6 months...

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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lostinmiddlemormonism
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6 months...

Post by lostinmiddlemormonism » Mon Aug 31, 2020 4:51 am

...no church.

Isn't it wonderful? :)

-lost

Mackman
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Mackman » Mon Aug 31, 2020 6:40 am

Yes it has been great !!!! We started back in person a month ago but I have attended only once !!!! It is a Sacrament meeting lasting one hour.

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Red Ryder
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Aug 31, 2020 11:46 am

It’s been really good for me not to be attending in person as it has significantly reduced my Sunday church anxiety.

However, I’m not so sure it’s reduced the spousehold anxiety as family home church has replaced physical worship. Sister R likes to participate with her family gathering which is ok because it’s pretty informal. My family doesn’t dress up or anything like that even though everyone else does. However her parents and a BIL like to drone on and on which has become super annoying. So what started off as a 20 minute “sacrament meeting” has turned into a longer ping pong game of Mormon comments like this:

BIL: we have to have faith so we can get to know the the Savior.

MIL: it’s more than faith, we have to be obedient so we can personally KNOW that Jesus Christ is our Savior.

BIL: obedience is only a part of our testimony. We have to be FULLY COMMITTED to the Gospel Of Jesus Christ so that me KNOW him and return to live again with our Heavenly Father.

MIL: well... in my daily morning scripture studies... I’ve been reading in Helaman, you know....following the Come Follow Me schedule.... I’ve realized you do have to be fully committed but also extremely diligent to NEVER let your guard down as Satan has only gotten smarter and smarter in our day.

BIL: I agree, it’s giving all we can to build up the kingdom of God here on earth, so that we can be valiant and live again with God our eternal father in Heaven, through the atonement of His Son Jesus Christ, and to be happy according to the plan of salvation, through scripture study, faith in Jesus Christ, and devotion to living the commandments, following the prophet, and understanding our role in his divine plan.

MIL: well said.... it’s super important we follow the prophet in our day as he’s been assigned as the Lord’s mouthpiece on earth to witness to us that the time is near for the savior to return! We have to be prepared. We can prepare by reading the scriptures, partaking of the sacrament, and worshipping our savior in our actions, thoughts, and intentions as we serve our fellow neighbors in this time of need.

RR: can we just shut the F up so we can end this pointless meeting and go home?

I seriously don’t know how these people can’t see the stupidity going on here?

So yeah, while it’s been nice to stay home from church, I can’t seem to escape The Mormon Insane Asylum. :lol:
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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græy
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Re: 6 months...

Post by græy » Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:17 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 11:46 am
However, I’m not so sure it’s reduced the spousehold anxiety as family home church has replaced physical worship. Sister R likes to participate with her family gathering which is ok because it’s pretty informal. My family doesn’t dress up or anything like that even though everyone else does. However her parents and a BIL like to drone on and on which has become super annoying. So what started off as a 20 minute “sacrament meeting” has turned into a longer ping pong game of Mormon comments
Man, that would be anxiety inducing!

My DW insists that we all dress up and I have to do sacrament service, after which she does a (usually) quick primary sharing time style lesson for the kids. The whole thing only lasts about 25 minutes, but the kids all hate it and DW says my lack of motivation is what makes it hard for them. :roll:
I'm better than dirt... well most dirt. Not that fancy store bought stuff, I can't compete with that... full of nutrients and everything. -Moe Sizlack

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Red Ryder
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:40 pm

græy wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:17 pm
Man, that would be anxiety inducing!

My DW insists that we all dress up and I have to do sacrament service, after which she does a (usually) quick primary sharing time style lesson for the kids. The whole thing only lasts about 25 minutes, but the kids all hate it and DW says my lack of motivation is what makes it hard for them. :roll:
Wait until your kids are older and start to disconnect. You’ll take the blame because of this lack of motivation.

Not because the church is not true.

But because you stopped believing.

It sucks.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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2bizE
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Re: 6 months...

Post by 2bizE » Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:59 pm

lostinmiddlemormonism wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 4:51 am
...no church.

