NOM

All,
I am barely hanging on with activity in Mormonism, but attend almost every week and my wife is happy about that.
Anyhow, I have been teaching Sunday School youth for the past year and it has been nice. Just got released due to my partner teacher moving.

So, I just got a calling offer today (I admittedly tried to dodge the guy) from EQ 2nd counselor to be a Service Coordinator for the quorum. He said find 4 or 5 guys to make a committee and I would be the chair. I basically said yes, but on the drive home just realized what I may have gotten into. That could include being the go to guy to move everyone. What a great way to get the moving stuff off the EQP plate and onto an unsuspecting guy. That is how I see it, which is pretty jaded. Got home and texted the guy, sorry have to decline...got too much going on here taking care of 18 acres of farm and forest work. Have not heard back...I just won't let them set me apart...I think this calling would drive me over the edge (I am an introvert) trying to take care of everyone's service needs in the ward when I barely want to attend church at all anyways. I do enjoy service, the right kind where we do something that someone can't do themselves, but I like it on the downlow, where I single handedly help a widow with my boys. That gives me joy.

Anyone have experience as a Service Coordinator? This whole thing is already pushing me over the edge to quit. I have been NOM for 15 years hanging on...don't know how much longer I can do this.
Thanks for your support and comments.

That's just shifting the hardest work on to you. Your Holidays will evaporate and all the neighborhood yard work is coming your way.

Basically the job is the guy who has to figure out building cleaning each week. Really s***y job to be in, in multiple senses of the word. Either you are guilt tripping people into doing it, doing it yourself if you couldn't get anyone to do it, or it won't get done and everyone is mad that the building isn't cleaned. Basically, a loose-loose-loose situation for you.

You are better off turning it down. Congrats for standing up for yourself.

Congrats for turning down an offer in a volunteer church. Maybe counter with an offer to help serve on the committee at times.

People often forget that they can turn down callings. I've heard people brag that they've never turned down a calling, and I've seen the same people do piss poor jobs in the callings they should have turned down.

Today I heard the bishop announce that bro this and sis that accepted their releases from this and that callings. I didn't remember ever hearing it presented like that. They accepted their releases. I didn't know it was optional.

That sounds...awful. Service is great, but co-ordinating service with a bunch of people who don't really want to do it? Pass. You'll just end up doing everything yourself, which sucks big time. No is good.

I've only turned down one calling in my life, believe it or not, and that was several years ago when they tried to make me the building cleaning co-ordinator. After being very upset by the existence of the church mall, I basically said that a corporation that owned billions should not be making people clean the church, and that I would not be participating in the every member a janitor program. The end.

So that would be my suggestion, just stick to your guns and make sure that your no means no, and you have a good plan to not allow them to set you apart. That should do it!

I've only turned down one calling in my life, believe it or not, and that was several years ago when they tried to make me the building cleaning co-ordinator. After being very upset by the existence of the church mall, I basically said that a corporation that owned billions should not be making people clean the church, and that I would not be participating in the every member a janitor program. The end.

Absolutely correct.

cpy811: You did the right thing in declining the calling. You are trying to be supportive of your wife by attending every week, and that is enough. If you're busy taking care of a farm and a forest, that is a huge responsibility. My suggestion would be: stand you ground and continue to politely yet firmly decline. Best wishes to you, from Wndr.

The guy replied back and let me know that is OK after I turned him down. He was pretty good about it and asked about our farm and forest projects. I gave him some detail and invited him over sometime after I get it more cleaned up. One more turn down for the history books. I assume the bishopric will work on another calling for me, I am good with a Sunday only type job. Thanks for your comment. The whole thing kind of triggered me.

Yeah, that's definitely triggering and it's so easy to say yes to callings in our tradition. Glad you did the 180 and set boundaries when you figured out it wasn't the right fit and I'm glad he was cool about. Full support to you!

I've had callings like this in the past. They are awful. Trying to get the group together on short notice. Getting calls when you're on vacation to perform the service. Getting yelled at by some otherwise well-meaning sister who is angry that you were not aware of someone's needs. It's miserable. Saying no was wise.

Life pro tip: if you turn down all of them you’ll stop getting asked.

Calling free since 2019!

I’m so glad I turned it down. I can only imagine I’m out in the fields trying to farm and getting calls. Plus, being the moving manager where I have philosophical differences with EQ doing it. No way!

Again, I look for service and do things for people in my circle. Not going to be a free committee manager for people who use and abuse free church labor.

Saying no to callings sounds fun. I think I’ll just jump in and help where I would fit best…I’m not a believer that all callings are inspired. Maybe some, but most are just throwing warm bodies at open calling needs.

Btw, I suck at ministering. Was never called, just had a list show up on my tools app and then EQ guy wants to ask about ministering every so often. I just don’t text or call back.

I’m liking my Sunday only worship and not worrying about anything church all week, cuz I have enough to do already. Well, my bathroom break is over. Thanks again. So happy to be free.

stealthbishop wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 20, 2022 9:28 am

Yeah, that's definitely triggering and it's so easy to say yes to callings in our tradition. Glad you did the 180 and set boundaries when you figured out it wasn't the right fit and I'm glad he was cool about. Full support to you!

This is so true. I was saying yes to his face while saying no way inside. So conditioned. I was pissed for rest of the day for saying yes and then 180. Ruined my Father’s Day.

When I was EQPI called a service coordinator to help with the 30+ move-ins and move-outs each year. I was so happy to have someone to help, but looking back, it was terrible

Mormons helping each other move since 1847!

Imagine where the church would be today if Brigham Young called a moving coordinator to help the saints move West and that guy turned him down?

Utah would have probably been a whole different town!

Having been on that side of the meeting room in those bishopric meetings, it's true, or at least it was in my experience, that the general mentality and belief is that EVERYONE needs a calling. We tried to run it through a "family filter" and I learned to leave an opening for someone to turn a calling down when I was extending them, because it was my feeling at the time that the person had as much opportunity to feel the inspiration of the call as we did. So I'd usually encourage them to think and pray about it. When I first started extending callings, I tended to use the magical power of the bishopric as my backup, but after getting turned down flatly with information why that wasn't a good idea, I quickly came to realize the magical power of the bpric maybe wasn't infallible.

I was surprised by how many people turned down callings, as well as by how many accepted anything and everything. But like I mentioned before. Lots of people who'd say they never turn down a calling wouldn't do the calling very well. Seems like we are pretty good at developing passive aggressive behavior.