Ministering Interviews advice

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Dr. Licious
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Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2021 10:57 am

Ministering Interviews advice

Post by Dr. Licious » Wed Jan 05, 2022 10:02 am

Hello all,
I am basically a PIMO mormon, but still attend due to pressure and to keep the peace with the DW.
Anyway, I was recently called to be a counselor in the EQ. I didn't want to, but accepted the calling because IMO it's better than a teaching calling where I feel like a total fraud.
The advice I'm seeking is if any of you have any advice on how I can do the ministering interviews? I hate the impersonal phone call or text, asking "Did you have a chance to visit your families this month?"

Anyone have any thoughts on how to actually make this a useful experience, instead of a guilt trip resulting in most guys just ghosting my call and texts?

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Palerider
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Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2016 8:44 am

Re: Ministering Interviews advice

Post by Palerider » Wed Jan 05, 2022 11:21 am

Dr. Licious wrote:
Wed Jan 05, 2022 10:02 am
Hello all,
I am basically a PIMO mormon, but still attend due to pressure and to keep the peace with the DW.
Anyway, I was recently called to be a counselor in the EQ. I didn't want to, but accepted the calling because IMO it's better than a teaching calling where I feel like a total fraud.
The advice I'm seeking is if any of you have any advice on how I can do the ministering interviews? I hate the impersonal phone call or text, asking "Did you have a chance to visit your families this month?"

Anyone have any thoughts on how to actually make this a useful experience, instead of a guilt trip resulting in most guys just ghosting my call and texts?
It was still called Home teaching when I left the church. I see from your post that nothing has really changed.

I'm wondering if the text is still the way to go but just adjust the verbiage a little. Something like:

"Hi Bro. Blinde, I was wondering if you have any concerns to report regarding the families you visit or issues that you feel we should be aware of? Thanks! Bro. Licious"

Then don't sweat whether you get a response or not. It's not your job to hold them accountable even though the church may try to foist that responsibility on you.

Otherwise.....next time just say "No" to any calling that comes your way. When they ask why just say, "I'd prefer not to serve right now." It's better than dealing with the guilt and self-conflict that comes with accepting. You'll feel better and more honest even though you may catch a little fallout.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

Red Ryder
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Ministering Interviews advice

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jan 05, 2022 1:11 pm

I haven’t participated in the ministering/ home teaching thing. My EQ seems to leave me alone since I haven’t been assigned to minister or home teach. I typically just ignore any texts etc so I don’t know how they do the interviews.

However, the RS seems to have figured out a fun way to do these interviews.

They have a “drive thru” event held at the RS presidents home where the counselors will set up a table outside with various treats and gift basket ideas. You know, the traditional relief society swag.

The ladies drive up, pick up their loot and report their ministering efforts. It’s fun because they don’t have to be formal and everyone loves a treat! This past month they did a hot chocolate bar.

Perhaps you could do the same?

Or just invite everyone over to watch a UFC fight, football, baseball, basketball game etc.

I find the less formal option goes a long way with the men in the church. We just don’t seem to care as much about preaching to the choir in the name of ministering.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

Red Ryder
Posts: 3460
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Ministering Interviews advice

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jan 05, 2022 1:13 pm

Palerider wrote:
Wed Jan 05, 2022 11:21 am
Otherwise.....next time just say "No" to any calling that comes your way. When they ask why just say, "I'd prefer not to serve right now." It's better than dealing with the guilt and self-conflict that comes with accepting. You'll feel better and more honest even though you may catch a little fallout.
“It would interfere with my time not having a calling” works too! 😂
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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Mormorrisey
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Re: Ministering Interviews advice

Post by Mormorrisey » Wed Jan 05, 2022 7:07 pm

Well now, this is somewhat timely. Given that I'm on the HC and a PIMO too, I have to commiserate on how horrible it is to be in the position you're in. It's no fun, being a PIMO NOM (now sing that to the tune of Illegal Alien by Genesis. It makes things a LITTLE better!)

But we had an interesting discussion recently in Stake Council about ministering interviews, and our SP had an interesting idea. Why not ask how the ministers are doing for most of the interview? I thought that was a good idea, frankly. However, I took his point and went even farther, as I'm won't to do. So I suggested that most of the interview discuss how the minister feels about his assignment? I made the point that we have a tendency to just assign random people to do random things, and wonder why it doesn't get done. Maybe if we involve the member in their own assignment? Ask them how many families or sisters they can handle? Ask them what kind of families/sisters they would enjoy visiting? You know, treat members like they are a part of things instead of just ramming it down their throats. That kind of negotiation, I argued, might actually help people feel, I don't know, like they have ownership over their own assignment, because they get to do things they actually want to do? And maybe listening to people will open up a lot more things in the interview? Like, how the minister is actually doing themselves?

Everyone nodded like this was a good idea, but of course nothing came of it in subsequent discussions. Because it's easier to play the authoritarian card, and just tell people what to do. Even I get that. And frankly, it was an act of purest cynicism to even suggest this in the SC meeting, because I knew it would be too hard to pull off for these people who just expect obedience instead of negotiation. But frankly, that's what I'd do. And you know what? If half the ward went unassigned to any minister, so be it. At least you'd get more than are getting visited now, and I'd try to prioritize the marginalized and those truly struggling with whatever problems they are struggling with for those individuals who would actually go and minister, and I'm sure you know who they are in your ward. And then the rest of the ward can just stumble along.

My two cents, and I hope to God I'm never in your shoes. Being useless on the HC is bad enough for my nerves. Good luck!
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."

Dr. Licious
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2021 10:57 am

Re: Ministering Interviews advice

Post by Dr. Licious » Fri Jan 07, 2022 8:57 am

Thank you all for the responses. I greatly appreciate the advice. I love the question Palerider, asking the Brother if there's anything we can do to help your families, instead of the super monotone "Did you visit your families this month?" I will implement it immediately.

Morissey, it gives me great encouragement and hope that there are members of HC who are on the PIMO spectrum as well. In my home ward I often feel very alone, but having to put on the 'fully invested' face; but at the same time I greatly value the community surrounding my family and me.
Thank you

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