Missionary Life

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Post Reply
User avatar
Posts: 1203
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:04 pm

Missionary Life

Post by Linked » Tue Mar 30, 2021 10:35 am

I saw a response on a forum about dystopian mega corporations that really resonated with the missionary experience, I've modified a bit to be missionary specific.
Rise and shine, and welcome to yet another beautiful day, Elder 118514! Despite the appearance of rain, the sun is shining here in paradise! ($500 dollars has been deducted from your account for your monthly expenses, please use some of that for a plastic suit to keep you dry.) You have fifteen minutes to shower and eat breakfast as remember, the clock starts at 6:30am sharp and every minute spent on personal activities is a minute stolen! As a friendly reminder, you are currently......infinity....minutes in debt to your Savior. Please consider giving up a bathroom break or your scheduled lunch or dinner to repay this debt. All time debt must be repaid before the end of the quarter to avoid additional chronological interest and a negative review!

Speaking of time, have you considered donating your time to a worthy cause? One hour of your sleep donated to the church can show the faith needed to convince God to plant the seed of faith in Joseph Smith in another investigator! Remember, your investigator's testimonies are fragile and need that extra boost. Consider donating to a good cause today!

In other news, missionary accidents are down 7% as a successful result of our newest buddy system initiative. Remember to watch out for your companion and be sure to help them avoid accidents that can cause irresponsible downtime.....
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

User avatar
Posts: 269
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:15 pm

Re: Missionary Life

Post by Stig » Tue Mar 30, 2021 10:44 am

Your alteration of that post to fit the mission life is spot on. Everything is scripted. Everything is planned. Just do as you're told (obedience) and everything will be wonderful.
“Some say he’s wanted by the CIA and that he sleeps upside down like a Bat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

“Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests