Thoughts after visiting Utah

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Red Ryder
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Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by Red Ryder » Thu Jul 14, 2022 2:52 pm

We just recently returned from a week long visit to Utah.

For background I spent a few years living in Utah County during my high school years after family moved there from the PNW. That was 20+ years ago. My family still lives there and we visit a few times a year.

Traffic: can traffic get really worse? It seems there are cars everywhere all the time. Well, Sunday’s are better.

Costco: seems many Mormons have forgotten about that one silly rule about keeping the sabbath day holy. Especially the part that says don’t go to Costco on Sunday.

Houses: ya’ll know you have to heat and cool those McMansions right? How the hell are my kids going to afford a house? How the hell do you afford a house AND pay 10% pre-tax tithing contributions to the church? Single income households? Do they still exist in Utah?

Car Washes: it’s about damn time Utah has embraced the car wash facility. Must be a California thing that moved to Utah with all the Californians who have fled.

Silicon Slopes: it’s a catchy phrase and explains why I’ve never heard of half the Company’s named on the buildings along the freeway.

Coffee Shops: should be a really good indicator that the word of wisdom is a relic of the past. Perhaps the California’s are to blame again?

Geographical trends: it appears the length of your shorts get longer the further South you drive.

Pollution: going to blame the Californians and the Sunday shoppers again.

Temples: they’re everywhere. Pretty soon they will start to fill in the gaps between the current temples. Wait for Alpine and Highland to get announced soon. Then comes Lindon South, Pleasant Grove North, and Orem East temples to be announced. But wait, there’s more! Provo Southwest, Provo City Center II, and Provo MTC temple! Timpanagos II, and Draper Top Of the Mountain Temple are coming soon.

Us vs. Them: perhaps this was more inside my head then real but it felt like there was a lot of virtue signaling going on though clothing choices, bumper stickers, and choices where to eat. The Mormons are at Olive Garden. The non-Mormons ate at Strap Tank Brewery.

Soda shops: you all know what I mean on this one.

Church buildings: obviously the LDS chapels are a dime a dozen. What caught my attention was the other churches that have popped up here and there. Mostly small meeting places to worship such as a suite in the old vacant strip mall, an old house off the beaten path, or even an old LDS building from the 1950’s long sold off from the real estate portfolio. Most likely by some GA’s relative who has become a real estate investor. Who knows.

Summary: Utah, while it appears it’s losing some of the Mormon facade, it’s still a Mormon state run by the church. The state liquor stores are evidence of this. Which by the way, how the hell are you supposed to buy a bottle of wine when the Costco and Sprouts don’t have a wine section? I guess I should have just bought ice cream. There was plenty of ice cream in those stores where the alcohol should be!

It’s a beautiful place and often think it would be nice to move back. But then again, the other 49 states have nice parts too.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

Wonderment
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by Wonderment » Fri Jul 15, 2022 3:46 am

Thank you for this review of Utah ! I'm going to spend next week in Utah, both in Springville, and in downtown SLC for a convention at the Salt Palace. Have not been to Utah for many years, and have never been to Springville. I really don't know what to expect, but I have heard that Utah drivers go very fast, and the freeway down to Springville can be winding at times. I plan to drive in the right hand lane an proceed very carefully.
Next door to my hotel in SLC there's a state liquor store, and there's a Starbuck's coffee across the street. Guess I'll have a good supply of beverages to choose from !

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stealthbishop
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by stealthbishop » Wed Jul 20, 2022 9:31 am

Thanks for this review! Spot on!

It is so congested. I can't even deal with the traffic. Just getting out of Provo to get on I-15 takes an ETERNITY.

The sweet tooth of LDS people is insatiable. The line at the drive-thru soda places are hysterical.

Loved this review.
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sparky
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by sparky » Wed Jul 20, 2022 9:38 am

Whenever I go back to Utah to visit family (usually once a year at Thanksgiving) I'm so glad I left. The pollution and inversions are just getting worse, to the point where it's affecting my mother's health and I worry about her continuing to live there (she'd never leave). All the billboards for the latest MLMs. And nowadays you can never be out of sight of a ghastly temple.

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wtfluff
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by wtfluff » Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:04 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Jul 14, 2022 2:52 pm
Soda shops: you all know what I mean on this one.
stealthbishop wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 9:31 am
The sweet tooth of LDS people is insatiable. The line at the drive-thru soda places are hysterical.

I have NO IDEA what you people are typing about!
Image

Sadly, the SWEET SHOP didn't make it. I can no longer purchase 5lbs of homemade fudge next-door after I pick up my Quad-Charged MORmON Dirty Dr. Pepper™. :cry: :cry:


EDIT: And I've also heard/read that there actually are Soda Shops outside of Utah, so ya'll need to quit with the loud laughter and speaking evil of the Lard's Theocracy. :ugeek:

EDIT, EDIT: AND... If you want to see REAL lines at Ye Olde Soda Shop, visit St. George. 8-)
Last edited by wtfluff on Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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1smartdodog
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by 1smartdodog » Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:05 am

Funny how those Californians leave to get away from the chaos but then want to change Utah to be more like the place they left.


