The anxious Mormon voice in your head

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Red Ryder
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by Red Ryder » Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:06 pm

Did I go to the temple this month?
Is my recommend current?
Did I do my home teaching?
Did I say my prayers?
Read my scriptures?
Prepare for my Sunday lesson?
Take the kids to mutual?
Glance at the neighbors wife?
Call Sister Peterson and wish happy B-day?
Did I bake enough bread?
Was that a bad thought in my head?
Why is she wearing that immodest shirt?
They could use the gospel in their life!
Should I share my testimony with the dentist?
Is there an extra Book of Mormon laying around?
Did I turn in the scout dues?
When do we clean the building again?
Is my white shirt ironed?
Did I pay my tithing on that $50 grandma sent?
Is the car clean enough to drive visiting teaching?
When is scout camp this year?
Two pans of funeral potatoes or three?
How’s the food storage?
Do we need more jello?
My garments are gray??
They’ll last another year until Christmas.
Is the fireside at the stake center?
Where is god in my life?
Did I think to pray?
Who dropped cookies at the door?
Where are the kids?
I’m pregnant again??
Does this temple dress make me look fat?
Adam is a hunk!
Did I just think that in the temple?
Relief society lessons are awesome!
I think I’m depressed.
Is the bishop staring at me?
Why does he want to meet?
Oh know, a third calling?
Serious?
That inactive family shouldn’t be at the lake.
Where’s the hymn book?
Why does the building smell?
Those singing Primary kids are so cute.
Is it already November?
That conference talk was awesome.
President Uchtdorf is wonderful!
When is the ward Christmas party?
My garments are still gray?
They can last another year.
Why is the bishop calling?
He wants me to speak again??
Conference talk?
What if the church isn’t true?
Where did that come from?
Put your shoulder to the wheel...
Can I substitute in primary?
I hate those 11 year old kids.
When does the Jone’s missionary come home?
I don’t want to make signs for the airport.
Did the ensign come yet?
Where’s the beef?
Did the Hines need a ride?
Why am I so exhausted?
Did I read my scriptures?
Did I go to the temple this month?
Is my recommend current?
Did I do my home teaching?
Did I say my prayers?
Read my scriptures?
Prepare for my Sunday lesson?
Take the kids to mutual?
Glance at the neighbors wife?
Call Sister Peterson and wish happy B-day?
Did I bake enough bread?
Was that a bad thought in my head?
Why is she wearing that immodest shirt?
They could use the gospel in their life!
Should I share my testimony with the dentist?
Is there an extra Book of Mormon laying around?
Did I turn in the scout dues?
When do we clean the building again?
Is my white shirt ironed?
Did I pay my tithing on that $50 grandma sent?
Is the car clean enough to drive visiting teaching?
When is scout camp this year?
Two pans of funeral potatoes or three?
How’s the food storage?
Do we need more jello?
My garments are gray??
They’ll last another year until Christmas.
Is the fireside at the stake center?
Where is god in my life?
Did I think to pray?
Who dropped cookies at the door?
Where are the kids?
She’s pregnant again??
Why am I so exhausted?
What’s for dinner?
When is trek this summer?
Why is she wearing those pants?
That dress is immodest?
Is my shirt tucked in?
Where’s my tie?
The bishop called again?
The Peterson’s are moving?
One less family to home teach!
Oh, 3 more added to the list?
Did I read my scriptures?
Is it stake conference this week?
Why and I so tired?
I think I’m depressed.
Is the bishop staring at me?
Why does he want to meet?
Oh no, a third calling?
Serious?
That inactive family shouldn’t be at the lake.
Where’s the hymn book?
Why does the building smell?
Those singing Primary kids are so cute.
Is it already November?
That conference talk was awesome.
President Uchtdorf is wonderful!
When is the ward Christmas party?
My garments are still gray?
They can last another year.
Why is the bishop calling?
He wants me to speak again??
Conference talk?
What if the church isn’t true?
Where did that come from?
Put your shoulder to the wheel...
When is my brother coming to visit?
Will he go to church with us?
Where are the kids?
When is standards night?
What did Brother Smith want?
Why doesn’t he leave a voicemail?
When is my recommend expire?
In your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie
What's in your head? In your head?
Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie, oh
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
Posts: 3150
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Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by wtfluff » Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:12 pm

:shock:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

Keep the company of those who seek the truth - run from those who have found it -Václav Havel

The Beauty of Gray

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Linked
Posts: 1266
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:04 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by Linked » Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:21 pm

All your posts are great RR, but this one is art.

