counselor?

[Keewon]

Hi again!! I used to hang around this site some years ago, and greatly benefited from the wisdom and camaraderie here. Now, I've been struggling with a family-related question, not sure where to turn, and it suddenly popped into my head to try here yet again.

Background: I have a 23 year old son, on the autism spectrum, 4 years out of high school but terrified of the outside world. He has confided before that he believes he is trans, or perhaps non-binary- he is not yet sure. I'm at wits' end trying to figure out how to help him deal with the struggles of his life, with further education, coming to terms with his gender identity, dealing with his fears, etc. I'd do practically anything for him. We live in the south Salt Lake area.

We've had some very disappointing experiences trying to find a good therapist through my work insurance, and I am ready to try out-of-pocket if I can find the right one. If anyone has any suggestions of who I might try, I will greatly appreciate it!

There- that was short. Thanks!

[Palerider]

Here in the Intermountain northwest we just had a visit from Temple Grandin who was/is autistic and has done very well with her life in spite of her challenges. With a little research you might even be able to get recommendations directly from her. She's very open and interested in helping people with this challenge. Her website is: templegrandin.com. They have an "ask Temple" section.

In conjunction with that we have several small centers here that are specifically geared towards autistic kids.

So that would be my suggestion would be to research/find centers in your area that are specifically attuned to autism rather than finding a "counselor" who might not specialize in your son's needs. Any good counselor would probably just refer you to a specialist anyway.

I also have a niece who's daughter is autistic living in the Provo area who's involved with "Neuro Different Networking" on Facebook that could be a good networking resource for you.

Hope something here helps. You have a big challenge there and I feel for you. Keep us posted on how it goes.

[Palerider]

P.S.

If you've ever actually seen and listened to Temple Grandin, it is obvious that she is probably nonbinary as well. She may have even alluded to that in her lecture that we attended. I had the feeling that she doesn't make an issue of it.

[Red Ryder]

I have a few family members with similar circumstances with their loved ones. They recommend encircle as a resource for anyone in Utah as a starting point.

https://encircletogether.org

[Keewon]

Thanks, Red and Pale. Are you siblings by any chance? Just wondering since you share the same last name... Just kidding of course!

Thanks for the good suggestions. You folks have been around for a long time. I'm impressed at your kindness to stay and help folks through their faith-related struggles. I've been a member of the local Unitarian Universalist church for a few years, although I'm afraid history is repeating itself since I'm afraid I've gone inactive there as well. But you bring to mind that they could also be a good resource, given their gender- and neurodiversity- related tolerance. I'll talk with the pastor next time I chance to go back.

Again, thanks!

[Red Ryder]

Thanks, Red and Pale. Are you siblings by any chance? Just wondering since you share the same last name... Just kidding of course!

I think we’re cousins from a different polygamous mother.

rider was from the pale mother/sister wife.
Ryder was from the red mother/ sister wife.

Polygamous mother genetics are a hobby of it’s own.

Joking aside, I talked to my brother yesterday after you posted and we got talking about the autistic spectrum and how it seems there is a significant amount of kids that relate with asexual, non-binary, or gender dysmorphia identity issues. I haven’t read or learned enough to have a meaningful conversation but will start to learn and understand more as I’m finding this is close to home with a niece and nephew.

And glad to see you back!

[Keewon]

Polygamous mother genetics are a hobby of it’s own.

It becomes especially complicated when the mothers are likely to be actual sisters or cousins.

Thanks for giving this thought, Red! It's good to hear from you again. Now that I've done a fair amount of healing, I can see myself drifting back to this site. Where else can you find this level of witty and interesting banter? Sunday school?