Sober October Mormon edition

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Red Ryder
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Sober October Mormon edition

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Sep 26, 2022 2:42 pm

I’m going to propose a Sober October Mormon edition.

For the month of October, I will refrain from everything Mormon related. This includes:

All forms of Mormon church activity.
All forms of Exmormon internet activity.

I understand this will be nearly impossible so I’ve made a few exceptions.

General NOMference. Mopag’s GC threads are wonderful cliff note versions. I might pop in and glance to understand what repetitive messages the top leaders will be regurgitating. Also to update my bingo card.

If Syster Ryder suggests a podcast or any other conversations she initiates. Gotta keep the rabbit hole going. Her descent has started to slow significantly which worries me a retrench may be coming.

I just really want to clean out my headspace of all Mormonism. It’s just too consuming and emotionally draining. I fully understand that this also means all garment jokes, garment stories, garment porn, and all other garment disdain will be placed on hold for a month. Perhaps I can make fun of the fruit of the loom guys even if I find them to be amazing half human half fruit characatures.

I’ve reserved a reservation at an outbound facility (Kish’s house) to drink away any sorrows that this month of wishful Mormon sobriety may bring. For those that have my number, please don’t text Mormon memes, pictures of Elder Packer, or any scriptures of interest that may deter me from completing this month of Mormon sobriety.

For those of you who’ve found the Elder Bednar late night erotic stories podcast, please don’t spoil the endings or act out what you hear and see in real life. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I’ll binge watch in November.

For those of you who still attend sacrament meeting and participate for various reasons, please take a double fistful of the sacrament bread. One for yourself and one for proxy on behalf of Red Ryder who is sober for October. However, please refrain from taking a piece of bread with a crust edge. It not only reminds me of the body of Christ, but also of tough leathery middle eastern skin wishing for a moisturizing routine. Two shots of municipal city water to chase down the gluten. No preference to color although I prefer wheat.

I’ve programmed my phone to block the upcoming invitations to tithing declaration, calls to give sacrament talks or substitute in Sunday school, and Liahona magazine subscription renewals. I’ve preplanned my daily drive time to avoid having to drive past the 12 LDS chapels on the way to the freeway. My middle finger will find new ways to be stretched.

And finally, to all that may want to join me. You are welcome to move on with your life away from Mormonism. God speed and good luck. See you on the other side in November!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Angel
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Joined: Thu May 31, 2018 8:26 am

Re: Sober October Mormon edition

Post by Angel » Mon Sep 26, 2022 7:27 pm

I hear ya - work keeps me busy, which is a good thing.

Ok, so what to fill the void with? Excercise? Become a foodie? Find another forum to argue politics on? Book to read? Gardening?

Is it like dieting - 16hr fast, reduce to just one meal a day... perhaps limited minutes here or there?

Perhaps, just the social hall - no religious posts, just social posts :).

Best wishes, I might join you :)
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Advocate
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Re: Sober October Mormon edition

Post by Advocate » Tue Sep 27, 2022 7:11 am

Sounds like an amazing plan! Wish I could join you!

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wtfluff
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:20 pm
Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Sober October Mormon edition

Post by wtfluff » Tue Sep 27, 2022 9:58 am

If only...
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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Red Ryder
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Sober October Mormon edition

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:53 am

Arggggg!

My plans may already be ruined. I was just reminded that this weekend we are on a short road trip with the wife’s parents leaving Friday and returning Saturday. They are expecting to listen to Saturday general conference sessions in the car on the way home! Noooooooooo!

1. I’m either going to have to listen .
2. Or disable the Bluetooth in the car.
3. Buy noise cancelling headphones.
4. Pretend to be sick and not go?
5. Shove a pencil in my ears and risk permanently damaging my hearing?
6. Anyway to buy a cell phone blocker that will eliminate streaming LDS general conference?

What other options do I have Satan? You’re the master manipulator, help a guy out!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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wtfluff
Posts: 3629
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 3:20 pm
Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Sober October Mormon edition

Post by wtfluff » Tue Sep 27, 2022 3:31 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:53 am
...
What other options do I have Satan? You’re the master manipulator, help a guy out!
I'm not Satan. Well... I guess that depends on who you ask.

Anyway - option #7:

7. Buy a nice comfy mouth-guard. Two-sided to protect both the upper and lower teeth preferably.

As far as I can tell, you're gonna need to protect your tooth enamel for a couple hours. :cry:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

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moksha
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Sober October Mormon edition

Post by moksha » Tue Sep 27, 2022 3:36 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Sep 27, 2022 10:53 am
What other options do I have Satan? You’re the master manipulator, help a guy out!
We used to play a game by adding the words "between the sheets" after reading fortune cookie messages. Perhaps the Ryder family could do something similar when listening to General Conference in the car.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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