Are Converts more likely to leave? If so, why?

[deacon blues]

I was born and raised in the Church but always felt I had a skeptical side that others didn't. As I continue to observe the culture I wonder if this grounding kept me in the Church longer? A lot of people I've met who leave the Church were from part member families, or were converts. Do converts have advantages have insights or other characteristics that help them see through or past the curtain of indoctrination?

[jfro18]

So as a convert I can give my own anecdotal experience, which is that when you join as a convert you have a lot of pre-Mormonism life that you can't just shake off.

For me joining the church felt pretty normal - the Book of Mormon read to me just like the Bible (we all know why that is) and they didn't tell me about a lot of the more uniquely Mormon stuff.

So when I went to the temple things just unraveled quickly because it was so jarring and I did not spend my childhood singing about going to the temple to get married... it just felt culty.

That's my experience, but it really feels like the more experience you have outside of Mormonism the more insane Mormonism feels once you're inundated with it.

[Angel]

Ditto.

As a convert, I had family pressure to leave. I have a community outside of the Mormon community. As a female, I have a solid education, a cool career, am not a dependent as so many stay-at-home Mormon wives are.

Once I figured out what "the spirit" really is, and saw abuse - I wasn't just out, I'm anti-Mormon on a crusade to pull other women out too.

[Linked]

My dad is an adult convert. For him I think the church was where his skepticism of the world led him and he is happy there. He is conspiracy-minded and the church has enough in the doctrine and culture to check that box for him. It's odd, because if he pointed his conspiracy thought beam at the church he would have plenty of real stuff to feed his curiosity, but he never got there. Or maybe he has and the common separation of the Gospel and the Church is doing work; the church part may have conspiracies, but the gospel stays clean.

[Red Ryder]

I was directly involved in 24 baptisms on my mission in California.

12 adults married to inactive Mormons.
4 unbaptized kids already on the rolls.
8 converts not previously affiliated with the church.

Every single person who was taught the discussions and baptized didn’t stay active in the church except for one.

Out of the 24, only one had made it to the Temple for his endowment and sealing to his spouse. She was previously endowed but inactive when she married a “non-member”. It was after they had 2 kids they decided to become active so he joined and they were all sealed a year later. He eventually passed away from cancer and as far as I know was active until his death.

Most of the converts I was responsible for became inactive within 6 months due to lack of fellowship. I don’t think they left for doctrinal or faith crisis issues. Just simply stopped going because they had better things to do on the weekends. I always blamed the members for not latching on with friendship. Some moved and lost their “new convert” status between wards so they were inadvertently ignored and treated different.

Some wards were better than others but people still felt like they didn’t fit in. I never really kept in contact after the mission.

I should go back and track them down and see where life has taken them. Some really could have benefited from a close knit relationship with a ward in a closed system of belief. Their lives needed the structure. Others really didn’t need support and were merely getting baptized to placate their member spouse.

[Hagoth]

On the other hand, converts can have an advantage of staying in the church as a nuanced member because they were not indoctrinated with cult-like attachments. Mrs. Hagoth, for instance, doesn't see any quality difference between members and non-members, as so many Mormons imagine. She's from a large non-LDS family who are more more praiseworthy in many aspects than the average Mormon family. She puts no stock in inventions like "fallen countenance," and magical powers like priesthood discernment. She has no problem acknowledging when GAs stay stupid and bigoted things, doesn't feel obligated to accept callings, has no qualms about using her tithing money to help people in need rather than enrich the church, feels no affection for Joseph Smith or Brigham Young...

[jfro18]

On the other hand, converts can have an advantage of staying in the church as a nuanced member because they were not indoctrinated with cult-like attachments.

That's a good point too. I think for me though that led me to be able to walk away a lot easier - it still took a few years after my faith in the church was completely shattered at the temple, but not having that built-up indoctrination made it easier to know 'this is not normal or OK' and walk away as opposed to so many believers that justify the problems in order to stay.

It's also the reason IMO they are making such a big push right now to keep kids firmly in because they know if they can hold on to them through a temple marriage they are so much less likely to leave... but if they can't get that firm grip early on they'll be able to see the problems and walk away without as much sunk cost.

[glass shelf]

My in-laws joined the church in their 20s. They had a lot of fighting and pressure with their own families over it. They're the least understanding of why we left, and the most focused people on fitting into the LDS social norm.

It's all very odd to me because my parents were way more INTO Mormonism as far as obedience, sacrifice, etc. I think it's a social thing that works for my inlaws and the 2/7 children between me and my husband's families who are still active. I found the social aspect of Mormonism hard to deal with when I was a Mormon, so that's likely a key difference between us.

it's kind of wild to me to think that a decade ago, my parents, me, my brother, my husband, and my sil were all still very active, practicing Mormons, and no we just aren't. The only one who wasn't an active Mormon at that time between our two families is my sibling who left after high school.

[Fifi de la Vergne]

I was a convert who joined in my early twenties. For thirty years I was all in, determined to prove myself faithful and checking all the boxes of mission, BYU, temple marriage, etc. Even though it wasn't a comfortable fit socially (I'm an introvert and a bit of a rebel) I worked hard at being a good Mormon until the day it hit me (like a slab of concrete) that it just wasn't "true." After that, the fact that none of my family of origin were LDS made leaving a lot easier than it seems to be for multi-generational Mormons.