Resignation Poll

[Angel]

I resigned. A letter to bishop, requesting they did not wait 30 days.... followed by waiting 3 months, then emailing again to request confirmation that my records were removed, more waiting, finally got confirmation letter.

Lesson learned: Request confirmation letter from the get-go.

It brought a little closure, a weight lifted, not dragging it around anymore. Freedom.

[DPRoberts]

It isn’t my mama that I don’t want to make cry, but my spouse.

Edited to add that I marked that I have no plans to resign, because even if my sweetheart goes first, he asked me not to because that would wipe out our sealing. I promised him that I wouldn’t and I won’t.

That's where I'm at. I won't do it unless we do it together, and she shows no sign of leaving tscc. And, yes, I would not want to end our sealing so long as it means something to either of us.

[DPRoberts]

It isn’t my mama that I don’t want to make cry, but my spouse.

Edited to add that I marked that I have no plans to resign, because even if my sweetheart goes first, he asked me not to because that would wipe out our sealing. I promised him that I wouldn’t and I won’t.

That's where I'm at. I won't do it unless we do it together, and she shows no sign of leaving tscc. And, yes, I would not want to end our sealing so long as it means something to either of us.

[annotatedbom]

I don’t want to make my wife cry.
My mom (neverMo) would have been fine with me resigning. She'd think it weird that a person would have to do that to be left alone by la Iglesia, but that's because she saw la Iglesia for what it was.

[glass shelf]

I resigned pretty quickly after I left. One of my least favorite things about being a member was the pressure to try to "reactivate" people. I always wondered why people who were so annoyed to be contacted (by me who was so annoyed at the pressure to contact people and bother them) didn't just resign, and I knew that I would definitely resign if I was in their shoes.

i want nothing to do with the LDS church. If it weren't for my extended family, it would be a non-entity in my life at this point besides my own religious trauma which I largely have under control these days.

[Red Ryder]

I resigned pretty quickly after I left. One of my least favorite things about being a member was the pressure to try to "reactivate" people. I always wondered why people who were so annoyed to be contacted (by me who was so annoyed at the pressure to contact people and bother them) didn't just resign, and I knew that I would definitely resign if I was in their shoes.

i want nothing to do with the LDS church. If it weren't for my extended family, it would be a non-entity in my life at this point besides my own religious trauma which I largely have under control these days.

Glass, I just love your straightforward “let it all burn down” attitude! I remember years ago when we were all discussing if it was better to take it slow or just rip the bandaid off. You’ve always said to rip it off and let everyone adjust to the new reality.

I wish I had 15 years back. I would have sent out an email to everyone that said:

I’m out.
I’m sorry.
Let’s go to dinner!

And had 15 years of post Mormon life experience.

Coulda woulda shoulda… didn’t.

[glass shelf]

I resigned pretty quickly after I left. One of my least favorite things about being a member was the pressure to try to "reactivate" people. I always wondered why people who were so annoyed to be contacted (by me who was so annoyed at the pressure to contact people and bother them) didn't just resign, and I knew that I would definitely resign if I was in their shoes.

i want nothing to do with the LDS church. If it weren't for my extended family, it would be a non-entity in my life at this point besides my own religious trauma which I largely have under control these days.

Glass, I just love your straightforward “let it all burn down” attitude! I remember years ago when we were all discussing if it was better to take it slow or just rip the bandaid off. You’ve always said to rip it off and let everyone adjust to the new reality.

I wish I had 15 years back. I would have sent out an email to everyone that said:

I’m out.
I’m sorry.
Let’s go to dinner!

And had 15 years of post Mormon life experience.

Coulda woulda shoulda… didn’t.

You know I basically sent that email response to people that contacted me after I left. If it was just an acquaintance. "I'm out. I'm happy. Best of luck to you!" If I actually wanted an ongoing relationship with them, I added "How about lunch next week?" or something to that effect.

I wish I'd figured it out 20 years earlier instead of trying to shove myself into that unhealthy mold. We can only deal with where we are now. I didn't have a spouse that was still active in the church.

i'm in a weird phase now. I could really use some more social interaction outside of my job, but I get invites from a group of people who've left the church in the last couple of years (many of whom I really like as individuals), and I honestly can't think of anything that I want to do less than go meet up and rehash Mormon stuff on my day off.

[Culper Jr.]

I sent my resignation in this year on July 4th. I was going nuts living with one foot in and one foot out. Finally, I was like, "screw it.. I'm going to have to take the hit at some point, what happens, happens." Weirdly, my TBM wife seems pretty at peace with it so far. I think that even though she doesn't like it, it's.... stable? I guess? Honest maybe? I think the one foot in one foot out thing was getting to her too, like me resigning showed her I was really serious and not just griping and being a jerk about church stuff but that I REALLY don't believe it. We went for about 3-4 hours one day negotiating a "peace treaty"... like what to do about WoW and tithing and all. She's a SAHM, so we settled on my pay being 50-50 between us, so she would pay on her half. I don't love it, but I can live with it. I have coffee in the house; she doesn't want alcohol in the house, but doesn't mind if I drink it out somewhere, which I am okay with; not really a big drinker but I LOVE coffee. First week or so was kinda rough, but she is seeing the world hasn't caved in. As far as extended family... not really hiding it but not really announcing it. Nothing from the ward. I went through my bishop and wrote him a kind note that I had doctrinal issues with the church but know him to be a kind, Christlike man; that kinda thing and he was very nice back in response and processed it quickly. Kinda weird to see mission, temple marriage, priesthood, all just disappear from the records, but I feel better now. At least I can be ME now.

[Red Ryder]

Congrats Culper!

I love these updates where couples can figure it out together even if a compromise.

“I don’t love it but can live with it” shows relationship maturity. Thanks for sharing this.

[Linked]

One more for not wanting to make my spouse cry. I marked that I haven't decided but the only reason I haven't resigned is my DW. We are at an understanding and fair spot, so I'm good; but if she ever changes her mind I'll be out the next day.