Church is destroying my BP

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Post Reply
User avatar
Meilingkie
Posts: 359
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:40 pm

Church is destroying my BP

Post by Meilingkie » Sun Dec 25, 2016 5:47 am

Last Wednesday, there was a RS-meeting to make Christmas-present for lonely susters.
Bishop was due to attend, but he didn´s show up.
Ladies grew worried, then RSP received a text from her SIL, BP had collapsed.

My BP is a kind but somewhat chaotic man, to put it mildly.
Planning is not his forte, and he´s in financial problems.
So he holds a dayjob, and runs 2 paperround to make end meet.
His disabled MIL lives in with his family too.
She had her legs amputated, and requires 24hr care.
DId I mention the have 3 young kids too??

So last Wednesday he cracked, physically and mentally.
At this brother´s home he collapsed during a quick stop to drop some paperwork, and paramedics were called.
His wife was called as well, and he literally said farewell to her, see you on the other side.
I can´t take it anymore, and he passed out.

To say the ward was shocked is an understatement.
But there he was this morning.
Sharing his testimony, and that because the Prophet can´t resign, who he is to ask for resignation.
The Prophet serves till released, and so I shall serve till I get released.

The Church, things like this make me hate the institution.
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

User avatar
MalcolmVillager
Posts: 662
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by MalcolmVillager » Sun Dec 25, 2016 8:25 am

So sad. And you are in a part of the world that probably doesn't have a lot of options. I saw so many bishops go inactive as soon as released in Argentina. It really wears on them.

Korihor
Posts: 1236
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Korihor » Sun Dec 25, 2016 8:24 pm

Sad to hear this. Poor guy is being ate alive and doesn't even know he's in the jaws of hell.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.

User avatar
2bizE
Posts: 1519
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:33 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by 2bizE » Mon Dec 26, 2016 12:48 am

I have a TBM friend who always says the church gets in the way of you living the gospel. This is a case in point.
~2bizE

User avatar
Silver Girl
Posts: 375
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:31 am

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Silver Girl » Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:52 am

Oh man - this is so sad. The church brainwashes us to think we HAVE to do callings, and that prayer, God, whatever, will see us through. I've known people who served while spouses were diagnosed with fatal illnesses and later passed away - and the surviving spouse was still putting in 30 or more hours a week over & above their real job. Maybe someone can quietly contact the SP and clue him in? I know it means that they'd be interfering, but in this case, that would be like considering the act of tossing a life preserver to a drowning man as being intrusion.
.
.
Silver Girl is sailing into the future. She is no longer scared.

User avatar
Meilingkie
Posts: 359
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:40 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Meilingkie » Mon Dec 26, 2016 1:54 pm

BP contacted SP a few months ago to tell him he had served almost 4 years now, and that in June 2018 he would need to find a replacement as he´s then had 5 years on the helm.
SP said: 5 years, well I think 7 years would be better for you and the ward.....

SP´s not the best bet here. :cry:
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

Dathon
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2016 2:15 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Dathon » Mon Dec 26, 2016 3:39 pm

Groupness and group think are human traits that may manifest as disorders of ironic cruelty. Church culure / bureaucracy led to my belief crisis. Sorry to hear about another good person being damaged by the machine.

User avatar
alas
Posts: 1374
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:10 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by alas » Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:24 pm

Silver Girl wrote:Oh man - this is so sad. The church brainwashes us to think we HAVE to do callings, and that prayer, God, whatever, will see us through. I've known people who served while spouses were diagnosed with fatal illnesses and later passed away - and the surviving spouse was still putting in 30 or more hours a week over & above their real job. Maybe someone can quietly contact the SP and clue him in? I know it means that they'd be interfering, but in this case, that would be like considering the act of tossing a life preserver to a drowning man as being intrusion.
Oh, I have seen this kind of abuse by the church too, and when it happens to a friend it is unbearable to watch. We lived in Florida when a close friend of mine got cancer. She had two preschoolers and three school age children. Her husband was bishop. They didn't release him all through her fight with cancer, three surgeries, chemo....the whole enchilada. They didn't release him when the cancer was declared incurable. They didn't release him when she went on hospice. Her baby was only three when she died, and still they didn't release him.

What the church DID do was pressure him to remarry as soon as he could find a victi......I mean someone willing to be his wife. So, he married the only single sister in the ward after next to zero courtship. She had not had time to know him or what she was getting into with instant family of five kids and a bishop husband. She divorced him.

THEN, the church released him because a divorced man can't be bishop.

To give you an idea how quickly all of this happened, we only lived in that ward 2-1/2 years and we had been there about a year when she first got cancer.

I sometimes wonder if my friend might have survived if she had her husband to support her through her fight with cancer. And I totally blame the church for the failed second marriage. He was pressured into remarriage before he even had time to grieve.

So, yep, the church machine chews people up and spits them out.

User avatar
No Tof
Posts: 381
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:54 am

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by No Tof » Tue Dec 27, 2016 7:30 am

Having been the BP in another life, I can just hope he survives and starts to see the light of the truth of what we were all a part of. I think this is what started in my life around the end of my tenure.........

His sense of duty is that same fear based motivation we all dealt with as TBMs....... so sad that it works so well.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.
Rumi

User avatar
Corsair
Posts: 2722
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Corsair » Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:39 am

If there was any way we could take your long-suffering bishop out for drinks, I would gladly buy the first round. LDS leadership callings work fine for many people, but the internal struggles are real even with leaders that seem so spiritually and organizationally secure.

User avatar
Meilingkie
Posts: 359
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:40 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Meilingkie » Fri Dec 30, 2016 1:00 pm

BP needed some flour, so he visited my best friend at his windmill.
In tow was his longsuffering wife.
My friend took her apart, and told her she has they key to her hubby´s release.
He also told her the SP is inexperienced, The SP never served in ANY leadership-calling, not ever.

She was rather incensed after the talk, so I think a new BP will be called not too long from now.
Fingers crossed.
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

User avatar
achilles
Posts: 437
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:17 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by achilles » Fri Dec 30, 2016 4:29 pm

Meilingkie wrote:My friend took her apart, and told her she has they key to her hubby´s release.
Does this mean that the BP will be released if his wife asks the SP?
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

― Carl Sagan

User avatar
Meilingkie
Posts: 359
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:40 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Meilingkie » Tue Jan 03, 2017 12:44 pm

Well, I don+t know for sure, but this wife is one you don´t want to be on the Phone with when she´s angry.
She´s got quite a name in our stake as being a Kenau. (dutch for a very very difficult, quarrelsome woman)
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

User avatar
deacon blues
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:37 am

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by deacon blues » Tue Jan 03, 2017 2:25 pm

I feel bad for your bishop. Sounds like he lost at Stake President roulette.
God is Love. God is Truth

User avatar
Zadok
Posts: 91
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:32 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Zadok » Wed Jan 04, 2017 8:28 pm

Meilingkie wrote:She´s got quite a name in our stake as being a Kenau. (dutch for a very very difficult, quarrelsome woman)
Interesting that the Dutch still have a special word for it. We used to have a special word, but we can't use that word any more.... it isn't politically correct, or physically healthy.
If I'm a bird, why can't I fly?

User avatar
Meilingkie
Posts: 359
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:40 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Meilingkie » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:57 pm

Kenau was a woman who led the defense of the rebel forces in Haarlem against the Spanish empire during the siege of The city in 1573.

She's considered a hero.
The Church is the "fount of vicarious shame" that keeps on giving

User avatar
Random
Posts: 1044
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:44 pm

Re: Church is destroying my BP

Post by Random » Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:29 pm

If the wife can't get him released, Meilingkie, perhaps a doctor could? He sounds like he is seriously in need of a break. (It's too bad he can't just say, "I'm done," and never go to another meeting again.)
There are 2 Gods. One who created us. The other you created. The God you made up is just like you-thrives on flattery-makes you live in fear.

Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests