An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

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annotatedbom
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An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by annotatedbom » Thu Apr 01, 2021 3:23 pm

Notice to parents who let Mormon leaders interview their kids:
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I think all the Mormon sex interviews are foolish, but especially the interviews of youth. Some five years ago I decided to put an end to at least one foolish practice - the interviewing of my minor children, alone, behind a closed door, by some guy who insists it is not only his desire, but his duty to talk to kids in this situation about sex. This Mormon practice is one of the cultiest things about the Church (that and telling adults they must only wear underwear made by the Church o_O).

If you haven't already done so, you might consider putting an end to this foolishness in your family. You can look at the letter I sent to my bishop by certified mail to tell them to cease the practice. The first two pages of the Google doc have the content of the letter, but the email exchange between us prior to the certified letter is copied there too. It's in reverse order, so the last thing sent is found first in the doc, and the first thing sent is found at the end. If you're concerned about Mormon leadership or your spouse trying to roll you on this, you might consider an approach like mine. The first email clearly lays out how ridiculous the practice seems to me, but invites them to figure out how to explain to me how it is normal and healthy. Long-story-short, no real attempt was made by leaders or my wife to justify the practice after that.

Here are some other resources to consider if this concerns you.

Protect LDS Cildren (Yay for Sam Young!)

Sexually Explicit Questions Asked To Kids By Mormon Bishops

Utah judge sends former Mormon bishop to prison for sexually abusing boys in his congregation
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This is Erik Hughes who was charged in July in Utah’s 4th District Court with two second-degree felony counts of forcible sexual abuse that allegedly occurred in June 2014, as well as a count of tampering with a witness, a third-degree felony. This happened because Erik drugged and raped two teenage boys while he was the bishop presiding over a ward in Mapleton Utah.

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slk
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by slk » Thu Apr 01, 2021 6:15 pm

Youth interviews need to stop altogether, with or without a parent. TSCC is bound and determined to keep the young men in line and "worthy" so they can serve a mission. If interviews cease, missions and tithing cease.

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moksha
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by moksha » Thu Apr 01, 2021 11:41 pm

Missed it. Well, it is April 2, so I will give a true news report and a question: The Atlanta shooting suspect's church has been caught deleting incriminating sermons teaching intolerance.

My question, will there be an occasion where the LDS Church needs to delete some of this same type of stuff from Boyd Packer and Dallin Oaks?
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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Not Buying It
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by Not Buying It » Mon Apr 05, 2021 5:20 am

There are a million legitimate reasons for leaving the LDS Church, but this one should rank high on the list. What kind of insanity is it that no one thinks twice about middle aged men alone in a room with teens asking sexual questions? Sam Young is a hero, and some of the stories he has collected are horrifying.
"The truth is elegantly simple. The lie needs complex apologia. 4 simple words: Joe made it up. It answers everything with the perfect simplicity of Occam's Razor. Every convoluted excuse withers." - Some guy on Reddit called disposazelph

Keewon
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by Keewon » Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:46 pm

I was naive about so many things church-related until I began to hear others' experiences years after my LDS mission. I never had a church leader bring up sexual behavior in an interview- I always had to bring it up with them. They always seemed like they'd rather not deal with it. When I brought it up, they went out of their way to tell me not to be too hard on myself, to keep focused on Christ, not on myself, including my "sins".

In other words, I was really fortunate in my leaders growing up. I heard others' horror stories from time to time, but didn't realize they weren't just one-offs, and had no background to understand how abusive others' experiences were.

Just so illustrate, I had no idea until NOM that not every missionary in the world had a wonderful experience and longed to get back to their missions so they could "feel the way they felt then". Yes- I had a wonderful, life-affirming, growth-promoting, life-changing mission. I knew one or two of the "other" types of elders, but trusted God would reach and heal each of them in His own time and way.

Yes, I was that naive, and that fortunate. Thinking back, when so many youth are radicalized to so many different ideologies growing up, I'm nothing but grateful that the thing I was radicalized was the doctrine of Charity, the pure love of Christ. One could do worse in one's youth.

In fact, I became disaffected in my faith for no other reason than that all the scientific evidence contradicted church teachings, nothing else. And I hung in there for years.

One other thing I have only recently realized is how stunted I was socially, since all my needs were filled via my church associations and I never felt the need to learn how to make, keep or recover a friendship. Everything was handed to me on a plate. When I moved to a new ward, I just forgot the old friendships and "moved on". In my later years, without the church community, I find myself longing for more emotional intimacy, just starting to realize that it's something I have to reach out for. I only came at a later time in my life to an understanding of how precious friendships are, and how much they cost to create and maintain. Better late than never, I guess. I've known people to do worse.

Speaking of friendships, I was a regular on NOM for a number of years, and took far more from it than I ever gave back. Seeing some of the old names brings a warmth to my heart- some of the best people on earth are regulars on this forum I would claim. Thanks to those who stay around to help others, long after they've made peace with their past. I would say that, most of what I know of Charity at this point in my life I've learned outside of the LDS church. :)

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blazerb
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by blazerb » Fri Apr 16, 2021 8:32 pm

moksha wrote:
Thu Apr 01, 2021 11:41 pm
Missed it. Well, it is April 2, so I will give a true news report and a question: The Atlanta shooting suspect's church has been caught deleting incriminating sermons teaching intolerance.

My question, will there be an occasion where the LDS Church needs to delete some of this same type of stuff from Boyd Packer and Dallin Oaks?
Absolutely.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Young_Men_Only

I won't be surprised to see Richard Scott's talk asking women to ask themselves how they contributed to their own sexual assault, or some other unbelievably awful talks disappear in coming years.

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Not Buying It
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by Not Buying It » Thu Apr 22, 2021 5:07 am

blazerb wrote:
Fri Apr 16, 2021 8:32 pm
moksha wrote:
Thu Apr 01, 2021 11:41 pm
Missed it. Well, it is April 2, so I will give a true news report and a question: The Atlanta shooting suspect's church has been caught deleting incriminating sermons teaching intolerance.

My question, will there be an occasion where the LDS Church needs to delete some of this same type of stuff from Boyd Packer and Dallin Oaks?
Absolutely.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Young_Men_Only

I won't be surprised to see Richard Scott's talk asking women to ask themselves how they contributed to their own sexual assault, or some other unbelievably awful talks disappear in coming years.
It's damn near impossible to find Ezra Taft Benson's October 1967 General Conference talk wherein he called the civil rights movement a communist plot. They've done a great job of putting that one down the memory hole. As a matter of fact, the only links I can find are to extreme far right Mormon websites, and I refuse to refer anyone to them. But I will refer you to FairMormon's ridiculous defense of what is clearly a racist General Conference talk (https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/ans ... of_love.22):
Elder Benson was not "the Lord's prophet" when he gave that address: He would not become the President of the Church until November 10, 1985, eighteen years later. In 1967, Ezra Taft Benson was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Elder Benson, in fact, thought a number of things that he considered bad were the result of Communist influence.
Ever wonder why the hell you would bother listening to anything anyone other than the President of the Church says if FairMormon can just casually wave away the words of members of the 12 we are pressured to sustain as a "Prophets, Seers, and Revelators"?
"The truth is elegantly simple. The lie needs complex apologia. 4 simple words: Joe made it up. It answers everything with the perfect simplicity of Occam's Razor. Every convoluted excuse withers." - Some guy on Reddit called disposazelph

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deacon blues
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by deacon blues » Thu Apr 22, 2021 10:36 am

Yeah. The "double think" and "Double Speak" of the Church tends to lesson their Mask of authority. I'm reminded that "excommunication" is now called a "withdrawal of membership." :roll: Eventually nothing the handbook says will mean anything. Total irrelevancy. So WHY DON'T THEY CHANGE offending passages in the BOM? :o
God is Love. God is Truth

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DPRoberts
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Re: An April Fools' Reminder: Mormon Youth Sex Interviews Are Foolish

Post by DPRoberts » Thu Apr 22, 2021 6:22 pm

Keewon wrote:
Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:46 pm
I was naive about so many things church-related until I began to hear others' experiences years after my LDS mission. I never had a church leader bring up sexual behavior in an interview- I always had to bring it up with them. They always seemed like they'd rather not deal with it. When I brought it up, they went out of their way to tell me not to be too hard on myself, to keep focused on Christ, not on myself, including my "sins".

In other words, I was really fortunate in my leaders growing up. I heard others' horror stories from time to time, but didn't realize they weren't just one-offs, and had no background to understand how abusive others' experiences were.

Just so illustrate, I had no idea until NOM that not every missionary in the world had a wonderful experience and longed to get back to their missions so they could "feel the way they felt then". Yes- I had a wonderful, life-affirming, growth-promoting, life-changing mission. I knew one or two of the "other" types of elders, but trusted God would reach and heal each of them in His own time and way.

Yes, I was that naive, and that fortunate. Thinking back, when so many youth are radicalized to so many different ideologies growing up, I'm nothing but grateful that the thing I was radicalized was the doctrine of Charity, the pure love of Christ. One could do worse in one's youth.

In fact, I became disaffected in my faith for no other reason than that all the scientific evidence contradicted church teachings, nothing else. And I hung in there for years.

One other thing I have only recently realized is how stunted I was socially, since all my needs were filled via my church associations and I never felt the need to learn how to make, keep or recover a friendship. Everything was handed to me on a plate. When I moved to a new ward, I just forgot the old friendships and "moved on". In my later years, without the church community, I find myself longing for more emotional intimacy, just starting to realize that it's something I have to reach out for. I only came at a later time in my life to an understanding of how precious friendships are, and how much they cost to create and maintain. Better late than never, I guess. I've known people to do worse.

Speaking of friendships, I was a regular on NOM for a number of years, and took far more from it than I ever gave back. Seeing some of the old names brings a warmth to my heart- some of the best people on earth are regulars on this forum I would claim. Thanks to those who stay around to help others, long after they've made peace with their past. I would say that, most of what I know of Charity at this point in my life I've learned outside of the LDS church. :)
It's great to see you on here again, Keewon. From what I remember you gave back plenty on the original and the reincarnation of NOM.
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease to be mistaken or cease to be honest. -anon
The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world. -Max Born

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