The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

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Red Ryder
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The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm

Since it’s a slow church news day we are now taking (unauthorized) questions for Fluff...

I’ll go first.

Q: if you lived back in Joseph Smith’s time, would you have been the Baker; the Blacksmith; or the Candlestick maker?

Q: How would you have reacted to Joseph Smith secretly taking your wife as a plural wife when you were off on a mission?

Q: if you worked for the Nauvoo Expositor prior to the destruction of the printing press, what typos would you purposely add to Mormon print jobs?

Q: If you were called to be the next prophet, what fundamental changes would you make to the church?
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by wtfluff » Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:12 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm
Since it’s a slow church news day we are now taking (unauthorized) questions for Fluff...
Ha! I reserve the right to ignore any questions as I see fit, and/or provide "Carefully Worded Denials™."

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm
I’ll go first.

Q: if you lived back in Joseph Smith’s time, would you have been the Baker; the Blacksmith; or the Candlestick maker?
First gut reaction: Blacksmith. It's fun "making" stuff, and playing with fire, ya know?

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm
Q: How would you have reacted to Joseph Smith secretly taking your wife as a plural wife when you were off on a mission?
Again, first gut reaction in my current mindset: Do I own a firearm? Actually, it doesn't matter; I'm the blacksmith, I'll make a sword and take care of good ol' Joe that way. Whether I'm part of the castration team, or I just run him through myself, I don't care.

From a believer's mindset: I'm pretty sure I would have gone right along with Joe, just like my believing ancestors did. :(

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm
Q: if you worked for the Nauvoo Expositor prior to the destruction of the printing press, what typos would you purposely add to Mormon print jobs?
Hmm. I've got no idea. Maybe: MORmON, MORONi, and MORONihaha?

Again, based on my life as a believer, I doubt I would have done anything other than follow Joe. I probably would have been one of the folks destroying the press.

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm
Q: If you were called to be the next prophet, what fundamental changes would you make to the church?
Post fake pictures of myself vacuuming on Social Medias!!!! Oh, wait, that isn't any sort of change.

I would like to take the Shock and Awe campaign. Fire all the current "leadership." Shut down the corporation(s) and all subsidiaries. Sell off all of the real-estate. Give all of the billions to real non-profit charities. Like any of that could ever happen.

So the other alternative is to disavow all the previous bullshit and lies, and try to become more like the Community of Christ, and use the Corporation's™ resources for the betterment of humankind, instead of the betterment of the Corporation™.


EDIT: How could I forget this???? Are we still in the middle of a global pandemic when I become CEO? My first "guidance" would be to encourage LD$-Inc. followers to heed the guidance of scientists and healthcare professionals. Pretending to be a polygamist Freemason now and then doesn't matter. Pretending to eat demigod flesh, and drink demigod blood every week doesn't matter. Human life is much more important. TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER. If that means NOT meeting together oft, and wearing a piece of cloth over your nose and mouth, do it.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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Hagoth
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by Hagoth » Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:00 pm

-Considering that changes to the temple are becoming commonplace, how would you modify or repurpose the ceremony and/or building?

-If you found yourself the corporate sole of a company that had, oh let's say $130 billion in available funds, what are some specific ways you might use it? (don't forget your old pals)

-How would you re-staff the Q15? Fictional characters are not entirely off the table.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

Reuben
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by Reuben » Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:59 pm

Q. If you could slap a Book of Mormon character into next Tuesday, who would it be, and why?

Q. What's your favorite Mormon commandment to break that will surely earn you TK smoothie?

Q. Suppose you could send one 280-character message to every member of your ward as if it came from the bishop. What would you send?
You were born to trust, not fear. It is your birthright.

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moksha
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by moksha » Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:01 pm

wtfluff wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:12 pm
Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 1:01 pm
Q: How would you have reacted to Joseph Smith secretly taking your wife as a plural wife when you were off on a mission?
Actually, it doesn't matter; I'm the blacksmith...
Even the best-crafted chastity belt could be breached by a determined priesthood key.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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2bizE
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by 2bizE » Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:03 pm

Fluff,
Who is your favorite Mormon character from the past?
Who is your favorite Mormon person of the present?
~2bizE

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wtfluff
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by wtfluff » Tue Jul 28, 2020 10:33 pm

Hagoth wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:00 pm
-Considering that changes to the temple are becoming commonplace, how would you modify or repurpose the ceremony and/or building?
Good grief. Red didn't say that the questions were going to get hard. :?

The temple eh? As you quite likely know, I detest the temple. The best thing that can happen to it is that it just goes away. Maybe a thought or two will bounce around in the fluff, and I can come up with something better at some point, but it's doubtfull.

If it absolutely has to stay, then the first thing that has to change is the recommend interview. All the questions get dropped except the last one, which changes to: "Do you want to go to the temple? Yes? Well then, here's your recommend."

Hagoth wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:00 pm
-If you found yourself the corporate sole of a company that had, oh let's say $130 billion in available funds, what are some specific ways you might use it? (don't forget your old pals)
Again with the hard questions eh?

It would definitely take a lot of time to research which charities the mounds of gold would go to, and I of course would need a lot of NOMmie consultants, right? Our consulting fee would be "sufficient for our needs" eh?

Hagoth wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:00 pm
-How would you re-staff the Q15? Fictional characters are not entirely off the table.
Well, if fictional characters are not entirely off the table, I'm gonna go knee-jerk and start bringing back dead people.

Neil Peart (I think I'd have to pass my CEO torch to him.)
Ric Ocasek
Pat Torpey
Vinnie Paul Abbott
Chester Bennington
Chris Cornell

And the list goes on. Probably have to do rotating "assignments."

How are the acoustics in the great-and-spacious conference center? (If we ever get to do that type of stuff again...)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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wtfluff
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by wtfluff » Tue Jul 28, 2020 10:55 pm

Reuben wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:59 pm
Q. If you could slap a Book of Mormon character into next Tuesday, who would it be, and why?
How 'bout the author? It's obvious why.

If not Joe, then how 'bout Jared, and/or his bro Mahonri?

I mean... Magical anti-gravity submarines and glowing rocks? Bees and animals and humans and food and magic rocks all getting "tossed about" inside those dishes? REALLY? Yeah, that was probably one of the first things I "shelved" and ignored for 30 or 40 years.


Reuben wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:59 pm
Q. What's your favorite Mormon commandment to break that will surely earn you TK smoothie?
Evil speaking of Dallin F. Oaks, Rusty Nelson, and any of the other fake, useless prophets, seers and revelators


Reuben wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:59 pm
Q. Suppose you could send one 280-character message to every member of your ward as if it came from the bishop. What would you send?
As if I am the bishop eh?

"Please read and study the gospel topics essays - don't skip the footnotes."

(With links to all of the essays - which I'm not gonna post here...)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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wtfluff
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by wtfluff » Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:08 pm

2bizE wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:03 pm
Who is your favorite Mormon character from the past?
Captain Moroni. There was a time early in my MORmON career when Alma 48:17 meant quite a lot to me.
Alma 48:17 wrote:Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.


2bizE wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:03 pm
Who is your favorite Mormon person of the present?
"Active" Mormon? John Hamer. (Hi John!)

"Less Active:" Hagoth. :mrgreen:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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blazerb
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by blazerb » Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:51 am

Which gospel topics essay do you think should be read first?

Other than JS, which president of the church would you want to slap into next Tuesday?

If you have to choose, do you wear shorts or a tank top?

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Hagoth
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by Hagoth » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:05 am

wtfluff wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 10:33 pm
Hagoth wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 6:00 pm
-Considering that changes to the temple are becoming commonplace, how would you modify or repurpose the ceremony and/or building?
Good grief. Red didn't say that the questions were going to get hard. :?

The temple eh? As you quite likely know, I detest the temple. The best thing that can happen to it is that it just goes away. Maybe a thought or two will bounce around in the fluff, and I can come up with something better at some point, but it's doubtfull.
In case you happen to fin find yourself in the position to make that decision, please consider bowling alleys.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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wtfluff
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by wtfluff » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:46 am

blazerb wrote:
Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:51 am
Which gospel topics essay do you think should be read first?
- Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo
- First Vision Accounts
- Book of Mormon Translation
- Translation and Historicity of the Book of Abraham
- Race and the Priesthood
- Book of Moromon and DNA Studies


blazerb wrote:
Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:51 am
Other than JS, which president of the church would you want to slap into next Tuesday?
Brigham Young


blazerb wrote:
Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:51 am
If you have to choose, do you wear shorts or a tank top?
Shorts
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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wtfluff
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Re: The unauthorized AMA with Fluffy!

Post by wtfluff » Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:47 am

Hagoth wrote:
Wed Jul 29, 2020 7:05 am
In case you happen to fin find yourself in the position to make that decision, please consider bowling alleys.
Are bowling alleys a good "investment?" :P
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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