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sparky
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by sparky » Wed Jul 20, 2022 1:37 pm

wtfluff wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:04 am

And I've also heard/read that there actually are Soda Shops outside of Utah, so ya'll need to quit with the loud laughter and speaking evil of the Lard's Theocracy. :ugeek:
You reminded me of this NY Times article from last December. Soda Shops have hit the big time!

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A New Name
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by A New Name » Wed Jul 20, 2022 3:30 pm

I called Swig the "Mormon Starbucks" https://wheatandtares.org/2017/12/10/mormon-starbucks/ in this review on my blog

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Red Ryder
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jul 20, 2022 3:38 pm

I need to reply and suggest I wasn’t exactly making fun of the “Theocracy” because one state south we have many if the same things I listed.

However, I will mention down here in AZ we can enter and exit our carpool lanes at will. No need to wait for the dotted line.

We also have the same soda shops but fortunately our temples aren’t that close and can’t be seen across the valley.

I’m still debating what’s worse. The Utah cold or the miserable summer heat?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by wtfluff » Wed Jul 20, 2022 5:23 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 3:38 pm
...
However, I will mention down here in AZ we can enter and exit our carpool lanes at will. No need to wait for the dotted line.
...
Oh, so NOW you mention carpool lanes eh?

Yeah, Utah carpool lanes are idiotic in more ways that you just mentioned. Luckily I live/work where I don't have to deal with them very often... But I still blame the idoicy on the Theocracy.


Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 3:38 pm
...
I’m still debating what’s worse. The Utah cold or the miserable summer heat?
...
Just give it a few years, and that Climate Change thing that doesn't exist will do away with the cold. It already has for the most part.

But... You'd likely end up in a nice cabin up in the mountains, so yeah, SNOW. (Just not quite as much as years past...)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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alas
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by alas » Wed Jul 20, 2022 8:00 pm

wtfluff wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:04 am
Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Jul 14, 2022 2:52 pm
Soda shops: you all know what I mean on this one.
stealthbishop wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 9:31 am
The sweet tooth of LDS people is insatiable. The line at the drive-thru soda places are hysterical.

I have NO IDEA what you people are typing about!
Image

Sadly, the SWEET SHOP didn't make it. I can no longer purchase 5lbs of homemade fudge next-door after I pick up my Quad-Charged MORmON Dirty Dr. Pepper™. :cry: :cry:


EDIT: And I've also heard/read that there actually are Soda Shops outside of Utah, so ya'll need to quit with the loud laughter and speaking evil of the Lard's Theocracy. :ugeek:

EDIT, EDIT: AND... If you want to see REAL lines at Ye Olde Soda Shop, visit St. George. 8-)
But there are huge lines for every place in St George. Last time we went to In & Out Burger, the drive through was some 50 cars long, at the rate of movement, estimated time of arrival, three hours. Decided eating at home was a great idea. Last time at Costa Vida, the drive through line went half way around the mall parking lot, didn’t count cars, didn’t stay. Tried a Dairy Queen a couple of weeks ago, the drive through went out to the highway, so that until the line moved, you couldn’t even get in line.

And, I have no idea where or what Ye Olde Soda Shop is. But, then we don’t do sugared drinks, so there’s that.

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wtfluff
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by wtfluff » Thu Jul 21, 2022 7:33 am

alas wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 8:00 pm
And, I have no idea where or what Ye Olde Soda Shop is. But, then we don’t do sugared drinks, so there’s that.
"Ye Olde Soda Shop" was a joke/play on words. I was trying to say that any soda shop in St. George has long lines.

Swig was "founded" in St. George, wasn't it? Maybe the extra sugar in St. George is better than the extra sugar at the soda shops outside St. George, and thus the long lines? :mrgreen:


Sounds like everything in St. George is better... (Long lines everywhere.)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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MoPag
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by MoPag » Thu Jul 21, 2022 7:07 pm

I really want a RazzBear from Fizz right now. We don't have any soda shops in Texas. My cousin said a friend of hers tried to get funding to start one but they didn't think people would buy soda with more sugar added to it. Sigh...Maybe one day...
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Red Ryder
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Jul 22, 2022 6:56 am

MoPag wrote:
Thu Jul 21, 2022 7:07 pm
I really want a RazzBear from Fizz right now. We don't have any soda shops in Texas. My cousin said a friend of hers tried to get funding to start one but they didn't think people would buy soda with more sugar added to it. Sigh...Maybe one day...
Yeah but ya’ll have Buc-ee’s!

Image
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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MoPag
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Re: Thoughts after visiting Utah

Post by MoPag » Sun Aug 07, 2022 9:36 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Fri Jul 22, 2022 6:56 am
MoPag wrote:
Thu Jul 21, 2022 7:07 pm
I really want a RazzBear from Fizz right now. We don't have any soda shops in Texas. My cousin said a friend of hers tried to get funding to start one but they didn't think people would buy soda with more sugar added to it. Sigh...Maybe one day...
Yeah but ya’ll have Buc-ee’s!

Image

Love me some Buc-ees!!!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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