming the sister out to church today and announced that I, as an ordained minister of both The Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster and the Church of the Latter-Day Dude was conducting and Mrs. H was presiding.

She played a hymn.

I broke a tiny piece of bread into two tinier pieces of bread and blessed it along with two tablespoons of water in tiny sake cups.

I gave a talk. The topic was an overview of Vedanta philosophy and the life of Ramakrishna.

Then tongues of flame danced on our heads.

She commented that maybe people won't want to go back to 2-hour meetings.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Palerider
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Palerider » Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:21 pm

Sister Palerider and I are about to start listening to the RFM podcast about BofM translation.
I feel quite attentive and inspired already. :)
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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alas
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by alas » Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:35 pm

My spouse an is off delivering the sacrament to some widow in the ward. I am not at all sure that delivering the sacrament to the old ladies is worth the risk to both the two ministering brothers who go to her home and do this little ritual, and the little old ladies. All three involved today are high risk individuals. There has to be a better way.

I didn’t feel good about in home sacrament back when my MIL was on chemo and so terrified of picking up a bug from her grandchildren that she wouldn’t see them, but the two teenaged kids doing the sacrament came once a week.

There has to be a way of doing this that does not compromise the safety of high risk little old ladies.

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Red Ryder
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Red Ryder » Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:59 pm

I keep getting texts from unknown numbers asking if my family had the sacrament today.

What’s wrong with people? The FP said once a month and the local ward pushes weekly.

Don't Mormons go on vacation without worrying about the sacrament?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

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lostinmiddlemormonism
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by lostinmiddlemormonism » Sun Mar 22, 2020 1:45 pm

3 hour church became 2 hour church
2 hour church became 15 minute church

Bread and water became
Canapes and Manischewitz

Regurgiated talks by Nelson, Oaks, and Bednar became
favorite scripture lessons from Jesus H Christ (interestingly all 3 asked to share favorite scripture stories choose passages from Matthew)

The vote was 5-0 that this was better than a typical Sunday at ward house.

-lost

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Hermey
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Hermey » Sun Mar 22, 2020 1:57 pm

alas wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:35 pm
There has to be a way of doing this that does not compromise the safety of high risk little old ladies.
Temple work is done by proxy, so why can’t they do the same with the sacrament. Televise one of the brethren partaking of it for and in behalf of all of all members of the church each week. Why couldn’t they? They love to do Apostolic group blessings. This shouldn’t be any different.

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Sun Mar 22, 2020 3:37 pm

I was mountain biking on the local shoreline trail this afternoon and as I turned one corner there was a young gen Z family with toddlers in full white shirt and tie sunday best having a sacrament meeting off the side of the singletrack. It was bizarre even for Utah.

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wtfluff
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by wtfluff » Sun Mar 22, 2020 3:47 pm

Hermey wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 1:57 pm
alas wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:35 pm
There has to be a way of doing this that does not compromise the safety of high risk little old ladies.
Temple work is done by proxy, so why can’t they do the same with the sacrament. Televise one of the brethren partaking of it for and in behalf of all of all members of the church each week. Why couldn’t they? They love to do Apostolic group blessings. This shouldn’t be any different.
A simple YouTube video with Rusty pronouncing the magick incantation for the fake human flesh and human blood.

Members could put their "emblems" out while they watched the video, then pretend to be cannibals.

Because symbolic cannibalism is so much more important than anything else humans can do! (Especially in the middle of a pandemic.)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

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2bizE
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by 2bizE » Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:45 am

we had a brief sacrament. It was way better than anything at church.
We watched the first BOM YouTube video. 1 of 50 i think. It was about JS and the FV.
It is a recent video and shows JS at a table with the plates and oliver writing down what JS translates from the plates. Total BS. I had to teach my kids about the magic rock and the hat trick....
~2bizE

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MoPag
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by MoPag » Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:12 am