Now do the anxious recently-not-mormon voice in your head.

Then the healthy voice after you finally figure out how to take Corsair's advice and the church has become insignificant in your life.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

Cnsl1
Posts: 247
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:27 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by Cnsl1 » Fri Sep 24, 2021 2:15 am

So much joy in life to let that stuff go.

hmb
Posts: 326
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:43 am

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by hmb » Fri Sep 24, 2021 5:15 am

Cnsl1 wrote:
Fri Sep 24, 2021 2:15 am
So much joy in life to let that stuff go.
You are so correct.

The guilt for not enjoying serving. I won't be blessed because I only serve (callings) out of duty--to check it off the list, not with a heartfelt delight. I don't love teaching primary, visiting teaching, attending meetings and more meetings. Not only do I dislike cleaning the ward building, I, dare I say it? HATE it!!!! That should send me to hell.

There's enough anxiety in life without all the added BS.

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Red Ryder
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Sep 24, 2021 8:06 pm

Linked wrote:
Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:21 pm
Now do the anxious recently-not-mormon voice in your head.
Dad, let’s go get the mail.
A DVD? let’s watch the movie! Can we? Can we?
Look dad, it’s Joseph Smith,
Yup, his birthday is coming up.
Joseph goes to the grove to pray.
Sees God the Father and Jesus Christ
This is my beloved son. Hear him.
Hmmmm.... where did the Satan part go?
I’ve seen this story a hundred times...
Why did they take that part out?
Didn’t Satan try to stop his prayer?
Dad, this is boring. Can we watch Barney?
Sure kiddo.
Hmmm why did they remove that part?
A few days later...
Why did they remove that?
Google = “Omitted First Vision”
OMG, multiple versions?
I’ve got to read this!
Wow, I was never taught about that!!
More google
Free Mason wording is identical to temple?
That doesn’t make sense??
FAIR Mormon?? No endowed Mormon became
a Free Mason, no free mason became endowed?
What? That doesn’t answer my question.
More google
Less sleep
New thoughts? What else is there?
Polygamy? I’ll come back to that later...
Book of Mormon errors? Edits?
Lamanites we’re Native American
Now among them?? What?
Less sleep
More reading
Google, google, google...
More reading
Less sleep
Google, google, google, google
Why have I never heard this before?
Initiatory changed? What?
Google...Exmormon.org
Reading exit stories after exit stories
OMG, I’ve felt the same way too?
Yes, I’m not crazy
OMG, this is a rabbit hole
Fanny Alger?
Joseph was a polygamist?
No, there were more women then men.
They took care of them.
While crossing the plains
It was the right thing to do...
Sisters? Did Emma know?
What?
Joseph what are you thinking
God wouldn’t command this to be secret?
Nancy Rigdon source of happiness...
What if it’s not what it claims to be??
What the he’ll is going on?
Reading, reading, reading, reading
Google, google, google
John Larsen podcast is awesome!
Jaredite submarines? Ha ha ha crying...
What if it’s not true?
I’m going to the temple tomorrow.
Wow, this is some crazy stuff?
Why am I dressed in this silly outfit?
I think that guy next to me farted?
Mike Norton is that you in disguise?
I’ve got to post about this.
These exmos are angry.
What other boards are there?
New order mormon?
Read, read, read, reading
These people understand what I’m going through.
Well spoken people.
Understanding
TheLate War? OMG, what it this?
HE PLAGIARIZED IT!!!!!!!!
There’s no way this is what it claims
What do I do now?
How do I tell her? She’s gotta know
I don’t believe this anymore...
Honey we need to talk
WHAT??? Why about your eternal salvation!
Calm down, why are you so angry?
Yes, I’ve been reading this stuff
Did you know.....
I don’t care, I KNOW he was a prophet!
WTF?
Now what?
I’m not writing that check anymore.
How do I tell her.
Read, google; read
Starting to feel depressed.
Now what?
This sucks
Should we divorce?
I’ll just keep my mouth shut. For now
Sundays suck. I’m depressed.
How did I believe this?
Kolob? Gold plates? Garments?
[bI hate these things....
Not wearing them anymore. [/b]
I don’t even know who you are anymore.
This isn’t who I married.
Where did your testimony go?
We better talk to the bishop
No thanks not interested
I went without you.
He said I could keep my recommend.
I’ll pay on my income
These guys are so out of touch.
No more callings ever.
Wow. What now?
Jeremey Runnels CES Letter?
It’s obvious this is all made up
Why can’t you people see it?
Kinderhook plates
NOM is down? Where’s Thayne? WTF?
All my posts gone? That was my journal?
Crying. Sad.
Corsair, let’s rebuild it! Hagoth’s in.
Wow, I’m feeling peace in the unknown
How did I believe this stuff?
November policy: WTF. These guys are idiots
Ordain women? Don’t let them in
Wow. Masturbation interviews
Sam Young is amazing
What the hell?
Nelson is the prophet?
How could I believe this
Joseph made it up. Yes, he did.
God, where did you go?
Hello?
Sleep! Finally
Peaceful days
Anxious days,
Will this marriage survive?
Therapy is nice
Therapy sucks
I’m sorry
It’s not my fault. The church isn’t true.
Therapy is working
Mixed faith marriage
This isn’t so bad.
This sucks ass
Indifference?
Expensive golf hobby?
I can do this.
Dilute the church
Where’s god? Hello I’m talking to you?
Apathetic Agnostic? Sounds right?
Too lazy to care.
Skipped church, feels great.
Where did the last 4 years go?
COVID? Home church?
Second Saturday is awesome!
I’m never going back....
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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blazerb
Posts: 1167
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:35 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by blazerb » Sat Sep 25, 2021 9:39 am

