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Don't care anymore

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2023 8:51 pm
by Random
I haven't been here for quite a while, but decided to come on today and look around. As I was reading through different posts, I realized that I just don't care. I don't care anything about the LDS Church, other than the occasional gossipy things I might hear, but even that is getting more and more boring.

May those still in a relationship with the LDS Church someday find themselves in that space (I'm sure it's difficult if one has a spouse, parent, or others who are firm believers who make it difficult to leave). It's a blessed relief.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2023 1:33 am
by Cnsl1
Thanks for sharing that. I've noticed my attention, interest, and desire to study and understand information related to the church has definitely waned. I still care, but not as much. I think maybe some day I'll not care at all. I'm sure I'll still care for the people, but maybe not the religion... or at least not enough to for it to bother me. I wonder how long that'll take, and if this is a normal trajectory.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2023 11:15 am
by Red Ryder
Random!

So happy to see you!

You’ve been missed around here with your supporting comments and love. Are you still in AZ?

It sounds like you’re in a great place mentally with the church. It’s definitely a process we go through to I get to the “don’t care” phase. If seen it with our NOM lunch group over the years. We still get together but it’s clearly become our “friends” lunch.

Take care
RR

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2023 7:40 pm
by Hagoth
Good to see your weird crystalline bubble again!

I know what you mean... to a degree. Although I still can't keep myself away from podcasts while I'm exercising, and I still enjoy juicy gossip, memories of the looooong hours I once spent reading all of those books about Mormonism cause me to break out in a cold sweat. I am so grateful that I figured things out enough that I never have to go back to that kind of obsession. I think I'll be involved with NOM until they put me in a hole, though. I can't tear myself away from these fine people.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2023 6:49 pm
by Random
Red Ryder wrote:
Sat Jan 07, 2023 11:15 am
Random!

So happy to see you!

You’ve been missed around here with your supporting comments and love. Are you still in AZ?

It sounds like you’re in a great place mentally with the church. It’s definitely a process we go through to I get to the “don’t care” phase. If seen it with our NOM lunch group over the years. We still get together but it’s clearly become our “friends” lunch.

Take care
RR
Thank you. 😁 It's been great seeing you guys here, too. I've missed all of you.

Believe it or not, I moved to Wyoming a couple of years ago (was in Washington, Utah before that; I move a lot. Sigh). This winter I have been looking at southeastern AZ with envy. 60 high down there when it's 20 high up here. Had a couple of nights of 15 below zero.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2023 6:52 pm
by Random
Hagoth wrote:
Sat Jan 07, 2023 7:40 pm
Good to see your weird crystalline bubble again!

I know what you mean... to a degree. Although I still can't keep myself away from podcasts while I'm exercising, and I still enjoy juicy gossip, memories of the looooong hours I once spent reading all of those books about Mormonism cause me to break out in a cold sweat. I am so grateful that I figured things out enough that I never have to go back to that kind of obsession. I think I'll be involved with NOM until they put me in a hole, though. I can't tear myself away from these fine people.
😁

Speaking of juicy gossip, I have to confess that when someone on LDSFF talks about something the LDS Church is currently doing, I am curious enough to read it and comment on it. But there's no longer that wire attaching me to the LDS Church or to caring about it. It's quite nice to be free from their rule.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2023 6:55 pm
by Random
(That "grin" emoji from pushing the window and ; keys looks a little too much like a grimace. Lol)

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2023 9:15 am
by alas
Random wrote:
Fri Jan 13, 2023 6:49 pm
Red Ryder wrote:
Sat Jan 07, 2023 11:15 am
Random!

So happy to see you!

You’ve been missed around here with your supporting comments and love. Are you still in AZ?

It sounds like you’re in a great place mentally with the church. It’s definitely a process we go through to I get to the “don’t care” phase. If seen it with our NOM lunch group over the years. We still get together but it’s clearly become our “friends” lunch.

Take care
RR
Thank you. 😁 It's been great seeing you guys here, too. I've missed all of you.

