A quick update.

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Red Ryder
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A quick update.

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:18 pm

I’ve been purposely keeping updates to Sister Ryder’s faith crisis to a minimum out of respect and privacy for her story. However this just has to be told.

Her ears a week ago looked like this:
.
After this weekend:
..

How bout that?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

malkie
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Location: Small town, Ontario, Canada

Re: A quick update.

Post by malkie » Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:22 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:18 pm
I’ve been purposely keeping updates to Sister Ryder’s faith crisis to a minimum out of respect and privacy for her story. However this just has to be told.

Her ears a week ago looked like this:
.
After this weekend:
..

How bout that?
Please disambiguate, RR.

Is * = one earring in one ear, and * * = one earring in each ear?
or
* = one earring in each ear, and * * = two earrings in each ear?
aka malkie

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Linked
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Linked » Mon Jan 16, 2023 2:09 pm

Watch out, it's a slippery slope to •••••, or •°•º, and you really have to watch for O O with those big gauges.

Good for Sis Ryder! That's a big step to trust your own sense of morality over what has been beaten into you. Did you get her something nice to put in the extra •s?
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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Red Ryder
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Jan 16, 2023 2:41 pm

malkie wrote:
Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:22 pm
[
* = one earring in each ear, and * * = two earrings in each ear?
This
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

malkie
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Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2019 7:30 pm
Location: Small town, Ontario, Canada

Re: A quick update.

Post by malkie » Mon Jan 16, 2023 2:56 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Mon Jan 16, 2023 2:41 pm
malkie wrote:
Mon Jan 16, 2023 1:22 pm
[
* = one earring in each ear, and * * = two earrings in each ear?
This
Congrats to Sis R!!!
aka malkie

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Hagoth
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Hagoth » Mon Jan 16, 2023 3:01 pm

Shameful!
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

hmb
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Re: A quick update.

Post by hmb » Mon Jan 16, 2023 3:25 pm

When I did * * *, I developed metal allergies. My Jean's rivet snap makes my belly itchy (the only reason I miss garments); wire framed glasses have to be painted with clear nail polish. I'm sure it's punishment from above. LOL.

I look forward to her future, potential tattoo.

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Just This Guy
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Just This Guy » Tue Jan 17, 2023 10:05 am

Next thing you know she'll start getting tattoos, nose jewels, and other body art.

I can't complain, DW is getting her 3rd tattoo Friday.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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Red Ryder
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Jan 17, 2023 4:24 pm

So far the tattoo conversations go like this.

Her: “A tattoo might be cool but I have no idea what I would get!”

Me: “yeah…me neither.”

Neither of us have any desire to get inked as of today. Could happen in the future but just haven’t thought of or found anything meaningful enough yet to go get anything done today.
Just This Guy wrote:
Tue Jan 17, 2023 10:05 am
Next thing you know she'll start getting tattoos, nose jewels, and other body art.

I can't complain, DW is getting her 3rd tattoo Friday.
What are her tattoos of? How did she decide to go with those?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Just This Guy
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Location: Almost Heaven

Re: A quick update.

Post by Just This Guy » Wed Jan 18, 2023 10:34 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jan 17, 2023 4:24 pm
So far the tattoo conversations go like this.

Her: “A tattoo might be cool but I have no idea what I would get!”

Me: “yeah…me neither.”

Neither of us have any desire to get inked as of today. Could happen in the future but just haven’t thought of or found anything meaningful enough yet to go get anything done today.
Just This Guy wrote:
Tue Jan 17, 2023 10:05 am
Next thing you know she'll start getting tattoos, nose jewels, and other body art.

I can't complain, DW is getting her 3rd tattoo Friday.
What are her tattoos of? How did she decide to go with those?
#1 is of her wrist. It is her first horse and the word "believe." She got that because of how much she learned riding and how it helped her self confidence.
#2 is on her upper arm and is a Hydrangea flower. A reminder of a favorite aunt that reticently died.
#3, I'm not sure the location, but it will be a scene of the local mountains with the phrase "What a wonderful world." A reference to the Louis Armstrong song.

Her artist is very good with color and fine detail. Her tattoos are very much works of art.

Personally, I am in the I-don't-know-what-I-would-get category. I'm not opposed to it, just haven't found the inspiration yet.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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MoPag
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Re: A quick update.

Post by MoPag » Sun Jan 22, 2023 11:29 pm

Yay for Sis Ryder!!!

Go buy her some cute earrings RR! (Target usually has cute earrings)
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Mormorrisey
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Mormorrisey » Wed Jan 25, 2023 8:27 am

Wow. How long is it going to take before the outlaws are "quick to observe" that there are more than one hole in Sis. RR's ears and give her grief over it?
I will never forget Lord Bednar's talk on this subject, and how much it's contributed to Mormon judgy culture.

In any event, exciting news! I have a couple of kids contemplating this, and fortunately I've kept quiet about it, as has the missus. Holes are the business of the holer, are they not?
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."

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Red Ryder
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jan 25, 2023 8:38 pm

Mormorrisey wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 8:27 am
Wow. How long is it going to take before the outlaws are "quick to observe" that there are more than one hole in Sis. RR's ears and give her grief over it?
I will never forget Lord Bednar's talk on this subject, and how much it's contributed to Mormon judgy culture.

