Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Cnsl1
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Cnsl1 » Fri Jul 28, 2023 2:06 am

I very much appreciate this forum and all the folks who have made this forum possible.

I found the old forum at a time when I thought I was nearly alone in my thoughts and beliefs, and it was a wonderful feeling to realize I was one of hundreds or thousands. I then landed at StayLDS, which became a bit of a sanctuary for me as I navigated this faith transition, which to some degree is still occurring. l eventually found the second version of this forum and it has been quite helpful to my mental health. I don't post much, and like many of you, find that my interest in Mormon things has waned a bit as the years go by.

I still am interested, and I still have silly white underwear in my dresser, though I rarely wear them, and I do not at all believe. My wife doesn't really believe either, but still exhibits a desire to believe, or at least a difficulty letting go what for her is a very long tradition of family mormonism. She does not like to discuss this stuff or listen to podcasts that are negative towards the church because I think it feels too much like they are an attack on her family history and tradition. Only one of our 5 children are even semi active, which is the only one who married in the temple. Still, fortunately, she did not marry an RM and none of our children served a mission, so we didn't have to deal with the ... let's call it mild brain washing that often accompanies missionary service. Unfortunately, I did serve a mission, but fortunately it was mostly a good experience for me, and I feel it probably made me a better person so I do not regret it. Still, it did make it more difficult to see the naked emperor, and it certainly served to mask the bitterness of the kool aid.

A challenge now comes in living in a small Mormon community with several wards, and working with several folks who assume I believe the same as they do. I think my own ward leaders and maybe some within the stake have kinda figured out that I'm at least mostly inactive, but not antagonistic, and still a nice guy trying to do good things.

The very apparent Mormon blinders and filters get a bit annoying at times, and the church influence in local educational and political matters can feel infuriating, but it's still a very nice place to live and the people are mostly very nice and service oriented.

Having a place to park my unbelieving brain with similar minds and take a breath of your challenges and musings has been therapeutic. So again, thank you.

Also it has been fun to let creativity wander about in here and laugh at various thoughts and musings, such as what the BofM might have been like had Sam written most of it.

I am very very grateful that I was able to discover evidence that did not support church truth claims, and that I had a brain open enough to consider that it might NOT all be true after all. It was a rather long process, and pretty painful at times, so having access to a supportive forum like this was invaluable and very very much appreciated. So again, thank you.

Mayan_Elephant
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Mayan_Elephant » Fri Jul 28, 2023 6:33 am

moksha wrote:
Thu Jul 27, 2023 11:07 pm
Mayan_Elephant wrote:
Thu Jul 27, 2023 8:10 pm
You want to start that game here too, Moksha? I am willing to do so, but usually people behave with a bit more manners here.
I don't want any games of any sort, but I have to say I like a less vexatious version of Mayan Elephant better than the Cultellus/Binger that is forever sending me zingers at the other board telling me I make no sense.
Feel free to start another topic or thread if you want me to explain anything, Moksha.

Have a great summer Friday.
“Not ripe in spring, no standing by summer, Laches by fall, and moot by winter.”

Lem
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Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:27 pm

Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Lem » Fri Jul 28, 2023 5:38 pm

Mayan_Elephant wrote:
Fri Jul 28, 2023 6:33 am
moksha wrote:
Thu Jul 27, 2023 11:07 pm
Mayan_Elephant wrote:
Thu Jul 27, 2023 8:10 pm
You want to start that game here too, Moksha? I am willing to do so, but usually people behave with a bit more manners here.
I don't want any games of any sort, but I have to say I like a less vexatious version of Mayan Elephant better than the Cultellus/Binger that is forever sending me zingers at the other board telling me I make no sense.
Feel free to start another topic or thread if you want me to explain anything, Moksha.

Have a great summer Friday.
No explanation necessary, and threats are inappropriate. moksha has a long history here and you don't need to start trouble. Whatever history you have on another board needs to be left there.

Wonderment
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Wonderment » Sun Jul 30, 2023 2:54 am

A huge thank you to Red Ryder and all the wonderful writers here who keep the conversation going and who bring up new, creative, and interesting topics to discuss. I know how much time and energy that takes, and I really appreciate it.