Isn't it wonderful? :)

-lost
It has been absolutely amazing.
~2bizE

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Linked
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Linked » Mon Aug 31, 2020 1:27 pm

lostinmiddlemormonism wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 4:51 am
...no church.

Isn't it wonderful? :)

-lost
Just awesome! My DW has been pretty chill about it. No Sunday clothes, a short lesson for the kids that isn't dogmatic every couple weeks or so. My church-related anxiety is way down. I am thinking this is the best possible point to step away, so barring some deal-making by DW I don't think I'll be going back.
Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:40 pm
græy wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:17 pm
Man, that would be anxiety inducing!

My DW insists that we all dress up and I have to do sacrament service, after which she does a (usually) quick primary sharing time style lesson for the kids. The whole thing only lasts about 25 minutes, but the kids all hate it and DW says my lack of motivation is what makes it hard for them. :roll:
Wait until your kids are older and start to disconnect. You’ll take the blame because of this lack of motivation.

Not because the church is not true.

But because you stopped believing.

It sucks.
A believing friend of mine still gets the blame for his kids lack of motivation. Sometimes even believing isn't enough... This church really screws with people.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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2bizE
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Re: 6 months...

Post by 2bizE » Mon Aug 31, 2020 1:51 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 11:46 am
It’s been really good for me not to be attending in person as it has significantly reduced my Sunday church anxiety.

However, I’m not so sure it’s reduced the spousehold anxiety as family home church has replaced physical worship. Sister R likes to participate with her family gathering which is ok because it’s pretty informal. My family doesn’t dress up or anything like that even though everyone else does. However her parents and a BIL like to drone on and on which has become super annoying. So what started off as a 20 minute “sacrament meeting” has turned into a longer ping pong game of Mormon comments like this:

BIL: we have to have faith so we can get to know the the Savior.

MIL: it’s more than faith, we have to be obedient so we can personally KNOW that Jesus Christ is our Savior.

BIL: obedience is only a part of our testimony. We have to be FULLY COMMITTED to the Gospel Of Jesus Christ so that me KNOW him and return to live again with our Heavenly Father.

MIL: well... in my daily morning scripture studies... I’ve been reading in Helaman, you know....following the Come Follow Me schedule.... I’ve realized you do have to be fully committed but also extremely diligent to NEVER let your guard down as Satan has only gotten smarter and smarter in our day.

BIL: I agree, it’s giving all we can to build up the kingdom of God here on earth, so that we can be valiant and live again with God our eternal father in Heaven, through the atonement of His Son Jesus Christ, and to be happy according to the plan of salvation, through scripture study, faith in Jesus Christ, and devotion to living the commandments, following the prophet, and understanding our role in his divine plan.

MIL: well said.... it’s super important we follow the prophet in our day as he’s been assigned as the Lord’s mouthpiece on earth to witness to us that the time is near for the savior to return! We have to be prepared. We can prepare by reading the scriptures, partaking of the sacrament, and worshipping our savior in our actions, thoughts, and intentions as we serve our fellow neighbors in this time of need.

RR: can we just shut the F up so we can end this pointless meeting and go home?

I seriously don’t know how these people can’t see the stupidity going on here?

So yeah, while it’s been nice to stay home from church, I can’t seem to escape The Mormon Insane Asylum. :lol:
RR,
I thought you were going to say something like,
“I find it amazing that bible scholars agree that the Tower of Babel was simply a myth to explain how different languages originated. Why do you suppose that myth is found in the Book of Mormon?”
~2bizE

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Mormorrisey
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Mormorrisey » Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:07 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 11:46 am
It’s been really good for me not to be attending in person as it has significantly reduced my Sunday church anxiety.

However, I’m not so sure it’s reduced the spousehold anxiety as family home church has replaced physical worship. Sister R likes to participate with her family gathering which is ok because it’s pretty informal. My family doesn’t dress up or anything like that even though everyone else does. However her parents and a BIL like to drone on and on which has become super annoying. So what started off as a 20 minute “sacrament meeting” has turned into a longer ping pong game of Mormon comments like this:

BIL: we have to have faith so we can get to know the the Savior.