Believe it or not, I moved to Wyoming a couple of years ago (was in Washington, Utah before that; I move a lot. Sigh). This winter I have been looking at southeastern AZ with envy. 60 high down there when it's 20 high up here. Had a couple of nights of 15 below zero.
If you don’t mind me asking, where are you n Wyoming?

We lived in Laramie for a few years, and 15 below was common for winter. The night we moved in, we had our belongings in a UHaul. It hit -30 that night, and most of our plastic had shattered like thin glass that was badly packed. The frost was about two inches thick on the inside of the motel window, and we had to put a suitcase against the bottom of the door because there was a tiny gap where we could feel the cold coming in. There was thick frost on the back and even sides of the suitcase. The heater in the room ran constant and probably got it up to 50 in the room. Do not stay at Motel 6 in the winter in Wyoming. There was more than one 4th of July parade where the poor girls in their short cheerleader skirts were freezing in the SNOW. On the 4th of July. The snow didn’t melt, but the joke was it wore out blowing back and forth or that it falls sideways and blows all the way to Denver. Our garage was blocked by drifted snow several times, which left my husband walking to the university. The section of Freeway just out of Laramie going to Cheyenne is the most closed section of freeway in the US, closed due to weather more than freeways in North Dakota or Montana.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2023 5:44 pm
by Cnsl1
Many years ago, we stayed at a Motel 6 in Cheyenne in July. The heater didn't work and it was very cold. And we were not prepared for it. Fortunately, the motel gave us a voucher for a free night.

Random, come on down to Southeastern AZ. The water is fine. Actually, there's not much water so better bring your own, but the weather is great.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2023 11:35 pm
by MoPag
Hey it's good to see you on NOM! That's great that you've found some peace. Stop by anytime. You'll always be a part of our NOM ward family!

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 9:11 am
by Hermey
alas wrote:
Sat Jan 14, 2023 9:15 am
"...Do not stay at Motel 6."
There, I fixed that for you. :lol:

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 6:17 pm
by Random
alas wrote:
Sat Jan 14, 2023 9:15 am
If you don’t mind me asking, where are you n Wyoming?

We lived in Laramie for a few years, and 15 below was common for winter. The night we moved in, we had our belongings in a UHaul. It hit -30 that night, and most of our plastic had shattered like thin glass that was badly packed. The frost was about two inches thick on the inside of the motel window, and we had to put a suitcase against the bottom of the door because there was a tiny gap where we could feel the cold coming in. There was thick frost on the back and even sides of the suitcase. The heater in the room ran constant and probably got it up to 50 in the room. Do not stay at Motel 6 in the winter in Wyoming. There was more than one 4th of July parade where the poor girls in their short cheerleader skirts were freezing in the SNOW. On the 4th of July. The snow didn’t melt, but the joke was it wore out blowing back and forth or that it falls sideways and blows all the way to Denver. Our garage was blocked by drifted snow several times, which left my husband walking to the university. The section of Freeway just out of Laramie going to Cheyenne is the most closed section of freeway in the US, closed due to weather more than freeways in North Dakota or Montana.
That sounds miserable. :(

I'm in Rock Springs. Apparently, this part of Wyoming (southwestern portion) is the warmest part of Wyoming. 15 below is not common here, yet we managed to get that twice last month. I've also noticed that the freeway you mentioned often closes during the winter. Once or twice, the freeway going the other way (toward Idaho) has been closed due to snow/weather.

For the first two winters, we were cold even though the heaters were on full blast all winter (they are electric baseboard heaters), and our electric bill was over $400. Feb of last year, my neighbor (I'm in a duplex that was built ~1901) told me that she'd bought a tower, oscillating, fan-forced heater and her bedroom was a lot warmer. I got the same kind for our bedrooms and it was not only warmer, but a bit cheaper. So, over the summer, I got more of them and have been using them almost exclusively to heat our place. The last bill was a couple bucks shy of $400, but at least we were warm, and didn't have to wear jackets or coats downstairs.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 6:22 pm
by Random
Cnsl1 wrote:
Sat Jan 14, 2023 5:44 pm
Many years ago, we stayed at a Motel 6 in Cheyenne in July. The heater didn't work and it was very cold. And we were not prepared for it. Fortunately, the motel gave us a voucher for a free night.