Online communities rise and fall.........they have their day in the sun, just like many social groups. I would completely understand if the main contributors here wanted to take a break and a hiatus. Thanks to all the help and support here, many people have moved on to peaceful and fulfilling lives away from the church.
I admit I don't read this board as much as I used to, but one of the reasons is that so many kind and supportive people, who are terrific writers, helped me resolve a lot of issues. I realize that I should "pay it forward", but in order to do that, we need the newbies to show up with questions, or issues with which we can help them.

I have just one request -- if you decide to go on hiatus, can you keep a list of the membership, and just send everyone an email letting them know what is happening? For some reason, when the former board shut down, I was left out of the loop, and I couldn't find out what happened for over a year.

I was on Reddit for that year, but I wasn't very happy about it, because the conversations seemed so fleeting and so superficial. And there were a lot of really angry people who were just stuck in that space in their heads. I found you all again, just by accident. I'm so glad that I did ! Thank you again to all the wonderful, talented, caring, thoughtful people here. This is the best ward ever. :P Love and blessings to you all, from Wonderment.

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stealthbishop
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by stealthbishop » Sun Jul 30, 2023 6:11 am

I know I don't come on here very often but this place and the people will always feel like home to me.
"Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess"

-Depeche Mode

ceeboo
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Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2023 7:28 am

Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by ceeboo » Mon Jul 31, 2023 5:57 am

Hey RR
Red Ryder wrote:
Tue Jul 11, 2023 3:02 pm
Thoughts? Feelings?
As a never-Mormon, I would like to offer a few thoughts from a slightly different perspective.

Whenever human beings find themselves having to navigate the rough waters of life (stress, potential loss, discomfort, pain, change, sadness, confusion, uncertainty, anger, etc.) we do so, generally speaking, with a personal cost attached to navigating these rough waters. While these personal costs vary from person to person, it is extremely rare for any of us to come out of these storms completely unscathed.

Given this, it can be extremely helpful and cathartic to know that others have gone through similar experiences. The mere fact that someone else can relate to, understand, and/or appreciate some of the very things you might be trying to manage - or have dealt with in the past - can be tremendously calming and supportive.

For what it's worth, before I signed up, I began my experience here at NOM reading some of the threads in the "Support" forum. I thought these discussions were valuable, interesting, and most importantly in my opinion, I thought they were some great examples of human beings displaying compassion and empathy toward other human beings.

Just my initial thoughts about the board and wanted to share them.

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Hagoth
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Hagoth » Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:33 am

ceeboo wrote:
Mon Jul 31, 2023 5:57 am
As a never-Mormon, I would like to offer a few thoughts from a slightly different perspective.
Ceeboo, thanks for your insights! I think you're the first admitted never-Mo I've seen on NOM. It's nice to hear from you.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

ceeboo
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Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2023 7:28 am

Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by ceeboo » Mon Jul 31, 2023 12:06 pm

Hi Hagoth, (Wondering if you're Hagoth7 that I remember from many moons ago? If you are, nice to cross paths again.)
Hagoth wrote:
Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:33 am
I think you're the first admitted never-Mo I've seen on NOM.
Talk about feeling immense pressure! :)

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fetchface
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by fetchface » Tue Aug 01, 2023 7:31 am

With my whole family out and living outside the Mormon Corridor, Mormonism isn't hurting me on a regular basis anymore and the need for a support group fades. I miss the interactions I had here with all of you fine people but I just don't care about Mormonism that much anymore and just check in from time to time to see what kind of stupid things the church is up to now.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
My blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/

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Red Ryder
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Aug 01, 2023 8:54 am

fetchface wrote:
Tue Aug 01, 2023 7:31 am
With my whole family out and living outside the Mormon Corridor, Mormonism isn't hurting me on a regular basis anymore and the need for a support group fades. I miss the interactions I had here with all of you fine people but I just don't care about Mormonism that much anymore and just check in from time to time to see what kind of stupid things the church is up to now.
Hey Fetch! Thanks for checking in and glad to hear you all are out and doing well.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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deacon blues
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by deacon blues » Tue Aug 01, 2023 8:55 am

ceeboo wrote:
Mon Jul 31, 2023 12:06 pm
Hi Hagoth, (Wondering if you're Hagoth7 that I remember from many moons ago? If you are, nice to cross paths again.)
Hagoth wrote:
Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:33 am
I think you're the first admitted never-Mo I've seen on NOM.
Talk about feeling immense pressure! :)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I love you guys soooo much.
God is Love. God is Truth. The greatest problem with organized religion is that the organization becomes god, rather than a means of serving God.