MIL: it’s more than faith, we have to be obedient so we can personally KNOW that Jesus Christ is our Savior.

BIL: obedience is only a part of our testimony. We have to be FULLY COMMITTED to the Gospel Of Jesus Christ so that me KNOW him and return to live again with our Heavenly Father.

MIL: well... in my daily morning scripture studies... I’ve been reading in Helaman, you know....following the Come Follow Me schedule.... I’ve realized you do have to be fully committed but also extremely diligent to NEVER let your guard down as Satan has only gotten smarter and smarter in our day.

BIL: I agree, it’s giving all we can to build up the kingdom of God here on earth, so that we can be valiant and live again with God our eternal father in Heaven, through the atonement of His Son Jesus Christ, and to be happy according to the plan of salvation, through scripture study, faith in Jesus Christ, and devotion to living the commandments, following the prophet, and understanding our role in his divine plan.

MIL: well said.... it’s super important we follow the prophet in our day as he’s been assigned as the Lord’s mouthpiece on earth to witness to us that the time is near for the savior to return! We have to be prepared. We can prepare by reading the scriptures, partaking of the sacrament, and worshipping our savior in our actions, thoughts, and intentions as we serve our fellow neighbors in this time of need.

RR: can we just shut the F up so we can end this pointless meeting and go home?

I seriously don’t know how these people can’t see the stupidity going on here?

So yeah, while it’s been nice to stay home from church, I can’t seem to escape The Mormon Insane Asylum. :lol:
Reading this was just so painful - with the added realization that you can't just pull out your phone and go on NOM to take the pain away. Do you have to staple your eyeballs to your eyelids to keep them from rolling uncontrollably?

Sitting through a one-upping virtue signalling meeting like this should be described as one of the circles of hell.

Is this where I should admit that my home church has been an apathetic lame-ass pile of nothing? We have the sacrament, AND THAT'S IT. No commentary, no lesson, just nothing, everybody just goes their separate way afterward. I'm still largely in shock that it's been this good. I'm so sorry this isn't the case for you.
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."

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MoPag
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Re: 6 months...

Post by MoPag » Tue Sep 01, 2020 7:34 pm

lostinmiddlemormonism wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 4:51 am
...no church.

Isn't it wonderful? :)

-lost
It's been heavenly...and it's done wonders for my mental health. I might never go back. :twisted:
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

lostinmiddlemormonism
Posts: 355
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Re: 6 months...

Post by lostinmiddlemormonism » Wed Sep 02, 2020 5:04 am

MoPag wrote:
Tue Sep 01, 2020 7:34 pm
lostinmiddlemormonism wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 4:51 am
...no church.

Isn't it wonderful? :)

-lost
It's been heavenly...and it's done wonders for my mental health. I might never go back. :twisted:
I think a lot of people might never go back...I"m sure that is EXACTLY what "the bruthrun" are afraid of, which is why they are trying to hustle as many wards and branches into limited reopening as quick as they can.

-lost

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wtfluff
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Re: 6 months...

Post by wtfluff » Wed Sep 02, 2020 8:48 am

Mormorrisey wrote:
Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:07 pm
Sitting through a one-upping virtue signalling meeting like this should be described as one of the circles of hell.
I was thinking a bit of the same reading through RR's family "discussion." Virtue signaling came to mind, but there's another term I would use that's probably not appropriate to mention here on NOM.

There's a family I know that basically does this type of stuff publicly on the Social Medias. When I want that kind of torturous entertainment I can go looking for it. My own family are definitely hardcore COJCOLd$™ MORmONs, but I don't ever remember that type of one-upmanship, thankfully.
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

lostinmiddlemormonism
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Re: 6 months...

Post by lostinmiddlemormonism » Wed Sep 02, 2020 12:56 pm

What has actually been cool for us is that we have had a "house church" service each week. The first week it was short (15-20) minutes but has expanded to where it is typically an hour or so. Just me DW and the three kids, but the oldest two are college students, and now that classes have resumed they even request to come home for the weekend to be in house church. These same to stopped attending the local Morg when they graduated HS.

