NOM

I baptized my youngest son recently. DW and I are in a good, stable spot right now, so the lead up was stress and conflict free. Having been thru it before took a lot of the unknown out, so I didn't have to stress out about unlikely scenarios as much. My son wanted me to baptize him and his recently returned-missionary cousin to confirm him, so my lack of temple recommend wasn't an issue. DW seemed really happy overall, so that was good. I was surprised how much he wanted to be baptized, he was very certain that it was something he wanted to do. Although he mentioned that he feels like he is dirty and needs to become clean, so maybe the "your not good enough" messages are getting to him. Lame.

The Bishop's interview and the day were tough with everyone speaking so sure that this is what God wants. And God said this or that. And everyone in attendance loves you, but the most important person to love you is God and Jesus. It feels like they are all breaking the 2nd commandment to not take the Lord's name in vain. Yesterday when I called my dad for father's day he mentioned the visits he got and then said that the Lord gave all the men in the ward a candy bar. The whole equating the church and it's teachings to being God himself is an issue that gets on my nerves.

But, my kid is happy and we both made it through the day. Now DW and I can continue to be the 2nd most important people to love him without #1 getting in the way.

Congrats!

Family milestone moments are always the best when you can navigate the Mormon land mines and nobody gets their spiritual legs blown off.

The temple recommend requirement to confirm the Holy Ghost is just so stupid. Like your priesthood is invalidated if you don’t have the paper? Or your not worthy? Come on!

I’ve made sure to correct people when they assume I don’t have a TR recommend because I’m not worthy. I simply say I’m worthy but don’t have a recommend by choice because the temple has never been a good experience.

Members need to know it’s not all rainbows and lollipops.

Rituals in all their varieties for human beings seem to be important. They help center us and can ground us in tradition with an ever-changing and sometimes very chaotic world. I am SO glad it was a positive experience overall for all of you. Yes, the literalness and fundamentalism can drive you and me and others a little nuts but I'm glad you did this for your son and wife. There is no shame in that at all.

Sounds like it went as well as could be expected which is a great thing. And if you were able to get through it OK and maintain the good place you're in then definitely worth it and I'm just happy there were no surprises and/or unexpected issues in the process.

Congrats! Glad it worked out for you. I will be facing this in a couple of years. It's too bad they don't allow them to wait until they are adults right? They don't really get to examine both sides and make an informed decision. And if my wife is still as orthodox as she is now, she will probably not give him a choice in the matter (so much for free agency right?). And I am not even sure I will be able to baptize him because I have told the bishop that I am not a believer. So we'll see what happens.

Linked wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 20, 2022 1:56 pm

But, my kid is happy and we both made it through the day.

This was excellent work that this is the end result of the day, and I'm so glad that it did not become the point of contention it could have so easily become, Linked. That seems to be the goal of a NOM for every Mormon milestone, and kudos to you, your spouse and your entire family for making it so.

Thank you all for the kind words. It definitely went as well as it could have.

stuck wrote: ↑

Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:50 am

Congrats! Glad it worked out for you. I will be facing this in a couple of years. It's too bad they don't allow them to wait until they are adults right? They don't really get to examine both sides and make an informed decision. And if my wife is still as orthodox as she is now, she will probably not give him a choice in the matter (so much for free agency right?). And I am not even sure I will be able to baptize him because I have told the bishop that I am not a believer. So we'll see what happens.

Yes, it would be nice if the church were more fair with baptism age! 8 years old is worse than baptizing babies. 8 year old kids are about as compliant as they get, between the toddler and teenage times, so they are likely to go along with it. But they are old enough that they remember it and think that they actually made a lifelong committment. Booo0ooo!

In my case my current bishop knows something is up because I don't have a temple recommend and I told him I'm not interested in one, but I have not completely opened up to him. I told the previous bishop I was an apostate though. If you want to baptize your kid just let the bishop know that is the plan and let him make the next move. In my case he didn't ask anything, we just had the baptism per the program that was planned out between me, my wife, and my son.