ceeboo
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Joined: Fri Jul 28, 2023 7:28 am

Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by ceeboo » Tue Aug 01, 2023 1:28 pm

deacon blues wrote:
Tue Aug 01, 2023 8:55 am
ceeboo wrote:
Mon Jul 31, 2023 12:06 pm
Hi Hagoth, (Wondering if you're Hagoth7 that I remember from many moons ago? If you are, nice to cross paths again.)
Hagoth wrote:
Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:33 am
I think you're the first admitted never-Mo I've seen on NOM.
Talk about feeling immense pressure! :)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I love you guys soooo much.
Love you back! :)

Izhmash
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2022 1:46 pm

Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Izhmash » Tue Aug 08, 2023 10:19 pm

If I can be honest for a minute. As a politically conservative/libertarian/exmo, I have no home anywhere. If you come to a place such as NOM and express a conservative viewpoint your are mocked, shunned, attacked etc. The exmo community in my experience is just as discriminatory against those who hold conservative ideals as ldsfreedomforum would be against someone supporting lgbtq ideals. Someone such as myself has had to learn that neither sides of the discussion welcomes me. I honestly thought that it would be different but human nature rules.

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alas
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by alas » Wed Aug 09, 2023 3:42 pm

Izhmash wrote:
Tue Aug 08, 2023 10:19 pm
If I can be honest for a minute. As a politically conservative/libertarian/exmo, I have no home anywhere. If you come to a place such as NOM and express a conservative viewpoint your are mocked, shunned, attacked etc. The exmo community in my experience is just as discriminatory against those who hold conservative ideals as ldsfreedomforum would be against someone supporting lgbtq ideals. Someone such as myself has had to learn that neither sides of the discussion welcomes me. I honestly thought that it would be different but human nature rules.
We used to have a political mix, but as the country became more polarized, the Trump supporters went elsewhere, because you are correct, we are not very likely to agree with you and many will argue with you. In fact once when we were more heavily moderated, political stuff was moderated to off limits. I know because I said something about a certain political party, even though it was a joke, and I have actually always been pretty much a swing voter. Until Trump. I got my first moderation over that joke.

Mayan_Elephant
Posts: 465
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Re: Slowly fading away? The future of NOM?

Post by Mayan_Elephant » Wed Aug 09, 2023 10:56 pm

Izhmash wrote:
Tue Aug 08, 2023 10:19 pm
If I can be honest for a minute. As a politically conservative/libertarian/exmo, I have no home anywhere. If you come to a place such as NOM and express a conservative viewpoint your are mocked, shunned, attacked etc. The exmo community in my experience is just as discriminatory against those who hold conservative ideals as ldsfreedomforum would be against someone supporting lgbtq ideals. Someone such as myself has had to learn that neither sides of the discussion welcomes me. I honestly thought that it would be different but human nature rules.
Welcome.

Your experience is accurate. No question about it. Some folks insist that it is because of Trump or since Trump or necessary if Trump or Trump this, Trump that, Trump, Trump, Trumpety Trump Trump Trump. But insisting that it is because of Trump does not make it a fact. In fact, that ain't it at all. We have always had ding dong politicians doing ding dong things. Politics is ideological and the loudest exmo communities are loudly liberal. The communities organize in silos of affirmation (like your ldsfreedomforum example) and the most common silos in exmo communities tolerate different political views about like they tolerate Mormonism.

I say this. If you aren't concerned that there are more testicular injuries in women's sports now than there were twenty years ago, then you ain't need to be too concerned about exmo liberals or Trump. It is all just noise.
“Not ripe in spring, no standing by summer, Laches by fall, and moot by winter.”

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