We have lessons on call kinds of things including: racism, mysogyny, the essays, the beatitudes...whoever is leading for the week gets to pick the topic. We had a lesson on swing dancing and how it relates to trust. We had a lesson on The Tale of Two Cities. It is fun. Everyone can express their opinion, there is no judgement, it is ok if we disagree and we all get to learn something new.

So fun in fact, that now my TBM wife doesn't want to go back. Her analogy, "Why should I go back to dial up when I have experiences high speed wireless?" Why indeed?

-lost

I get that not everyone's house church experience has been positive...

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Corsair
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Corsair » Wed Sep 02, 2020 4:47 pm

My dear, TBM wife has consistently wanted to do home church each week. For my own sanity, and for my children, I have presided over a weekly sacrament and brief "Come Follow Me" lesson every week since March. My goal has been to keep my semi-believing children engaged by pulling out something interesting in each lesson. I consistently refer to the story in the Book of Mormon as if we might simply be pulling life lessons out of "The Lord of the Rings". It's always short and it has been appreciated by both children and believing spouse.

I always look over the appropriate lesson from our own annotatedbom. This helps me come up with something that will not accidentally cause me to say anything cynical. In these lessons I have quoted Tolkien, Kierkegaard, Thomas Acquinas, Aristotle, and virtually no Mormons. My family gets a brief and vaguely Christian morality lesson each week and I get moral support from believing relatives. I am probably the crazy person in this situation.

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Hagoth
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Hagoth » Wed Sep 02, 2020 8:03 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Aug 31, 2020 11:46 am
So what started off as a 20 minute “sacrament meeting” has turned into a longer ping pong game of Mormon comments like this:
Man, there is nothing more miserable than spiritual one-upsmanship. It gives me horrible flashbacks to my days in High Priests quorum, may it rest in peace.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: 6 months...

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Thu Sep 03, 2020 8:42 am

Corsair wrote:My dear, TBM wife has consistently wanted to do home church each week. For my own sanity, and for my children, I have presided over a weekly sacrament and brief "Come Follow Me" lesson every week since March. My goal has been to keep my semi-believing children engaged by pulling out something interesting in each lesson. I consistently refer to the story in the Book of Mormon as if we might simply be pulling life lessons out of "The Lord of the Rings". It's always short and it has been appreciated by both children and believing spouse.

I always look over the appropriate lesson from our own annotatedbom. This helps me come up with something that will not accidentally cause me to say anything cynical. In these lessons I have quoted Tolkien, Kierkegaard, Thomas Acquinas, Aristotle, and virtually no Mormons. My family gets a brief and vaguely Christian morality lesson each week and I get moral support from believing relatives. I am probably the crazy person in this situation.
This reminds me somewhat of how I handle family prayers before bed. I rarely call on my wife who prays for a really really long time and always choose the younger less verbose kids or I pray myself and offer very very brief and to the point prayers just so we can hit the sack quickly without sore knees.

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MalcolmVillager
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Re: 6 months...

Post by MalcolmVillager » Wed Sep 09, 2020 9:34 am

Week 1- short lesson, song, multiple prayers, Sacrament.
Week 2- half hearted song, sacrament
Week 3- impromptu sacrament with crackers on a hike.
Week 4- nothing
Week 5- repeat week 2.

Ever since, 75% nothing with a few quick sacrament and maybe an off the cuff uplifting thought when we were with family.

Not looking forward to going back as it will cause some decisions to be made. DW has moved to a space similar to mine. Living in the MorCor with all in extended families and co-workers is tricky as a non-believer.

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Advocate
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Re: 6 months...

Post by Advocate » Fri Sep 18, 2020 11:23 am

Haven't set foot in the church since March and am loving it. At home church makes the mormon church much more bearable.

DW asks that we do a weekly church service. We all dress up, do the sacrament, then DW gives the come follow me lesson. For the most part the kids are bored during the lesson, but DW likes it and I support her in it because I feel like that is part of being a good husband.

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