Which plant is more (or less) holy?

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moksha
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Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by moksha » Tue May 05, 2020 10:43 am

Coffee or tea? Which one ranks higher or lower on the LDS holiness index? Which one was most valiant in the Heaven War?
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha
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2bizE
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by 2bizE » Tue May 05, 2020 4:26 pm

Coffee is better. The early members were European thus they brought tea habits along with them...incidentally, tea is also considered one of the healthiest drinks on earth.
~2bizE
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Thoughtful
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by Thoughtful » Tue May 05, 2020 9:47 pm

Tea and (medical) pot are both holier than coffee.
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Red Ryder
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by Red Ryder » Wed May 06, 2020 11:07 am

Silly Penguin!

Everyone knows wheat is the holy plant of Holies!

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RubinHighlander
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by RubinHighlander » Wed May 06, 2020 11:52 am

And what about tobacco? Where was it during the war in heaven? Got any sick cattle up there? Perhaps a bruised ego?
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
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Spicy McHaggis
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by Spicy McHaggis » Wed May 06, 2020 3:35 pm

Don't forget olive oil, that shit literally heals the sick!
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blazerb
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by blazerb » Thu May 07, 2020 7:20 am

Gopher wood. It saved 8 souls so that humanity could continue on Earth after the great flood.
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Hagoth
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Re: Which plant is more (or less) holy?

Post by Hagoth » Thu May 07, 2020 6:57 pm

I think this is the proper order of drinks within the LDS worldview:

Hellish

Strong drinks (anything your Jackmormon cousin can't buy at Smith's - Mormons can't distinguish between the different types, they're all "booze")
Beer
Coffee (Mormon brains have no category for iced coffee, so it just floats around randomly on the upper part of this list)
Decaffeinated coffee (appearance of evil)
Black Tea
Green Tea
Ice Tea/Arnold Palmer (not a hot drink but still kinda evil)
Apple beer (appearance of evil)
Red Bull
Caffeinated soda
Caffeinated diet soda
Decaf soda
Decaf diet soda
Sunny D, Prune Juice, and other stuff you can concentrate from fruit
Wine (actually grape juice if the Bible were translated correctly) because it's what Jesus drank
Kool-Aid
Sacrament water

Heavenly
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
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