Random, come on down to Southeastern AZ. The water is fine. Actually, there's not much water so better bring your own, but the weather is great.
Where we are, July can be hot, but winter can go to the end of June easily enough. That sucks that the heater didn't work. :(

I would if I could find a place there. Unfortunately, my dd doesn't want to go to a place that hot, so apparently, I'm stuck for the moment.

For me, that area is great! All I'd need would be water (not city water, but my own well/springs), a swamp cooler, and trees in the right places and I'd be fine.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2023 6:22 pm
by Random
MoPag wrote:
Sun Jan 15, 2023 11:35 pm
Hey it's good to see you on NOM! That's great that you've found some peace. Stop by anytime. You'll always be a part of our NOM ward family!
Thanks. I love the people here, and some of our conversations have been most enlightening - and stress-relieving.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2023 8:59 pm
by Izhmash
I care. I care that the church crumbles and disappears into the dustbin of history.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:38 am
by Random
Izhmash wrote:
Tue Jan 17, 2023 8:59 pm
I care. I care that the church crumbles and disappears into the dustbin of history.
I honestly believe it is in the process of crumbling right now.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2023 2:32 pm
by alas
Izhmash wrote:
Tue Jan 17, 2023 8:59 pm
I care. I care that the church crumbles and disappears into the dustbin of history.
I think this goes in stages. First after our disaffection we care because we are still afraid we might be wrong, and others who agree with us are very important in keeping us from feeling like guilty wicked apostates. Then we get angry and wish the church would crumble and die. That is good and a necessary step. It hurts us and took away years of wasted life and lots of tithing money flushed into a black hole and we should be angry. Then we detach and either don’t care, or only care that it is still hurting loved ones. The apathy is also a stage when we have let go of the hurt and no longer need to prove ourselves right because we are secure in knowing the church is not what it claims.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2023 6:52 am
by nibbler
♩ Well you can tell everyone I'm a unruly child
That I wanted to sin, that my parties are wild
I don't care anymore ♫

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2023 8:03 pm
by Random
nibbler wrote:
Thu Jan 19, 2023 6:52 am
♩ Well you can tell everyone I'm a unruly child
That I wanted to sin, that my parties are wild
I don't care anymore ♫
Exactly. I went to Walmart today, to the liquor part, and as I walked around looking for what I wanted, I was thinking that I didn't care if anyone saw me (not that I know many people here, but that isn't the point :D ) - whereas, in my tbm days if I went into a liquor store so I could by Everclear for making tinctures, I was very uneasy.

Even when I still lived in southern Utah, but was no longer a member, I wasn't completely comfortable. And when I realized today that I just didn't care if anyone knew I was there (and I was buying alcohol to drink, not for making tinctures), it was a really nice, peaceful feeling.

The first time I wore a tank top and went outside, my innards were convinced I would be arrested for indecent exposure, even though my logical mind knew that was silly.

It's really nice not caring, nice not having a bishop or someone else who might humiliate/punish me for acting like an adult with the right to make my own choices in clothing and drink, among other things.

Re: Don't care anymore

Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:21 am
by Ghost
I find myself sort of fighting against not caring to some degree. I recently started listening to Mormon Stories episodes again after not keeping up with them for a while (especially the recent John Larsen ones) and I even ordered a new academic-type book that I'm not sure I'll realistically read (the one about freemasonry that's supposed to be good).

I still have Mormon family ties and likely always will, but I think I might also exercise the sunk cost fallacy in that it seems like it would be a shame somehow to totally leave that part of me behind. I guess I still value that part of my identity even though I have no interest in participating now.

That said, I was just thinking the other day about what a relief it was when I crossed a threshold and all of the Mormon pressure melted away. It's been long enough that I can't really feel that contrast anymore but I can still remember it.