Cutting ties

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Angel
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Cutting ties

Post by Angel » Tue Aug 18, 2020 7:26 pm

so, changes at home (kid now gone to college), have urged me to make changes too. Time for a new chapter. Time to officially cut ties.

Questions: What is the simplest, quiet way to do this? I'm not going to write any long letters or anything, just a simple one sentence, "please remove my records" will do. Also, how do I change familysearch account to non-member? Any other loose ends to tie up?
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Red Ryder
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Aug 18, 2020 8:19 pm

How about something like this:

Image

Seriously, just write a letter and mail it to the church records department. No need to notarize if you’re not using that one website.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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RubinHighlander
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Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Cutting ties

Post by RubinHighlander » Wed Aug 19, 2020 3:40 pm

Angel wrote:
Tue Aug 18, 2020 7:26 pm
so, changes at home (kid now gone to college), have urged me to make changes too. Time for a new chapter. Time to officially cut ties.

Questions: What is the simplest, quiet way to do this? I'm not going to write any long letters or anything, just a simple one sentence, "please remove my records" will do. Also, how do I change familysearch account to non-member? Any other loose ends to tie up?
Good for you Angel! I used Quitemormon.com - it took a while because TSCC turned over resignations to their legal department. It was just a couple of months delayed before we finally got the official notice it was done. Quitmormon will require validation of identity, showing your ID and signing the form they provide in front of a notary. I'm guessing this process is just for Quitmormon because they are a legal firm representing someone. As Red said, I would guess you can still go direct, but I would look into that. I sent a resignation email at the local level, because we were getting hounded and I had callings I had to resign from. It was about a year later we actually had our names removed via Quitmormon. Good luck!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
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Angel
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Angel » Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:28 am

The deed is done. We'll see how long it takes.
Here's to new beginnings, happy Friday everyone!!
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Linked
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Linked » Fri Aug 21, 2020 11:04 am

Angel wrote:
Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:28 am
The deed is done. We'll see how long it takes.
Here's to new beginnings, happy Friday everyone!!
Congrats Angel! I'm sure it will be nice to not have that in the back of your mind. How did you end up doing it?
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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nibbler
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by nibbler » Fri Aug 21, 2020 12:24 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Aug 18, 2020 8:19 pm
Seriously, just write a letter and mail it to the church records department. No need to notarize if you’re not using that one website.
My parsing of the general handbook section 32.14.9 is that if you go directly through your bishop it can be a simple signed letter. If you go directly to church HQ (bypass the BP/SP) the letter has to be signed and notarized. So if you didn't involve the bishop the letter would have to be notarized regardless of whether you send it on your own or through quitmromon.

I think the goal is that they want to make sure the person sending the letter is who they say they are. No sending in letters of resignation for and in behalf of someone else.
We see things not as they are, but as we are ourselves. - H.M. Tomlinson

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Angel
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Angel » Fri Aug 21, 2020 6:31 pm

Linked wrote:
Fri Aug 21, 2020 11:04 am
Angel wrote:
Fri Aug 21, 2020 10:28 am
The deed is done. We'll see how long it takes.
Here's to new beginnings, happy Friday everyone!!
Congrats Angel! I'm sure it will be nice to not have that in the back of your mind. How did you end up doing it?
Simple quick email to the bishop. He responded wanting to meet, I replied there was no need to meet. They are good people, the church just isn't true.

"spiritual but not affiliated", that is what fits for me. All the different churches, if there is a God, I think the purpose of all the religious groups is to teach community for that first half of the journey, but introduce enough problems and contention that everyone is able to explore individual paths by the end. It feels peaceful now.

Still have not told DH - a few things are still difficult to talk about with him... hoping to get through the conversation, perhaps on Sunday (when we go for our bike rides, and sit by the lake). Feels like the conversation will be easier if it is a simple "I have resigned", rather than "I am going to resign". No need to argue or try to postpone anything. Marriage - it is better when people are independent. No vows broken, no actual sealing power in the church to begin with. Not trying to be spiritual to gain a reward - that's like people following Jesus because they want free food... the free food isn't what spirituality is supposed to be about. No ball and chains.

New beginnings.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Hagoth
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Hagoth » Sat Aug 22, 2020 6:06 am

Angel wrote:
Fri Aug 21, 2020 6:31 pm
...I think the purpose of all the religious groups is to teach community for that first half of the journey, but introduce enough problems and contention that everyone is able to explore individual paths by the end.
My old boss, who grew up Catholic, used to say, "a religion is a great thing to grow out of."

I also really like Alan Watts' perspective. He says religion should serve the same purpose as a door, to help you get from one place to another. Once you pass through it there's no reason to hang around in the doorway. The problem with churches is that they are like revolving doors that have forgotten their purpose. They think the door is more important than the destination, and their job is to keep you going around and around in the door for the rest of your life.

Best of luck, Angel. I hope your conversation is positive and productive.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Angel
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Angel » Sat Aug 29, 2020 6:57 pm

Conversation was short and simple with the hubby, he is out too (just not formally resigned).

I feel at peace, lucky this transition is going smoothly.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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blazerb
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by blazerb » Sun Aug 30, 2020 4:43 pm

Congratulations!

It sounds like you are moving on happily.

Wonderment
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Wonderment » Sun Aug 30, 2020 10:32 pm

Angel wrote:
Sat Aug 29, 2020 6:57 pm
Conversation was short and simple with the hubby, he is out too (just not formally resigned).

I feel at peace, lucky this transition is going smoothly.
Congratulations ! That's a great accomplishment. I know the feeling of relief and peacefulness. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. 8-)

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Angel
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by Angel » Sun Sep 06, 2020 9:19 pm

Thank you!!

Chatting with someone else who had recently left and was still in the dark stages of it all... I did not want to go back there, but knew it might be helpful to them if I let my mind remember what it was like.... Part of me wants to get out of all the ex-mo groups, never admit having ever been a member, just completely walk away... another part of me really appreciates ex-mo's, some really fun people who are able to think and change there. It can be healthy to laugh at past mistakes.

Life is good.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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MoPag
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Re: Cutting ties

Post by MoPag » Mon Sep 07, 2020 9:06 am

Way to go Angel!!

A beautiful new beginning awaits you!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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