In any event, exciting news! I have a couple of kids contemplating this, and fortunately I've kept quiet about it, as has the missus. Holes are the business of the holer, are they not?
Mother and father in law have dinner with us once or twice a month, usually on Sunday’s. We rotate through various card games and play after dinner almost every time.

Mother in law never wins and quickly became aware of the double piercings. I saw the confused look on her face.

IT WAS AWESOME!!

So far she hasn’t said anything but I can tell they are concerned. After dinner and before the card games started, Father in Law decided to share his sacrament meeting talk with the whole family unannounced. It was awkward… it ended in testimony and a declaration of “and I really BELIEVE this!” Then an moment of silence followed by “who wants to play 5 crowns??”

I fear the in laws who are church broke, two time temple attending temple workers who stay a second session just to be participants after their “worker shift” is over are planning an intervention. We have a niece getting married in March so so Ryder is struggling with the need to maintain a recommend. I need to find the “how to answer a TR interview” posts from the past.

In the meantime she continues to burn through podcasts and has questioned the sanity of God’s role i. The plan of salvation. Why is Mormon God such a narcissist?

To balance her “faith crisis” she continues to listen to other church positive podcasts which frustrate her.

It’s emotionally exhausting to watch your spouse go through this. Why can’t we fast forward to the part where it’s all bullsh!t? I’m 15+ years ahead of her so baby steps.

Ugh….
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

malkie
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2019 7:30 pm
Location: Small town, Ontario, Canada

Re: A quick update.

Post by malkie » Wed Jan 25, 2023 9:33 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 8:38 pm
Mormorrisey wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 8:27 am
Wow. How long is it going to take before the outlaws are "quick to observe" that there are more than one hole in Sis. RR's ears and give her grief over it?
I will never forget Lord Bednar's talk on this subject, and how much it's contributed to Mormon judgy culture.

In any event, exciting news! I have a couple of kids contemplating this, and fortunately I've kept quiet about it, as has the missus. Holes are the business of the holer, are they not?
Mother and father in law have dinner with us once or twice a month, usually on Sunday’s. We rotate through various card games and play after dinner almost every time.

Mother in law never wins and quickly became aware of the double piercings. I saw the confused look on her face.

IT WAS AWESOME!!

So far she hasn’t said anything but I can tell they are concerned. After dinner and before the card games started, Father in Law decided to share his sacrament meeting talk with the whole family unannounced. It was awkward… it ended in testimony and a declaration of “and I really BELIEVE this!” Then an moment of silence followed by “who wants to play 5 crowns??”

I fear the in laws who are church broke, two time temple attending temple workers who stay a second session just to be participants after their “worker shift” is over are planning an intervention. We have a niece getting married in March so so Ryder is struggling with the need to maintain a recommend. I need to find the “how to answer a TR interview” posts from the past.

In the meantime she continues to burn through podcasts and has questioned the sanity of God’s role i. The plan of salvation. Why is Mormon God such a narcissist?

To balance her “faith crisis” she continues to listen to other church positive podcasts which frustrate her.

It’s emotionally exhausting to watch your spouse go through this. Why can’t we fast forward to the part where it’s all bullsh!t? I’m 15+ years ahead of her so baby steps.

Ugh….
"Why can’t we fast forward ...?"

Sorry to say, but I had that same question myself about 20 years ago, and never found an answer. I learned not to say anything critical about the church, or members, or anything, because it was counter-productive. My wife had to find out for herself, and in her own time.
aka malkie

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Mormorrisey
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Re: A quick update.

Post by Mormorrisey » Thu Jan 26, 2023 11:21 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 8:38 pm

I fear the in laws who are church broke, two time temple attending temple workers who stay a second session just to be participants after their “worker shift” is over are planning an intervention. We have a niece getting married in March so so Ryder is struggling with the need to maintain a recommend. I need to find the “how to answer a TR interview” posts from the past.
Yow. Mormon interventions are not fun. At all. I sincerely hope that does not happen - for everybody's sake.

The challenge for Sis. RR and a temple recommend is simply bishopric/stake presidency roulette. I've been pretty open with my heresy in interviews, and no one seems to bat an eye. I suspect the reason for this is that I'm still fairly orthodox in my praxis, just not orthodox in my theology. I pay some semblance of tithing, I don't like the devil's bean water or the devil's lettuce, I'm not down for hookers and blow, that sort of thing. So they put up with my thinking on other matters as a result.

But all it takes is for a bishopric member to be quick to observe that your spouse has two ear holes, and that might be the end for her. It truly sucks, particularly for women in a patriarchal church, to be on the other end of the table when it comes to temple recommend interviews. I have a family member dealing with this now, as her granddaughter is turning 12 and can go to the temple, and she has not had a recommend for a while. All I told her is weigh how important the temple is to her family member and to herself. Since the church has lied to her for years, stretching the truth is definitely an option, she could be open and honest and see where that leads, or bag the whole thing entirely as being too painful. Many options, but the challenge is finding the right one that works for the individual. What I do works for me, but it won't work for everybody.

Good luck with all this, and give our collective good wishes for Sis. RR's continuing journey!
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."

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