Church of Fortnite

I went with my kid and some of my jack mo Utah cousins via xbox live. We got in the top 10 on squads multiple times, but we never got a win. I guess I need to repent for something.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Hagoth
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Hagoth » Mon Mar 23, 2020 7:13 am

alas wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:35 pm
There has to be a better way.
Some churches are giving out apocalypse-approved sterile communion packs:
Image
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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wtfluff
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by wtfluff » Mon Mar 23, 2020 8:51 am

Hagoth wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 7:13 am
alas wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 12:35 pm
There has to be a better way.
Some churches are giving out apocalypse-approved sterile communion packs:
Image
That look$ like a money-making opportunity that LD$-Inc. $hould jump on immediately!
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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Hagoth
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Hagoth » Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:21 pm

Here's another. Think how cheap they would be to produce with water instead of wine and compressed day-old Wonder Bread.
Image
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

Reuben
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Reuben » Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:15 pm

As is typical, FIL has gone full-bore zealot, so my wife's entire family is doing video conferences with an hour SM and an hour SS. Six children and their spouses - except me - and 25 grandchildren.

If you looked at this man's blood under a microscope, you would see that each cell is actually a tiny Angel Moroni.
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.

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Corsair
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Corsair » Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:34 pm

Reuben wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:15 pm
If you looked at this man's blood under a microscope, you would see that each cell is actually a tiny Angel Moroni.
Does the angel Moroni still have his trumpet?

Out of the religious armistice between my wife and I, our Sunday meetings have been short. Opening song, prayer, sacrament, brief "Come Follow Me", and closing prayer. I have taken over the lesson so it sounds vaguely LDS, but I add my own spin. Then we go back to whatever we were doing. It's actually pleasant in my own slacker way.

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wtfluff
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by wtfluff » Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:12 pm

Reuben wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:15 pm
As is typical, FIL has gone full-bore zealot, so my wife's entire family is doing video conferences with an hour SM and an hour SS. Six children and their spouses - except me - and 25 grandchildren.

If you looked at this man's blood under a microscope, you would see that each cell is actually a tiny Angel Moroni.
Dear Zeus, this leaves me almost speechless.

Even as a believer, I would have scoffed at any sort of "parental unit" trying to hijack mine and my family's religious holiday.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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Hagoth
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by Hagoth » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:22 pm

wtfluff wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:12 pm
Even as a believer, I would have scoffed at any sort of "parental unit" trying to hijack mine and my family's religious holiday.
Are all of these people doing it happily and voluntarily or would many of them just as soon switch off the webcam and get on with their Sunday? I guess it's unthinkable (except for brave, brave Sir Reuben) to just say, "no thanks, we'll just do it our way."
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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A New Name
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by A New Name » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:33 pm

I saw on another board (maybe reddit/latterdaysaints) that the area president someplace in the US issued a firm order that the members are NOT to conduct a sacrament meeting. He said only the prophet can authorized a sacrament meeting, and he has not done so. He said members can sing and have an opening prater, then bless and pass the sacrament,. Then study the CFM program. No meetings!

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:37 pm

A New Name wrote:I saw on another board (maybe reddit/latterdaysaints) that the area president someplace in the US issued a firm order that the members are NOT to conduct a sacrament meeting. He said only the prophet can authorized a sacrament meeting, and he has not done so. He said members can sing and have an opening prater, then bless and pass the sacrament,. Then study the CFM program. No meetings!
Of course, if you start having your own meetings you get schisms like Lori and Chad Daybell, Julie Rowe and the like. People start having prophecies, speaking in tongues, killing spouses and kids, etc.

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moksha
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Re: Any church-at-home experience to report?

Post by moksha » Mon Mar 23, 2020 5:38 pm

Hagoth wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:21 pm
Here's another. Think how cheap they would be to produce with water instead of wine and compressed day-old Wonder Bread.
Any idea how much the Church should charge the customers per packet?



BTW, I had a prayer and meditation followed by listening to Finlandia. For an extra special occasion, I will listen to the Brandenburg Concerto #3.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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