Oh my, this hit me. Thank you!

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stealthbishop
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:25 am

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by stealthbishop » Mon Sep 27, 2021 9:36 am

Yeah, that's a great post RR. Makes it really clear. It's a HIGH DEMAND religion.

We went to church this past week and then we had an LDS funeral. It has become so clear to me how bored I was in Sacrament Meetings. I don't think I could admit it to myself until recently. It was always work for me just to sit there and listen to these talks. I didn't mind singing hymns together and there are some good musical numbers but most of the talks are regurgitated conference talks. There might be maybe one decent talk over a three month period.

The price we pay for what we get is SO out of balance. Hey, it works for some people. And I must say there are some sweet interactions within the community and connections but I'm SO glad my wife has pulled away so I can finally admit that so much of this nonsense and time wasting didn't work for me. Some worked for me. But a lot didn't. And most of didn't work at all for our children.
"Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess"

-Depeche Mode

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Linked
Posts: 1266
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:04 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by Linked » Mon Sep 27, 2021 11:32 am

Nailed it, the recently-not-mormon voice gave me the chills.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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alas
Posts: 1880
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:10 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by alas » Mon Sep 27, 2021 2:24 pm

I really like your recently not Mormon voice. One addition is there needs to be about 20 “am I doing the right thing?” in there. It is so nice to have the Mormon anxiety voice and the recently not Mormon voice quieted down.

Cnsl1
Posts: 247
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:27 pm

Re: The anxious Mormon voice in your head

Post by Cnsl1 » Mon Sep 27, 2021 3:34 pm

A recent fast and testimony mtg was full of anxious Mormon voices. I think bearing one's testimony, for some folks, equates to some relief of Mormon anxiety, if at least through the duration of the meeting, until the EQ Pres asks if you've ministered to the Smith family yet this month.

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