Post Mo Contact

[Just This Guy]

DW and I resigned in late 2018. We went through quitemormon.org and part of that includes a do-not-contact clause. Technically we have 2 kids on the records still. We just have never gotten around to having their records removed. They are un-baptized, but are both over 8 now.

It seams like we have become a project.

DD (age 9, unbaptized member of record) has been regularly getting mail from the Primary president, even though she doesn't go. It's normally mild bible stuff.

Lately, DW has been a couple random word members who have sent FB messages saying that she has been missed. Today she got a invite from the ward's FB page.

Oddly enough, no one bothers to contact me.

So what is reasonable, and what is not? At what point are they violating the no contact clause and what do you do then?

Thoughts?

[Red Ryder]

I think with home church the members feel a drastic need to remind the rest of the members just how important church is. So it’s created a whole new crazy level of attempted contact to those who don’t need or want the church.

If it doesn’t bother you then ignore.

Since it’s children and they are over 8, they will continue to be a target for primary and even missionaries. I hate to say it but a fair share of my baptisms on my mission were 9 year old and up. Parents were inactive.

If it doesn’t bother you then ignore. If it does then pursue getting their names removed.

To Mormons “Do not contact” doesn’t mean what we think it means. It means contact anyway and let them feel the spirit and they will come running back to church with arms open! Keep trying, you can’t turn your back on the church once you know, you know??

[Palerider]

Yep. I think having the children's names removed will elicit a response from those random ward members like:

"Well, that contact went over well....."

[2bizE]

I would have your kids removed. Then if the ward contacts any of you, launch a $124 Billion civil lawsuit or a $20,000 small claims lawsuit.

[RubinHighlander]

Congratulations!

We have received confirmation from the church's law firm, Kirton McKonkie, that your name has been removed from the church's records.

The church no longer provides confirmation letters to QuitMormon.com. This email is the only confirmation avaiable at this time, but we plan to add an official QuitMormon.com resignation certificate, and will contact you when it's available.

Got a little Easter gift from the new bishop of our old ward. It was a white cotton washcloth, tied up to look like a bunny.
We have not been to that church in 3 years. We had our names removed April of last year. I guess it take MLS about of year to sync up with HQ and have our names disappear? I'm guessing they stay on there forever, even as an exmo.

I wonder, if you could subpoena a membership record list from the local db and find out if your name is still there, would that put LDS corp liable?

[Hermey]

It is flat out inappropriate for them to be contacting your children directly. In no way is this justifiable. Even if you were active members, this is inappropriate without your express permission for the contact. Have their names removed and also call those directly that are initiating the contact. Let them know it is inappropriate and not welcome. Set the boundaries!

[Hagoth]

For an adult, appreciative of their concerns but unruffled by their implied assumptions isn't a bad way to go. I have managed to remain on good terms with my neighbors/ward members. They no longer heavy-hand me because they see how easily I shrug it off and no one ever, ever tries to confront me about my beliefs or lack thereof, at least not after the first few attempts to fix me didn't go so well.

But then my kids are grown. I would probably feel very differently if it felt like they were trying to get to them behind my back.

[Wonderment]

To Mormons “Do not contact” doesn’t mean what we think it means. It means contact anyway and let them feel the spirit and they will come running back to church with arms open! Keep trying, you can’t turn your back on the church once you know, you know??

Agreed. "Do not contact" means, "Maybe in a little while, try again. Next time, love-bomb them with cookies, home-made jam, and so forth."

[glass shelf]

It is flat out inappropriate for them to be contacting your children directly. In no way is this justifiable. Even if you were active members, this is inappropriate without your express permission for the contact. Have their names removed and also call those directly that are initiating the contact. Let them know it is inappropriate and not welcome. Set the boundaries!

So much this. It's completely, 100% inappropriate behavior.

Let's imagine you decided you no longer wanted to participate in a community family soccer league but forgot to take your kids' names off the list. Then a coach keeps trying to contact your kids directly and get them to participate. Would this be appropriate in any way? Nope. Religion doesn't make it better.